What's Going On Here?

I'm not as worried about the zombie apocalypse as some people are.  I have entirely different concerns.  I'm worried that certain well-known people are beginning to morph into other well-known people.  It's kind of freaking me out.  For example, Paul McCartney...

...is turning into Angela Lansbury.

Weird, huh?  I'm telling you, it's weirding me out.  And now, we have Madonna....

...slowly turning into Hillary Clinton. 

It's weird, I'm telling you. Really weird.

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Separated At Birth

It could just be me, but have you ever noticed that Mitt Romney looks like Gul Dukat from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine?

What'd I tell you? They're probably the same. Kinda like how I'm pretty sure that Newt Gingrich is the artificially inflated alter ego of the Keebler elf.

I'm pretty sure that they're the same. I mean, Newt looks like he loves cookies. And the elves love to BAKE cookies. Soooo...there's that. But as striking as their similarities are, it doesn't really compare to those between the Tanning Mom, Patricia Krentcil and Zira from Planet of the apes. Behold!

Similarities. Similarities EVERYWHERE.

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Separated At Birth: Mattel Edition

Nicki Minaj totally looks like Mrs. Potato Head. That is all.

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Separated At Birth

Steven Tyler looks like Nancy Pelosi. That is all.

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Separated At Birth: Gaddafi Style

Gaddafi's body has been on display for a few days now. I guess they have him in some sort of store front freezer or something like that? Yeah, that's a third world viewing if I've ever heard of one. But I'd like to share with you the top ten things that were overheard from people who went to view the body. Ready? Here we go...


Number Ten...Hey, look, it's the dark haired guy from Hall & Oates.

Number Nine...Hey, look, it's Sonia Sotomayor.

Number Eight...Hey, look, it's Charles Bronson.

Number Seven...Hey, look, it's Keith Richards.

Number Six...Hey, look, it's Mick Jagger.

Number Five...Hey, look, it's Animal from the Muppets.

Number Four...Hey, look, it's Gene Simmons.

Number Three...Hey, look, it's Lionel Richie.

Number Two...Hey, look, it's the guitarist from Metallica.

And the number one thing overheard from the people who were looking at Gaddafi's body in a freezer...Hey, look, it's Carlos Santana.

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Separated At Birth

Today we learn that Susan Boyle and Robert Pattinson look an awfully lot alike (which is weird when you consider everything). Behold!

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Separated At Birth

Today (that being Friday) as I was looking for something to post for Thursday, I made an incredible discovery. Ready? I realized that Val Kilmer:


Looks like Chaz Bono. Behold!

Day complete.

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Almost An Alpaca

Just so you know, Taylor Lautner of sparkly vampire fame, looks an awful lot like an alpaca.

My thanks go out to BuzzFeed for pointing out this stellar similarity. Seriously, who knew? Granted, who cared? But who knew?!

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Separated at Birth From Meg Whitman

Since I don't plan on voting for either Meg Whitman or Jerry Brown for governor of California, I'm just going to take this opportunity to point out the various different people that they each resemble. OK, fine. Jerry only resembles one that I can think of and this entire post is just an outlet for how frustrated I am with how Meg Whitman has ran her campaign. Hopelessness tends to make one trivial.

The only person that I could find that looked like Jerry Brown was that guy from the Geico commercials. (As a side note, I'd like to point out that Geico has way too many mascots. The cavemen. That cute little lizard. The money with the eyeballs on it. The deep talking guy. I can't keep up. Everyone loves the gecko. Why not just have him carry the ball? He's not real, you know. It's not like it would be animal cruelty or anything.) Behold!

I had absolutely no trouble what so ever in finding folks that Meg Whitman looked like. Mind you, I just said "folks". I did not say "attractive folks". I also didn't alude to anything that would indicate that these comparisons will be anything flattering. Good Lord, no. Far from it, in fact. Up first, Meg Whitman and Vigo the Carpathian of Ghostbusters 2 fame. Behold!

Don't cross the streams, Meg. I just realized that the majority of my comparisons are with people who pretty much had their heydays back in the days of yore. The most modern one that I could come up with might be surprising at first. But I'm telling, you put a blonde wig on Ricky Gervais and they would be more identical than those Olsen twins.

See? Now let's go back to the days of vintage television to see several other folks with whom she could have been separated at birth from. Take the Skipper from Gilligan's Island, for example. He's almost a dead ringer for the woman. Or she is for him. I'm never sure how you're supposed to word comparisons like that. Whatever. Behold, anyway!

Next up, from The Andy Griffith Show, please note the incredible resemblance to a one Aunt Bea. It's eerie is what it is.

My personal favorite in the vintage TV category would have to be the one below. She really does look like Fred Mertz! She could have been married to Ethel. Although, in the days when I Love Lucy was on, she would have had some 'splaining to do if that had been the case. Would the Ricardo's have been cool with a couple of lesbians living next door? Oh, sure, if it had been a couple of gay guys, they would have got along just swimmingly with ol' Ricky (who probably dabbled in the gay on the side). Two lesbians wouldn't have had much in common with them, though.

Now, I realize that with the exception of an ancient and prudish actress from the 1960s, the only folks that I have compared Meg Whitman to are men. Does that mean that I think that she should pay a little more attention to her image? Not necessarily. I mean, after all, her image was good enough to sport on the front of the hundred dollar bill, right?

Oh. Wait. That's...that's...yeah, that's not her. Hmm. Awkward.

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Separated at Birth

I was wrong. I had previously stated that it was nothing less than obvious that Elena Kagan had been separated at birth from a one Mike Myers. That was incorrect. She has clearly been separated at birth from Tiny Tim. They're damn near identical!

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Separated at Birth

Rumor has it that President Barry is going to nominate a one Elena Kagan to replace the soon retiring John Paul Stevens on the Supreme Court.


I'd now like to show you a picture of Mike Meyers and ask you:



Separated at birth?

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Separated at Birth

Rachel Maddow and Fred Savage. Separated at birth? Perhaps? I think so.

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Separated at Birth

There are a lot of times when you see two people and you will swear up and down that they were separated at birth OR that you know who their secret love child is. You know, like how Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (the terrorist guy on trial who wanted the courtroom sketch artist to redraw his nose because it didn't look right) looks as if he is clearly the love child of a one Rosie O'Donnell and one porn star Ron Jeremy. Behold!

What'd I tell you? Or like how 2005 World Series of Poker Main Event Champion Joe Hachem looks ridiculously similar to the Count from Sesame Street.

And then there are the criminals who bear striking resemblances to people that we know and love. Like the BTK killer and George Costanza ("It wasn't me! I was in the pool! I was in the pool!)

Or the recently captured mass murderer Nicholas Sheley and Woody Harrelson.

Or the Austrian pervert and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. (That bastard stole a whole lot more than just Christmas, I'll tell you that. Burn in hell, dude. Oh, sorry. That just seemed like the obligatory thing to say whenever that guy's name comes up. It's kind of like Tourette's. Only I can control it and I don't want to. Burn in hell, dude. See?)

And even American Idol Not-Enough-Vote-Getters-But-Very-Gay-And-Entertaining-While-They-Lasted contestants Danny Noriega and Sanjaya.

All very, very similar and the alleged relationships are based purely on wild, unadulterated speculation. But this one....hoo-boy! This one I don't know. I mean, I realize that I'm speculating, but I don't really think I'd be stretching it too much if I said I'm 99% certain that these two individuals are either one and the same OR were separated at birth. The only problem with my theory and that proclamation is that one is a cartoon and the other is not and that seems like it would involve some sort of cross species breeding procedure that I'm not quite sure has been fully developed to include the scope of cartoon characters and humans fornicating to reproduce. (And if it hasn't, I'm pretty sure they're really close.)

In Queensbury (that's in New York), a 38-year old man, a one Brad Ballard (or so he says), was arrested after selling hydrocodone pills on more than one occasion to an undercover police officer (which is almost never a good idea).

Mr. Ballard (or so he says) was charged with two fourth degree felony counts of criminal sale of a controlled substance. (They have fourth degree felonies in New York? Not just third? I mean, third is like the mildest of all the felonies. What in the hell is a fourth degree felony? It sounds sort of like, "Ah, we kind of have to arrest you, but we kind of don't want to, and it's not that big of a deal...but we've gotta come up with something. I know! We'll make up another level of offense, call it a 'fourth degree' felony and be on our way. Fair enough? Good!")

Below are Mr. Ballard's mug shots. I'm sure that you will instantly recognize him. Behold!

What? Can't place him? Sure you can! You're just confused because you're looking at the live version of him as opposed to the two dimensional animated version of him. Fine, let me help you out! Is he Brad Ballard.....or is he.....Peter Griffin?

I'm telling you, they are one and the same. I'm not hearing any dissention from the crowd (all six of you), so I'm sure I'm right. Keep your eyes open for the rest of the cast of 'Family Guy' to show up in mugshots near you soon!

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