We're Scientifically Doomed

I came across an article over yonder at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette that was titled "Why does U.S. fail in science education?" My question after reading that headline was "Why does the U.S. not only fail in science education, but also in proper grammar?" But I digress. Back to science. I really find the scales that they use to be completely meaningless, as they tend to categorize students as being 'proficient' or not. The problem with that is that in order to qualify as 'proficient' one usually has to get a minimum of around 60%-65% of the material correct. Sixty or sixty-five percent of anything is not proficient. It's barely half. And on most grading scales, it's all but failing. So I like it better when I am provided with how many people could actually answer the questions correctly. But let me be clear. I like the format better, not the results.

And that's what the article over at the Post-Gazette provides us with. They give us the percentage of people who could correctly answer some of the science questions. The results are so dismally low that I really want to know what people answered instead of the correct answers, as the correct answers seem to be pretty easy to noodle through. Let's take a look at some of them.

Fourteen percent of test takers thought that sound travels faster than light. OK, that's a solid 86 percent getting it right. I'm good with that. What I'm less good with is that 33 people disagree with the fact that Earth goes around the sun once a year. What the hell do think happens? Do they think it goes around more than once a year? Less than once a year? Do they think that the sun goes around Earth? There aren't a lot of choices that would make sense. I don't get it.

Here's one of the more appalling ones: 41 percent of people disagree with the statement that astrology is not at all scientific. Almost half. Geez. Just because stars are involved, it does not mean that it is scientific. It's a load of crap. I realize that there are plenty of people out there who really believe in this load of crap. I also realize that there are plenty of people out there who really like this sort of crap. That's all just fine. You can believe in it. You can even like it. But that doesn't change the fact that it is not scientific. No matter how much you like it.

And this one is as troubling as it is mystifying. 49 percent of people think that ordinary tomatoes do not have genes, but genetically modified tomatoes do. This just makes my head hurt to even think about. Where do those dimwits think that the genes to modify the tomatoes come from? The gene store? Even if you don't know squat about genetics specifically, shouldn't you be able to noodle this one through? Apparently not.

Do I take any consolation that, while in 1988 only about 10% of adult Americans were rated to be 'scientifically literate', in 2008 that number had risen to around 28%? No. Not really. 28% percent is abysmal. And who even knows what that means, anyway? We're just doomed, that's all. Simply doomed.

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Students Who Don't Give A S***

Oh, The Onion. How I love you so. Good question. How do we accommodate students that just don't give a flying f**k?

In The Know: Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don't Give A Shit?

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2+2 = zebra

Yesterday's post involved the idiotic notion that it is a good idea to pay people to remember to take their medication. Apparently, in some people's world, not dying isn't enough of an incentive, but fifty bucks a months seems to really motivate folks. Go figure. Why I should care if they croak it because they're too moronic to realize the benefits of taking medication that they need is beyond me. But I'm guessing that the reason that test scores are going up over there in New York has to do with a method that has to be along these same lines of thinking. That's right. They're giving kids credit on tests even if they have given the wrong answer (including no answer at all). Wait. Wuck?

Correct. According to the NY Post, on the exams that kids take to determine if they're going to advance up to the next grade, the students "...got "partial credit" for wrong answers". Now, I read that and I wondered if they were referring to something like essay questions, as you can have rather subjective answers that vary here and there. Good thing I didn't have to read too much farther to learn that is wasn't English or anything like that for which partial credit was being given. No, it was MATH. That's right. Math. See, there was at least half a credit given"...after failing to correctly add, subtract, multiply and divide." And "Some got credit for no answer at all." NO answer? Was the answer zero? No? What the what?

Keep in mind that these were not just rogue scorers who were grading these tests and giving away credit like it was welfare. No, this extremely unorthodox (Translation: Asinine) method was discovered when "...scoring guides obtained by The Post reveal that kids get half-credit or more for showing fragments of work related to the problem -- even if they screw up the calculations or leave the answer blank." Oh, good Lord....

At this point, I'm still hoping that this isn't going to be as bad as it sounds like it is. Turns out, it's at least that bad. Probably worse. Let's look at a few examples that the Post gives us. Try not to weep until you're at the end. Your eyes will get watery and it will be hard for you to focus on the remaining words.

The example below is worth 2 points. The question reads: "Milton takes $400 on a shopping trip. He plans to spend 1/5 of his money on DVDs. How much money will Milton spend on the DVDs?" Try not to focus on the logistics of why Milton is on a "shopping trip" that includes a budget for DVDs. Also, try not to wonder what he is spending the other 4/5ths of his money on. No, try and focus on how the child whose answer sheet this is wrote down the formula for figuring out Milton's DVD budget, but did not do the calculations. The child knew that you divide 5 into 400.00, but did not actually perform the act of said dividing. Granted, the question did say "Show your work". It did not say "Show your answer". Perhaps this is why the child was given one point for showing the correct equation. Never mind that the child never answered the question, leaving Milton at a loss as to how much to spend on those DVDs. No, he knew the theory behind division, so that's good enough. That's pretty much all they require at NASA, right? Just know basic concepts and those space shuttles will fly themselves, right? Yeah, OK. Next example...

The example below is worth 2 points. The question reads: "Thomas buys a skateboard that is two feet long. What is the length, in inches, of the skateboard?" Never mind that two feet is a rather short skateboard. The poor simpleton who answered this question chose to add 24 and 24. Now, he added them correctly and came up with the answer of 48. Unfortunately, the only thing he got correct was adding 24 and 24. See, it might surprise you (or at least, that child) to learn that there are only 12 inches in a foot. Thus, the correct answer is 24. This child has multiplied the number of skateboards that he has by two. Either that or he had a four foot long skateboard. Both of which are not deserving of ANY credit! But in New York, he gets one point!

Other examples of what New York feels are deserving of partial credit are things like :

A miscalculation that 28 divided by 14 equals 4 instead of 2 is "partially correct" if the student uses the right method to verify the wrong answer. Tell me, how in the hell are you going to use the right method to verify the wrong answer?! If you used the right method to verify, wouldn't you figure out that the answer was wrong and change it to the right one?

A kid who subtracts 57 cents from three quarters for the right change and comes up with 15 cents instead of 18 cents still gets half-credit. Half credit? For giving someone not enough change? Sure, that's fine. Whenever I receive the incorrect amount of change, I always just let it slide because I know that the cashier did something. Yeah, that's how the real world works. Exactly. Perfect. Seems logical!

These scoring guidelines are something called "holistic rubrics". The fact that this stupidity has a name makes me hate it even more. (Though I do appreciate that it has a variation of the word "rube" in the name. That's telling.) This holistic rubric crap "...require that points be given if a kid's attempt at an answer reflects a "partial understanding" of the math concept, "addresses some element of the task correctly," or uses the "appropriate process" to arrive at a wrong solution." I need a wall. I need to bang my head against it until I pass out. Are you effing kidding me?

Please note that it says "attempt at an answer". Does that mean that if the question is "2+2= __" and the kid writes "zebra" that there is partial credit given because an attempt was made? I mean, it does "address some element of the task correctly", right? The kid knew that an answer went in that spot and wrote "zebra". Does that count? It probably does. And do they not see the problem with their logic in giving credit for using the "appropriate process to arrive at a wrong solution"? If you get the WRONG answer, you're NOT using the APPROPRIATE process! The APPROPRIATE process is the process that gives you the CORRECT answer! You morons!

The part that really scares me is that these are not difficult questions. If the scoring has to be dumbed down to this ridiculous level (ie, just marking things correct when they are clearly wrong) for such basic calculations, then how dumb are these kids really? We're never going to know until it's too late. And we might just be a little past too late these days. We're so doomed. Goodbye, sweet America. Goodbye.

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I Don't Know Why He Swallowed The Fly

You know, the most effective way to complete your high school course work and earn decent grades is to a) study, and b) to actually do the course work. Using some sort of entymological ingestion procedure as a way of getting an 'A' on your Algebra II test is probably not a really good way to go about things.

Dateline: El Dorado Hills, California. Sub-dateline: Oak Ridge High School, Algebra II class, test day. From CBS-13 KOVR News, the story plays out as follows. The Algebra II teacher killed a fly in class with his hands and then dared any of his students to eat the dead fly, allegedly enticing them by saying, "If anybody eats this fly then I will give them an A on this test." Go on. Guess what happened next. Guess! You got it. Some paste eater ate it. (Maybe he was branching out.) Now guess what happened after that! Go on. Guess! That's right. No A.

Steven Zeldag is the lad in question and judging from his score on his Algebra II test, he's not just dumb, he's fly-eatin' dumb. The lad scored 9 out of 46. That's just a hair under twenty percent correct. He claims that his teacher said that "...I told you I'd give you an A on your test, so here's your A, but it's not going in the gradebook." "The teacher even wrote, "Here is your A on your test," when he returned the paper to the student." Behold!

The story continues by explaining Steven's revelation, saying that "...he realized what he thought was a deal was really just a joke at his expense." Dun-dun-DUNNNNNNNN!! Ya think? What a moron.

"I didn't think he was joking at all," said the fly eater.

You know, I should probably take that back. The moron part, that is. The kid might really be a good kid. Maybe he's good with his hands. (Well, if he's not, he'd better get good with his hands, because I don't know how well that book learnin' is going to be turning out for him.) But judging from his ability to discern whether or not a teacher is jerking you around by saying "I'll give anyone an A who eats this fly", I don't know that he was ever going to pass that Algebra II test in the first place.

See, he seems to have overlooked a real key piece to this ordeal. Son, your math teacher can't give you a grade that is contingent upon your ingesting any insects. Hell, or mammal for that matter. Insect. Mammal. Egg layer. Unless you are enrolled in a course that specifically requires the ingesting of animals, eating any sort of animal isn't going to help you. If you gobble down a field mouse, you're not going to get an A on your biology exam. If you consume an entire raccoon, it's not going to get you an A on your term paper. That's not the way that it works...at all!

Mind you, this is an algebra class. Algebra consists of solving for the unknown. There are not a lot of unknowns in this story. There's an awful lot of "known"s though. The way that scholastic achievement grades are doled out. The general area of the kid's overall IQ. Things like that. Things like your future if you keep thinking that the eating of a freshly squashed insect is going to propel you to the top of the class. Your future won't be unknown. Your future will be dim. Your future will be counting change out for people. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But when you're a high school student, don't you want something more than that to look forward to? My point.

Those are the knowns. Here are a few of the unknowns:

One: The article said that this fly-for-grades debacle took place last month. What does that mean? Today is the 4th of November, so "last month" could have been just last week, but we don't know that. I have no idea why that wasn't clarified. (I take that back. I have some idea. It's called "The media is crap".)

Two: When the principal was contacted to comment on this story, he said that "...it was the first time he heard about it." OK. Since the principal hadn't heard about it that means that neither the boy, nor the teacher went to him. I'm guessing that, out of the two of them, the only one that I would foresee going to the media with it would be the boy. Now, that makes little to no sense to me because "Stephen said he was afraid to tell his principal because his teacher would punish him." Um, so you go to Channel 13? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Oh, wait. This is the same kid who ate the fly, right? Never mind. It all makes perfect sense.

Three: I don't think the kid is being totally honest about why he didn't study for the test. He made it sound like the deal was made (an A for a fly snack) in advance of the test being given and because he was under his self inflicted delusion that he would be getting an A, he didn't study. I'm thinking it was more like he didn't study and saw the chance to weasel out of possibly (likely) getting a bad grade and when the fly opportunity buzzed in (pun totally intended) and presented itself, he took it. No way he ate the fly a week in advance or something and just didn't bother to study for the test because he had a tummy chock full o'fly. No way. I'm not buyin' it. But from the news report, it's hard to tell. That's right, because the media sucks. How'd you guess?

We're so doomed. Let me just tell you, if I had pulled this stunt in high school, it would not have ended up on the news. If I was dumb enough to eat the fly and expect an A and then I was dumb enough to tell my family about it, I probably would have been slapped upside the head by one or both parents before they laughed me out of the house for being such a moron. Oh, and if I even thought about bringing up the subject of "Hey, so, the local news wants to do a story on me being an idiot and eating a bug", do you know what would have happened then? It would have been loud, I'll tell you that! I'm guessing something to the effect of my needing to think about how important the roof over my head and the food in my stomach and the clothes on my back actually were to me because if they weren't that important, I'd be doing that story on the news and my parents would have stopped providing all of those things to me. No WAY would they let that happen. THEY don't want to be known far and wide as the two people that raised the fly-eating, test-failing dumbass. But now? Sure! Go on the news! Tell everyone how dumb you are. Enjoy! Oh, and when you come around to cut my grass, don't cut it too short, all right? Thanks.

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Something Doesn't Add Up

Today we can thank the lovely state of Minnesota for their contribution to the dumbing down of America. Nice job, Minnesota! You've managed to make sure that those that fail are not accountable for their own failures! On top of that, you've managed to implement a system of test taking as a 'requirement' that doesn't 'require' one to actually pass the test! Again, ladies and gents, that's Minnesota! The state of Minnesota! How 'bout a big hand for 'em? Grrrrr.

So, I see the headline over there in the StarTribune.com which read "Minnesota juniors dodge math-test bullet." First of all, you really shouldn't be shooting at the students, I don't care what class you're in. Math, biology, English, it doesn't matter. Leave the firearms out of the classroom, that's what I always say. (Well, it's what I've always thought. No one likes to be shot at.) And I tried really hard to ignore the fact that they hyphenated "math test" (even though I think that it makes them look like dumb-asses.). But what I couldn't ignore was only 57 percent of high school juniors who took a state math test (the passing of said test was to be a requirement for graduation) were able to pass the test. That means that 43 percent (or, if you're authoring this article "more than 40 percent". What? Could they not figure out how many didn't pass if they knew how many passed, so they just rounded down to 40? Were the folks writing this story part of that 43 percent?) of the kids failed the test that was a requirement for graduation. Yeah, that's a problem. So you know what they did to fix it? That's right. "The Legislature decided in May that, at least for now, students no longer have to pass the 11th-grade math graduation test." Um, what now?

Correct. See, the thing is "Many educators think it's too hard, and feared it would have caused a dramatic drop in graduation rates next year." Oh, OK. That's fine. Better to just get the kids to graduate regardless as to whether or not they've learned a damn thing than to not graduate them and realize that something is wrong somewhere and try and fix it. Sure, that seems like a perfectly reasonable solution. Oh, wait a minute. NO IT DOESN'T!!

I mean, that's not even a do-over rule. I want that rule applied to my entire life! I want Minnesota's "Too hard, never mind, our bad" rule applied to my entire life. Bank account overdrawn? Yeah, the math that I needed to do to in order to have an accurate balance was too hard, so the bank should give me back all of those overdraft fees they charged me. Oral exams for my Master's degree? Too hard? Ah, never mind. Just give me the degree anyway. Always late to work because it's "too hard" to make it on time? That's OK. Just show up whenever you feel like it; that will be much easier. Sure, all of those examples sound swell. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, how about this scenario? How about new rules get implemented that say if you fail the test that was required for graduation, you're allowed to take it again and try and pass again? Sound good? And if you fail again, you can try again after that. After all, this is high school graduation we're talking about. I'm all for second chances. Minnesota is even giving them a THIRD chance if they fail the test the first two times. Well, good. Giving the students at least three chances to pass seems reasonable and if they can't pass it after the third try, well then I guess they don't graduate. Wait a minute. Whoops. I'm sorry. That's not right. This is how it really works: If they take the test which is a requirement to graduate all three times and fail alll three times, they can still graduate. Wait. What?!

Then that's not a "requirement"! A "requirement" is something that is "required" of you. HENCE THE TERM! Um, I'm not trying to be demeaning here, but just how stupid are these kids who can't pass the test? I mean, are they really not so bright that they're going to take the test two more times after the first failure and graduate regardless as to how they do on it? Why on earth would you do that? Take it once. Fail it once. Realize that you don't have to pass it to get your diploma. Do not take the test two more times. Do not pass 'GO'. Do not collect....oh, never mind. Those folks will be collecting $200 and then some from the welfare rolls because they'll have a useless diploma.

The state Education Commissioner, a one Alice Seagren, has said that "...she's worried that the math scores could drop next year once students figure out they don't have to do well to graduate." What is wrong with you people in Minnesota who are running the education system?! Of course that would happen! If I didn't have to pass the behind the wheel portion of the driver's license exam, would I be a careful and courteous driver with that testing person in the car with me? Hell, no! It's demolition derby all the way, baby! I'm taking out a couple of cars in the parking lot before a run a few red lights going at least 20 miles over the speed limit in a residential neighborhood as I dodge families of four in crosswalks! I'm certainly not keeping my hands at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel if I can still get a license if I fail that test! (Does anyone really drive like that? 10 and 2? It's like an ancient myth or something. Be on the lookout for someone who drives with their hands at the 10 and 2 position on the steering wheel. And while you're at it, keep an eye out for Bigfoot and the Yeti as well.)

Ah, but here's the problem. See, the folks in Minnesota who are in charge of these sorts of things? They seem to have an amazing talent for interpreting the situation in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with what the problems are. That and they say things that are the complete opposite of each other, but act like they're the same. For example, the article states that "...many educators say that, overall, Minnesota is still near the top in the world when it comes to math education. The state simply has high expectations for its students." Now, the article doesn't specifically cite any of the "many" by name. And really? "Top in the world"? Minnesota? Math? Was the state originally going to be named Minus-ota, but they wanted to keep their world class math education kind of low key, so they went with Minnesota instead?

So what's the problem? I mean, if you set those high expectations and you actually did have "top in the world" math education, wouldn't you be able to 'educate' those kids about all of your world class math and get them to pass the damn test? And why is Minnesota even comparing itself to the rest of the world? What say you start with the other states in this country before you and your "top in the world" math education start globetrotting, OK? And while you're over there not comparing your state to Latvia, can you give me any sources at all that back that up?

Well, the article (which continues to get worse in content as it goes along) cites something called The Trends in International Mathematics and Science Study that claims "...Minnesota's students are outperformed by only four of 36 countries in fourth-grade math, and five of 49 countries in eighth-grade math." Am I the only one who remembers that we're talking about those in eleventh grade?! And who are in the United States?! Where are those numbers?! Nope, they don't have them and that lends absolutely no credibility to the unnamed educators who are allegedly claiming "top in the world" math education exists in Minnesota. I'll tell you what does not exist in Minnesota, (at least at the Star Tribune )and that's decent reporting and journalism! (We're SO doomed.)

So the next time you make a purchase in a store and the clerk (who looks to be about twelve but is probably 18) can't even count your damn change back to you correctly, you can thank Minnesota for leading the way in the dumbing down of our youth! Not only that, but let's make sure that re recognize their education administration over there because that bureaucracy is really "top in the world" for stupidity and asinine decision making as well!

Now, anyone who knows me personally knows that I have a very fond affection for math in general. (I have an even fonder affection for some of those who taught me math in high school.) I like numbers because they're orderly and they make sense. I wanted to see this test that these 11th graders could not pass. Let me just mention that you ARE allowed to use a calculator AND the first few pages of it are every single formula under the sun that you could ever possibly need to solve any of problems (thus eliminating any extra memorization of said formulas). The test itself does contain some typos and some of the questions are poorly constructed, I will say that about it. Other than that, it's not that difficult. Once you understand what the question is asking (which, again, not always the easiest to understand), you can use a little bit of logic and the process of elimination to noodle them through. So, considering all of the help that it gives you at the beginning, what with the formulas and the calculator and all, coupled with the "top in the world" system they think they have going there, perhaps it's not math that the students are having difficulty with and instead it's their inability to use logic and reasoning to effectively problem solve. Ever think of that, Minnesota?

You can view a sample of this test at this link here. You know, in case you want to see if you're smarter than a fifth grader AND smarter than an 11th grader in Minnesota. Actually, I'm not so sure if it's the 11th graders that I'm concerned about as much as I am the administrators who are patting themselves on the back and comparing the achievements of their students against those of students in foreign lands. After all, the 11th graders will eventually get out of that system. Those administrators? They'll still be there long after kids have failed the required math test three times and still been allowed to graduate. Way to go. USA! USA! USA!!

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