JTP is Back

I always knew that Joe the Plumber (aka Samuel J.Wurzelbacher) didn't have a whole lot of candle power going on upstairs. That doesn't mean he's a bad guy or anything, it just means that he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. Some folks that operate on a lower wattage than a lot of us are fully aware of their shortcomings. Some. Not all. Unfortunately, not all. No, some are just as unaware as to their dimness as they are unaware of a lot of other things. Joe the Plumber seems to be in the latter category.

I thought this guy had finally figured out that he was no longer needed for any sort of political anything and would have gone quietly away. And he did go away for a while, though he could have gone a bit more quieter. (Did he really need to slap his name on a book that we're all supposed to pretend to believe that he actually wrote?) But he's back and it doesn't sound like he's learned much from his 15 minutes of fame.

According to a one Scott Detrow, who is a reporter for PA Public Radio, Joe the Plumber was on hand to lend his support to Representative Sam Rohrer’s Mobilize for Liberty event. According to JTP, he's been approached by over 200 politicians looking for his "endorsement". (I have that in quotes because I'm not real sure what an endorsement from JTP would actually consist of.) So far, he's only seen it fit to back five of them. He makes it sound as if he has some sort of complicated vetting process, but it sounds to me like he sits down with folks to listen to them for a bit and then he decides whether or not he agrees with what they're spouting. I'm not saying that's a bad idea. It sounds fairly reasonable. All I'm saying is that it's not a complicated and drawn out process or anything.

I find it amazing that anyone would want to have this guy stump for them. I mean, after all, who is this guy anyway? He's not really anyone other than the guy that John McCain grabbed onto and had as sort of a backup spokesperson for his campaign. (You remember John McCain? Him and that quirky lady from Alaska gave President Barry a pretty good run for the presidency.) If it hadn't been for McCain elevating JTP to a position of anything more than just a guy who asked a question of Barack Obama during an election stop, there would be no reason for JTP to be doing anything today other than unclogging toilets and laying pipe. (If that is, in fact, what he did before. I really have no idea, nor do I care. I was just going with stereotypical plumber duties there.) Oh, but don't expect him to be loyal or grateful to McCain or anything. No, he's done with that.

According to Mr. Detrow, Joe the Plumber "...said he doesn’t support Sarah Palin anymore...Because she’s backing John McCain’s re-election effort." He also said that “John McCain is no public servant" and he called him "a career politician". All rightee then. Let's see where that came from, shall we?

Apparently, Mr. Detrow had the same reaction that I did and he "...pointed out he’d just be plain old Sam Wurzelbacher of Ohio...without McCain." Yes! That's exactly who he would be. But that doesn't matter to JTP as he responded with “I don’t owe him s—. He really screwed my life up, is how I look at it.”

Umm...screwed your life up? That's how you look at it? How, exactly, did he screw your life up? Because if it hadn't been for John McCain then you wouldn't be supporting those five politicians that you chose to support? Is that it? No, that can't be it because that would be asinine. Was it that your life was so screwed up that all you can do now is support those five politicians? No, that can't be it because that, too, would be asinine. Maybe it was having to put his name on that book. Maybe that's the life screwing that he's referring to. (Oh, sure, I realize that seems asinine as well, but I'm running out of speculative theories here, so you're really going to have to work with me on some of this!)

Joe the Plumber believe that “McCain was trying to use me. I happened to be the face of middle Americans. It was a ploy.” Why, yes! Yes it was a ploy! Congratulations! That might be the first thing that you've gotten right all the live long day! What the heck did you think McCain was doing with you?! Using you! Yes! And what do you think these five politicians that you've chosen to support are doing with you? Using you! Yes! Wait...does he get that last part?

I don't think he does. When Mr. Detrow asked him why he's still milking the whole JTP image thing he replied that "...it’s his duty to take advantage of the platform he’s been given. He wants to talk up the issues he cares about, and encourage the grassroots tea party movement." Wait. What now?

So, it's OK for him to take advantage of him, but it's not OK for anyone else to take advantage of him? It doesn't matter how he got to where he's at, even though what he's stumping for is right along the same platform that McCain was campaigning on. That has nothing to do with it, am I understanding this correctly? I'm pretty sure that I am, but it's just so ridiculous that I'm beginning to question it myself.

It's completely unclear to me why JTP has this impression of John McCain, but he's not exactly acting like a guy whose life has been "screwed up". He seems to be a rather unappreciative and clueless guy who is pretty lucky to be in the position that he's in regardless as to how he got there. I'm not saying that he's lucky because he was some sort of hidden genius that the world would have never been aware of otherwise. I'm saying that he's lucky because who wouldn't want to be handed a platform (and a bunch of money) to go out there and say what they believe and have people seemingly want to listen to you? That's a pretty good gig if you can get it.

Fortunately, these Joe the Plumber appearances are usually short lived. We shouldn't have to hear from him or about him until at least May, maybe June if we're lucky.

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Joe the Dumber

I'm going to begin by quoting the title of an article that is brought to us by the highly amusing and bluntly-to-the-point folks over there at The Inquisitr. The genius that they crafted goes something like this: "Why won't Joe the Dipsh....er..Plumber just go away?" An excellent question that was posed for a valid, yet not so excellent reason. He's back. And he's not just back. He was asked back. On purpose! By the Conservative Working Group. Shoot me. No, wait. Let me finish this first, then shoot.

The Conservative Working Group is a bunch of staffers up there on Capital Hill, who regularly get together to figure out the strategies and then map out the roads of the Republican Party. They're the ones that tell Congress and the Senate what they think. And they want to know what Joe the Plumber thinks. WHY do they want to know this? I'm confused! Actually, maybe I'm not. I haven't seen much out of any politician or politically involved entity in the past year or so that makes me think that any of them have a brain bigger than a walnut (all newly elected members are exempted from that cranial comparison to the walnut). Thus, if they really are as clueless and as inept and out of touch as they seem to be, they would naturally ask JTP to tell them what he thinks should be done. Right. Of course. Now shoot.

You missed. Damn. Anyway, he had breakfast with these guys on Tuesday morning. And according to him, "It went really well.” What does that mean? You got a free breakfast? I'd consider that as having gone "really well". (I like free food.) But what did he tell them that went "really well"? Again, according to him, his "...advice, essentially, was to take no prisoners in standing up for their beliefs." Aw, crap. And they're listening to this drivel? "Take no prisoners" is not exactly the approach that I want any politician to use. "Take no prisoners" implies that one has a goal in mind and they will achieve that goal no matter what and no one will get in their way and those who do will just be shot down. Not literally, of course, more of a figurative approach in this instance.

You know what happens in a two-party system when one side adopts a "take no prisoners" approach there, Joey? Especially when it's the side that does not have control of the House or the Senate that pulls that? Yeah, the other side does the same thing and everything goes nowhere. That sounds productive. What else did you tell them today, JTP?

"It’s not politically incorrect to say you’re Republican or conservative. They need to dig their heels in and fight for what needs to be done.” And that would be...? Oh, he didn't say, that's right. JTP, if the Republicans are not looked upon in the most favorable of light, you might want to take a look at why that is and see if the reasons are valid. If they're not, then absolutely defend yourself. But if they are? Don't blame others for not liking them for it. (Here's a tip: The Democrats were in control of the House and Senate when W was still President, but since W has that "R" next to his name, all of the other "R"s take on the same stigma as the extremely detested President. You might want to point out that it's been the Democrats that have had control over the passing of bills and the guiding of the country, so if things aren't quite up to par around here these days, they would be the ones to turn to for an explanation as to how we got here. Start with that. See how it goes! You'll be surprised at how many people did not know that the Republicans were not the majority in the House and the Senate since the 2006 elections.)

Oh, Christ, is there more?! What now? He said that there is "no reason to be subtle, as long as folks inform themselves." Um, don't you think that they would have already done that by now? Don't you think a bunch of them are informed? Nice assumption that the general displeasure with politicians (and I'm not buying the "everyone thinks Reps. are evil" stuff. I think both parties are chocked full of more than enough crap weasels to go around.) But here's where we know for sure that if any sort of political staffer is actually listening to JTP and passing his ideas along to the elected officials that we are doomed. Doomed! Ready? He said, " I don’t believe there’s two sides to every story. It’s black and white. There’s right and wrong.” And there's also dumb and dumber.

So, what he seems to be saying is that his way is right and everyone else's way is wrong. Interesting. But Joe, in one breath you say that there are not two sides to every story, yet in the next breath you say that "It's black and white." Black and white. That's TWO SIDES!!! "There's right and wrong." TWO SIDES again!! See?! There ARE two sides to every story! You can't even get that straight, but you feel that you're qualified and informed enough to advise moronic congressional staffers who seem to want to hear what you have to say?! Good God, man, what planet are you from? One with only two sides? Or one that's black and white?

Also, "One thing that needs to be done is killing this stimulus package, because it’s just another example of “American government....kicking our butts left and right....It's welfare." You are clearly unfamiliar with the welfare system in this country, JTP, as welfare does not have to be paid back! This stimulus package? Oh, it has to be paid back! By me! And you! And everyone else! And their children! And their dog! And their dog's dog! I wish it was welfare! At least that way I wouldn't be paying it back for the rest of my life! Any suggestions? No? Then pipe down.

When asked about his own political aspirations (Oh, Lordy!), he says that "America will just have to wait six years until his son grows up." (Hey, I'll wait longer than that!) “I don’t know if the American public deserve me, but my son definitely deserves my time now.” What?! If we don't deserve you, King JTP, then sit down, pipe down, and get the hell out! Hey, wait a minute! Weren't you in DC this morning chowing down on pancakes and sausage (which is made out of pork. I'm just sayin'.) with a bunch of staffers? I believe you were. What happened to your SON you just spoke of?!! Aren't you supposed to be spending time with HIM?!?! I don't recall him being at that breakfast! Didn't you just get back from the Gaza Strip where you spent a week pretending that you were a reporter? Was your son with you then?! I don't think he was! Was this a sudden revelation that you had recently? This "caring for my son" act? Spare me. Spare all of us.

Some people's heads are so soft that if I pushed in toward the middle on both sides with my fingers they would end up touching. That's how softheaded someone would have to be to not only listen to this guy, but to actually make an effort to get his opinion! What qualifies his opinion as one that would supersede all other regular people opinions? I suppose if you're looking for an under qualified, fake plumber who most of the country has grown tired of and is starting to loathe then he's your guy!

Shouldn't you be standing in the line of enemy fire in Gaza or something? No? That gig is over? Well, then go home and be a father to your son, JTP and give the rest of us a much needed break from you and your "Monarchy Now!" platform.

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JTP's Big Adventure

If you've been thinking to yourself, "Self, where can I find some really bad reporting. I mean bad. Horrible. Terrible. Bad reporting by someone completely unqualified who has nothing relevant to report. Where can I find that?", then you're in luck! Fortunately for you and your nagging ache for bad reporting, Samuel J. Wurzelbacher, aka Joe the Freaking Plumber, is reporting live this week from the Gaza Strip to give us a different perspective on the fighting between Israel and Hamas. (A different perspective would be defined as "half ass at best"). Wait. He's where? Doing what? Who again?

Correct. Joe the Freaking Plumber is reporting on Israel's side of the conflict in Gaza. Why, you ask? That's what I've been asking since I heard of this idiocy. Apparently some organization called Pajamas TV or just simply pjtv.com, which I have read described as "a conservative website" has brought Joe on board to bring them to viewpoint of the (wait for it) "average Joe" over there in Israel. Good Lord, we finally reached the bottom, haven't we?

Why on earth JTP would be considered, let alone qualified, to do something of that nature is beyond me. I could be wrong. He could be a wordsmith with a poetic way of summarizing the events that perplex so many of us (mainly because we either a) don't care or b) are tired of being the world's policeman). Or he could just be a big, bald dude who is riding this fifteen minutes of fame long and hard until it can't walk in the morning. And I really can't say that I blame the guy exactly. I'm sure he's being offered a fair sized pile of cash to do this gig. I guess I just wish that he would at least act like he knows that he's not exactly qualified to be an embedded reporter or an outbedded reporter, for that matter. If he would just stop acting like he is so G-D important to all of us, it would be a lot easier to take. Not much, but some.

Joe's first report came from a town in Southern Israel called Sderot (pronounce that how you will because without the proper amount of vowel-age, I'm lost.). How have these battles effected the people who live in Sderot? Well, according to JTP, they "...can't do normal things day to day, like get soap in their eyes in the shower, for fear a rocket might come in....I'm sure they're taking quick showers. I know I would." Oh. My. God. WTF is that? Did I pay to read that? No? Thank God.

Hey, Joe! Did it ever occur to you that the ol' shower might be foregone a bit during times of mortar shelling and what not? They can't get soap in their eyes? What the hell kind of a privilege is that? Are you still having a problem with that when you shower, JTP? Speaking for just myself as a technical "adult", I have managed to overcome the SIES (Soap-In-Eyes-Syndrome) since I was about 6. Somewhere along the line you just learn to (follow me here) close your eyes when you're rinsing off the soap and voila! No soap in the eyes! It's amazing! You can imagine my delight when I first realized that....at the age of six!!! ::::sigh::::: Shoot me. Now.

According to the pop-culture reporting of MSNBC.com, JTP explained how he fell into his latest role when "...pjtv enlisted him to cover Israel because he's "an expert on media bias."I was on the short end of the stick, like Israel is now." Yeah. You and Israel. You're exactly the same. I can see where they were coming from all right. Wait. WHAT?!

Joe's breathtaking display of man on the street, er, man on the strip reporting can be seen over at PJTV.com. But I've narrated the summary of his interviewing technique which steers clear of "media bias" and gets the opinion of the "average Joe". It's simply fascinating.

"I'm not going out of my way to make them dislike me. I'm just being myself." (Well, JTP, that might have something to do with their dislike, cowboy.)

The following is the account of JTP talking to a bunch of reporters. Yes, reporters. Now, he does have a guy standing next to him who JTP claims has a great story to tell. I don't know if he did or didn't have a great story to tell because it never got to that part. Instead, JTP spends his time harping at the other members of the media who are there. The media's responses to JTP are in the parentheses below and JTP's barking at them is not.

I'm not the story here. If you guys are going to do a good story, listen to what this guy's gotta say. Get it out for real. Don't slant it. Tell the facts. Tell the truth. Quite honestly, I'm not real happy with any of you guys. I'll be very blunt. Uh, what's this? More media? Hey, guys! You want a story? Come here! Who are you guys with?

(Reuters.)

Reuters? Huh. Reuters. How 'bout you guys?

(Channel Ten.)

Channel Ten? OK. You guys want a good story? Right? That's why you're here? One, I'm not the story. I'm just an average guy. The story here is people are being killed....And the media is slanting it and trying to make it, uh, you know uh, Hamas's, uh, as far as uh, Israel's being bad.

Do you believe Israel's bad? (It's not as bad this report, I'll tell you that.)

(Do I believe Israel's bad?)

Yeah! Do you?

(I'm Israeli, so... )

So answer the question! (Who does he think he is? Jack Bauer?)

(No, I don't think Israel is bad.)

What about you? Do you think Israel has every right to protect itself?

(Yeah.)

You do?

(Yeah.)

Have you said that on air?

(I'm just a reporter.)

You're just a reporter.

Uh, they're not real happy. (Can't say that I blame them.)

Does he know that, as a reporter, he doesn't just have to mingle amongst other reporters? Why is he chewing out the Reuters guys? He's right there in the Gaza Strip, surrounded by folks whose lives are affected every single day by this war and JTP spends his time interrogating the Israeli cameraman from Reuters. (I have no idea why JTP sounded so perplexed when the guy said he was with Reuters. "Huh. Reuters." Yep!! And....? Oh. No and. OK, then. How about you just yell at that cameraman a little bit? There ya go!)

And since Joe is giving his opinion on just about anything he thinks might be relevant, let's see what he has to say (as a reporter) about reporters covering the war over there on the Gaza Strip.

"I'll be honest with you. I don't think journalists should be anywhere allowed war (sic). I mean, you guys report where our troops are at. You report what's happening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I think it's asinine. You know, I liked back in World War I and World War II when you'd go to the theater and you'd see your troops on, you know, the screen and everyone would be real excited and happy for them. Now everyone's got an opinion and wants to downer–and down soldiers. You know, American soldiers or Israeli soldiers.

I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting. You know, war is hell. And if you're gonna sit there and say, "Well look at this atrocity," well you don't know the whole story behind it half the time, so I think the media should have no business in it."

I'm SO confused. He's acting in the capacity of a journalist (I can't bring myself to actually call him a journalist) and he's stating that he believes that journalists should not be allowed anywhere near the war? Be-cause....why again? Wait. Because they make a big deal out of it? Well, yeah! It's a war. It's kind of a big deal. I don't know about you, but if I had mortar shells intermittently being fired into my neighborhood on occasion, that would quantify itself as a big deal to me. Actually, that would quantify itself as a big freaking fat deal to me! Rockets that kill people are a big deal, Joe. Deal with it. And what's with the World War I and II references? That's what you want us to go back to? Reporters in actual foxholes and black and white footage in movie theaters? Um, that sort of seems like a small step backwards to me, but you can try that if you'd like. Let us know how that works out for you.

Look, I don't consider myself to be a journalist. Good Lord, no. I consider myself to be plenty of things, but a journalist is not one of them. That being said, the world doesn't need any more commentators. (Now, that's my gig. And it's getting crowded in here.) The world needs reporters and journalists and it also needs the media. And it needs them to all be impartial and committed to reporting events truthfully and accurately and those facets of distributed information don't seem to be a requirement anymore. That's the problem, Joe. The problem is that people who are supposed to be reporting simply aren't. That doesn't mean that they all need to be banished away from all events that occur! Does that belief extend to everything out there that is reported on, Joe? Why are you there again? Aren't YOU supposed to be reporting? I have yet to hear you report on anything that is going on over there other than your incredible dislike for everything that isn't the way that you think it should be. John McCain might have been fond of your act, but I, most definitely, am not.

So he's over in Gaza, chewing out cameramen and proclaiming that "the media" shouldn't be allowed to "report". I see. Well, we've learned plenty here today, haven't we? We sure have! We've learned that if you milk your fifteen minutes of fame long enough, after a while you'll start to believe that you're really that important. And after that happens, then you'll start acting like you're really that important. So it's a good thing if you end up in Gaza and have to duck and run for cover to dodge incoming rockets because you're going to need that duck and cover maneuver when you get back to the US, but not because of incoming rockets.

Long live the reporting media!

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JTP.com

There were several things I was looking forward to when the election was over. The most obvious one was that the election would be over. Can we all come to some sort of an agreement that the next time we need to elect a President, that we not start over two years beforehand? I mean, that's a bit much, don't you think? (Of course you do! You were here. You managed to make it through the most insufferable of the insufferable. How can you not want a shorter campaign window? Sorry, Hillary.) But some of the things that I was really looking forward to have NOT happened and, quite frankly, I'm rather disappointed. I thought we had a deal. I don't know with who, but I'm pretty sure I remember some sort of a deal. (Oh, wait. That was change. Someone said that they distinctly remember being promised 'change'.) Why am I still being subjected to Joe the Plumber and Sarah 'Bible Spice' Palin?!

I have seen more of Sarah Palin since the election was decided than I have the entire time that she was campaigning. Why is it that people feel the need to speak out now about things that came up during their campaign? Wouldn't speaking out during their campaign have been a bit more timely, not to mention sensible?

She was on CNN with Greta van Susteren (who is always in soft focus. Why is that? The other people are in hard focus, but Greta gets a bit of the fuzzy treatment. A little too much on the face tightening there, perhaps? Who knows? But it's weird.). She talked about Clothes-Gate and how she did not personally go out and purchase $150,000 worth of clothing after she was chosen to be Grandpa Spice's running mate. And I believe her. Why didn't she say so during the campaign? It got way out of hand. Could she not have squashed that then so that it could be over now? I don't get it.

Now, for some odd reason, there's talk of her running for President in 2012? There is? Why? She lost, right? OK, just checking. She's hot and all (though I've seen some who are hotter. Heck, I know people who are hotter.) and I know I'm not supposed to say that, but if I say that she's hot and then follow it up with "but that doesn't mean she's qualified or able to lead", does that help? I thought so.

And I keep reading and seeing on TV that she spoke at the Republican Governor's Association meeting in Miami this week. It's being made out to be this huge deal. Do you know how many Republican governors made it to this wingding? Thirteen. Thirteen! That's it?! Oh, but it gets better. She gave her first press conference while she was there as well! It must have been rough on her. She was probably all winded after speaking to the whole baker's dozen of governors there. But she gave her first press conference and there were (wait for it) over one hundred reporters there! Thirteen governors, one former Miss Wasilla, and one hundred reporters. Good Lord, media folks. Get over yourselves and go find some real news to cover.

But then there is the most overrated, non-issue monger of the campaign, Joe the Plumber. Why am I still hearing about him? The man asks Barry one question and the next thing you know he's a groupie on the John McCain tour bus! Then he hired a publicity firm and there's been talk of him running for Congress! What the hell, people?! Oh, but wait, there's more! What is the mandatory action that all new found and unwanted celebrities or public figures must accomplish within 6-8 months of their unwarranted fame? Before you answer that, you should know that there are two correct answers and both of them count because both of them are happening. Anyone? Anyone? You! In the back! If you said 'land a book deal' and 'launch a website', you win! I mean, we lose! I mean, wait. Do we care? I don't think we do. Let's find out.

Yes, JTP (Joe the Plumber) has a book deal. Again, the man asked one question. Is this going to be a picture book? Are we sure it's a book and not a flyer or a pamphlet?

JTP's website is called Secure our Dream. It probably should have been named 'Secure the Cash Before People Forget Who I Am'. The home page has 'A Message From Joe' which I would be surprised if JTP actually wrote himself. I just can't see him using a word such as "hearkens". But then again, maybe he did write it himself. Part of his 'message' starts out with "For those of you just visiting this website..." As opposed to what exactly? Those of us moving in?

Oh, good Lord. I began mocking this before I had finished reading everything. Do you want to know 'About the Mission"? Well, I did! So I clicked. I was greeted with this: The other day, I was contacted by 72-year old man who pleaded with me to share his story with the media and politicians. He and his wife lost all of their savings in the stock market recently. They worked all their lives for this country and now they have nothing. Why? Because of corruption in Washington. That man asked me, “What do I do now Joe?" Wait. What?

First of all, if this alleged 72-year old is asking Joe the Freaking Plumber about what he should do now, then that is probably one indication of how he lost all of his money in the stock market in the first place. (Not the brightest bulb on the tree, if you know what I'm saying.) But corruption in Washington is why the stock market tanked? It is? There has always been corruption in Washington. There has been a lot more lately, but that's not the point. How is the corruption in Washington tied to the stock market? What about that whole housing market thing? You know, where the banks made all of the loans that they knew that they were never going to be paid back for and then people stopped buying houses and paying for them and the whole market went in the crapper? Was that not a big deal? Oh, not as big as the 'corruption in Washington', of course, but kind of big?

I guess not because as I continued reading "About the Mission" I read "So, here’s my promise to Robert and the other Joes and Janes out there who have been failed by their politicians. I have formed this organization to bring together individuals who want to help others, while at the same time ensuring our government keeps answering our tough questions." Wait. What? The politicians failed this guy...how? Oh, right! The corruption. Got it. I'm a little slow. Perhaps there's more for me to read and learn about! Oh, good! There is!

"With your help, we can stop the government and banks from taking peoples' homes away. We can stop our elected officials from selling our children into debt with our enemies. We can help each other far better and faster than the government has ever been able to." Make it stop. Make it stop now, please. This is the first I've heard about the government and the banks just arbitrarily taking away peoples' homes for, apparently, no reason whatsoever! It's not like they fell behind on their payments because they bought a house they couldn't afford or anything like that. It's not like all of those sub-prime mortgages were given out to people who don't understand the concept of a 30-year mortgage and how adjustable interest rates work. No, none of those things happened. It was the corruption in Washington.

I have no idea what the part about the "elected officials selling our children" means. There are child sellers in Washington?! I had NO idea! Sounds bad. But by far my favorite part is at the bottom of "About the Mission". "If you are an individual, business or organization that is interested in joining or donating to our soon to be established non-profit organization SecureOurDream.org, please click Joe's Friends to email us and we will contact you soon." Well, they covered just about everyone who they wanted to know were eligible. What's wrong with 'If you are interested'? Are they trying to make it clear that they exclude animals? But seriously, "soon to be established" just kills me. If you want to give us money for something that we haven't got all together yet and can't tell you what we'll be doing with your money, please, call now! Operators are standing by! WTF, JTP? WTF?

The "Joe the Forum", "Joe the Media" and "Joe the Blogger" links are all under construction and we are told 'thank you for your patience'. Uh-huh. The one section that does have content is the "Shop Joe" link where you can pre-order his pamphlet flyer book AND get a year's membership to his website along with a one year subscription to the "Joe the Blogger" newsletter (Newsletter? Why is it "Joe the Blogger" and not "Joe the Newsletter Writer"?) AND free shipping on all "Shop Joe" merchandise! All for the low, low price of only $14.95! (Paperback book slated for release December 1, 2008. Mark your calendars now!) And that $14.95 is quite the bargain because as a member of the JTP Super Special Club, you will be charged an annual membership fee of $19.95! Yeah, but is he going to fix my leaky pipes or what for that price?

The site claims to have already had "tens of thousands" of individuals who have "...expressed your desire to join this movement." Really? WHOIS data shows that the domain name was registered on Oct. 23, 2008. Today is Nov. 14. So, 22 days? "Tens of thousands?" According to the folks over there at Alexa, the average percentage of global Internet users who spent time that they will never get back on the Secure Our Dream website was 0.000148%. The average number of daily global Internet users that I could track down was about 250,000,000. Don't get up, I'll do the math. That amounts to around 37,000. And while that is "tens of thousands", there's a reason they went with "tens of thousands" instead of just saying 37,000. They should have gone with "a lot". I wouldn't have checked up on "a lot". But I'm still glad I did because it helped alleviate any fears that I might have had about this guy actually getting elected to Congress.

The election is OVER! John McCain understands that! I haven't heard a peep out of the guy (not including when he was on Leno earlier in the week. And he was funny, so I'll cut him some slack on that one.). How come these other two won't go away? It's over. Go home. Shoo!

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