Separated At Birth

Steven Tyler looks like Nancy Pelosi. That is all.

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I Never Thought It Would Be Good

Well, the 49ers lost yesterday. I'm semi-consolable. I'd be inconsolable if this hadn't been the best season that they'd had in at least a dozen years and if they hadn't gotten farther than 29 other teams in the NFL. It's hard to complain about something like that. Easy to be sad, but hard to complain. But don't think that's going to stop people from complaining. No, they complain. You know why? Because people are a-holes when it comes to sports, that's why. Actually, they'll complain about anything that they can find to complain about when sports are involved.

Take the national anthem. The NFL had Steven Tyler sing the anthem before the start of the other game yesterday. Now, I find it an interesting choice, but I'm not going to be surprised if he ends up singing a 'non-traditional' sounding anthem. What would you expect? It's Steven freaking Tyler. There's not one single thing that's 'traditional' about that man. Nothing. (And I'm a Steven Tyler fan, by the way. That doesn't mean that I don't know what I'm getting when he's the choice to sing the national anthem. I know. And I know it'll be something, but that something likely won't be great.)


But people complained about it. Were they expecting anything different? How could they have been? But yet ESPN guy Skip Bayless tweeted "How could Patriots be inspired by that awful anthem sung by Steven Tyler? At least give him some screaming guitars to camouflage voice." Again, his voice wasn't made for the national anthem. What did he expect? I don't know, but it must have been the same thing that an abundance of other people expected.

Deadspin.com went with "Steven Tyler's 'Star-Spangled Banner' was terrible, but was it the worst ever?" Oh, for crying out loud! He wasn't trying to...it's not that kind of a....never mind. And I have those same sentiments for a one Greg Gutfeld of FOX News who tweeted "I went outside to put a raccoon out of its misery - then I realized my neighbor was watching Steven Tyler sing the Star-Spangled Banner." It's not supposed to sound all perfect! It's Steven Tyler! Why were you expecting something other than a miserable raccoon sound?!

OK, sure, it did sound like he kind of got some of the words wrong a couple of the times.

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No S---, Sherlock

This bit of today's blog fodder will be placed in a new category which I am appropriately calling "No S---!" It will be obvious which stories will fall into the "No S---" category, as they will be the ones that you read and you automatically think, "No s---!" Uttering a ridiculously sarcastic sounding "Sherlock!" after you incredulously say "No s---!" is purely optional. Use it if you feel like it. It's up to you.

The inaugural subject of "No S---!" or "NO S---, Sherlock!" is Steven Tyler. As you may or may not already know, Steven Tyler, the lead singer for the ridiculously awesome band whose members are surprisingly still alive Aerosmith, had checked into rehab in May. And while the singer of a rock band checking into rehab isn't usually surprising, at the time, it was in Tyler's case. That's because he claimed that he had checked into rehab to recover from a foot surgery.

According to the folks over yonder there at the AP, "Tyler said the procedures were to correct longtime foot injuries resulting from his physical performances as the singer for the blues-rock band." Wait a minute. "Blues-rock band"? Since when? I've listened to Aerosmith for quite some time (Was really wasted in the 8th row at one of their concerts once.) and I don't recall the "blues" part of the "rock band".

Now, seriously folks, did anyone, ANY-ONE, actually buy that he was in "rehab" to recover from "foot surgery"? Sure. Sure they did. If "rehab" means "detox" and if "to recover from foot surgery" means to "overcome some sort of chemical dependence." Sure they did. Un-believable.

I remember hearing about the "foot surgery" and at the time I thought, "Spare me. Can you not come up with anything that is a bit more realistic? Do you think we're all morons?" Apparently the answers to those questions were "No" and "Yes". That's because Tyler now says that he was fighting a dependency on pain and sleep medications. Aaaannddd.....NOW! "No S---!"

On Friday, Tyler told the folks at the AP, "To have your feet done, to have your leg done, you have to be on narcotics. You have to be on sleep aids at night. I don't know about Joe (Perry) but I was off and running and I didn't like the me that was me. This was a month ago, so I just put the brakes on and checked into detox and just pulled the plug on all of it."

So there you have it. He wasn't in rehab for his feet. He was in rehab because he got hooked on the narcotics that usually accompany most types of surgery regardless of which body part has been operated on. So why can he say that now but he couldn't say that then? I have no idea. But it certainly couldn't be that he thought that if the public knew that he had some sort of chemical dependency that it would ruin his image. THAT certainly wasn't it. Folks, THIS is Steven Tyler. It's not about his image:

Well, whatever the reason, all I can say is:

Steven Tyler? Treated for painkiller addiction? No S---!

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