Bed Sheet Insanity

California is in dire straits. The budget is completely out of control. It's going straight down an s-hole, if you will. And with things so freaking bad, what does the state legislature do? They debate whether or not to make it a law that hotels must use fitted sheets. I kid you not. Read on!

According to the lovely LA Times, the law proposal "is intended to address back injuries sustained by hotel housekeepers" And they think they're going to do that by only using fitted sheets in hotel rooms? Clearly, whoever wrote this bill (Kevin De Leon (D-umbass-Los Angeles), I'm talking to you) has never made a bed. Even with a fitted sheet, you still have to lift up the mattress to tuck that little corner thing underneath. So what in the hell good is it going to do to only have fitted sheets?! On top of that, you need to have at least one flat sheet on a bed, don't you?! I'm not going to sleep with a fitted sheet on top of me. That just won't work!

But this is seriously going on. The state of California wants to make it a law that you have to use a certain kind of a sheet if you're a hotel. What happened to "Land of the Free"? You can't possibly tell me that this is it?! I don't think that there needs to be a freaking law that defines the type of bed sheet that a private business uses! The government is going to tell a privately owned business just exactly how to do its business? If that doesn't chill you to your core (AND annoy the holy crap out of you), then you, my friend, need a helmet. We're so doomed.

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Late To The Party

This has been plastered all over the Internet at this point, so I feel like I'm a little late to the party on this one. Then again, being late has never stopped me before. The video below is of a guy named Ted Williams. (No, not the baseball player who had his head lopped off and frozen in some cryonics lab somewhere.) He is homeless, seemingly due to drug and alcohol problems that plagued in him the past. He claims to be two years sober and is now looking for work. What makes him different from all of the other homeless guys that accost my vehicle at the off ramps? Well, this guy actually has a marketable talent that he's hoping to let people know about so that he can find his way off of the street and back into regular life. The video is below. His talent will become obvious as soon as he opens his mouth. For some reason, folks have taken to calling him the Man With The Golden Voice. I don't know what a golden voice would sound like, but it's pretty amazing regardless.

Update on this story: The Cleveland Cavaliers have offered him a full-time job and a free house. I believe that he has accepted. Congratulations, Ted! Now get to work.

Update Part Deux: Originally, when posted on YouTube, this video had garnered over five million hits. This man's story is everywhere. Naturally, that's why the video was taken down due to a copyright claim by The Dispatch, the newspaper that broke this story (I think). What gives, Dispatch? A copyright claim? Are you serious? Wow, good thing that his story got out there before you and your copyright claims took the video down. Maybe if you had done that a little sooner, the guy would still be homeless and no one would know about him. Good idea. Thanks for nothing, Dispatch.

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"Let It Be" In Norwegian Is Still "Let It Be"

I never thought that I'd be writing about the promo video for a Norwegian TV show called 'Gylne Tider', which translates into 'Golden Times', but yet I am. How the Norwegians managed to put this together, I have no idea. I also have no idea what this promo video has to do with their show. Actually, I'm really confused about all of it. And it's not like I can't explain it. I just don't get it. But I really like it anyway.

Here's the scoop: Apparently, the Norwegians that make promo videos for upcoming television programs in Norway decided to have a bunch of random celebrities lip syncing to The Beatles "Let It Be". And when I say random, I mean freaking random. There are people who participate in this endeavor whose names you likely haven't heard for years. At the very least, you certainly haven't thought of most of these folks for years. And the ones that you have thought about? You're going to wonder what they're doing making a Norwegian video with some of these other folks. I know that I'm wondering that very thing still.

I've taken the time to compile a list of the folks who are in this thing. I'm not sure why I did it, but it does save you the trouble of watching the entire thing, as it does run just a few seconds over six minutes. The video is below the cast of characters, but if that doesn't work, try watching it over at Videogum. It's really worth a gander. It's so random that it's awesome.

Roger Moore (James Bond)

Huey Lewis (Sans The News)

Jason Alexander (The one from Seinfeld, not the one that was married to Britney Spears for an hour.)

Rikki Lake (From the show with the same name)

Josie Bissett (Hot, hot Jane on the Melrose Place that didn't suck)

Alberto Tomba (Olympic skier)

John Nettles (English guy, plays something called Bergerac)

Corbin Bernsen (Arnie from the late 1980s series LA Law)

George Wendt (Norm from Cheers has had plastic surgery)

Paul McKenna (A "top hypnotist", whatever that means)

Philip Michael Thomas (Tubbs from Miami Vice. Really?!)

Steve Guttenberg (Mahoney in the Police Academy movies)

Katarina Witt (German figure skater, which they call "OL mester i kunstlop". I like their way better.)

Tonya Harding (Really? They call her "kunstloper i trobbel" which translates to "figure skating in trouble.)

Glenn Close (Awesome US actress, dubbed "Farlig begjaer" (Fatal Attraction) by the Norwegians)

David Faustino (Bud Bundy from Married With Children)

Gorden Kaye (English actor guy)

Alfonso Ribeiero (Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)

Pamela Anderson (From Baywatch and from just being freaking hot)

Leslie Nielsen (So...does that make this his last work?)

Mickey Rourke (They list 9-1/2 weeks as his known achievement)

Sheryl Lee (Laura Palmer from Twin Peaks)

Jamie Walters (The afterthought character Ray from Beverly Hills 90210.)

Larry Drake (Who played the mildly retarded Benny on LA Law. How do you even find someone that obscure?)

Dolph Lundgren (Rocky IV)

Malcolm Jamal Warner (Looking a lot like Bobby McFerrin, but Theo from The Cosby Show)

Judd Nelson (Now bearded and bespectacled, but still from The Breakfast Club)

Ana Alicia (Extremely attractive and apparently known for being Melissa on freaking Falcon Crest.)

Peter Falk (From Columbo...he's still alive?)

Kelly McGillis (Now gay, but not when she was in Top Gun sweating under Tom Cruise)

Sherilyn Fenn (a one Audrey on Twin Peaks.)

Rick Schroeder (Who I met at a wedding reception in July and who was the kid in Silver Spoons)

Bud Spencer (Dubbed a "Spaghetti-western filmer")

Robert Englund (Freddy Kruger from A Nightmare on Elm Street)

Roy Marsden (Who played someone called Inspector Adam Dalgliesh)

Boyzone (An Irish boy band)

Dan Jansen (Olympic skater)

Kathleen Turner (They have her listed as from War of the Roses, but to me, she'll always be Chandler's Dad on Friends)

Maggie Reilly (Everytime We Touch)

Harpo (Listed oddly as simply "Movie Star")

Maria McKee (Show Me Heaven)

Meja (Very attractive and from something called "All About The Money")

Fab Morvan (That's right. From Milli Vanilli. He's probably really good at this lip syncing stuff.)

Dee Snider (From Twisted Sister but, thankfully, not looking quite as scary.)

Dr ALBAN (Sing Hallelujah)

Right Said Fred (The "I'm Too Sexy" guys. And by the way, they're not.)

Daryl Hannah (Still looking like a hippie chick and still from Splash!)

Rednex (Cotton Eye Joe)

Michael Conner Humphreys (The guy who played Forrest Gump as a child with braces on his legs, but who now sports a nose ring.)

Michael Learns To Rock (The Actor)

Ten Sharp (You)

Lou Ferrigno (The Incredible Hulk)

Berlin (The "Take My Breath Away" chick)

Style (Vill Ha Dej)

I told you they were random. All in all there are fifty four people that, for the most part, we weren't sure were still kickin' around. My only question is how can you go from Tonya Harding, a certifiable, trailer trash, whackjob to Glenn Close, a class act, Emmy award winning actress?! I have many other questions as well. How did they find all of these people? What is the significance? Are all Norwegian TV show promotions six minutes long? I need to know!

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