Sunday, June 12, 2011

Just Stop Being A Perv!

Holy crap. Look, I know that I've wrote way too much about penises this week (Penii?) and in more ways than one. I've wrote about people who are named after schlongs (Anthony Weiner) and people who just are acting like dicks. (Anthony Weiner again. Shocking, I know.) And since he won't resigns and keeps pulling crap, I have to keep getting all bent out of shape about it. (Which, by the way, is what I wish would happen to his wang.) And yesterday, he pulled the ultimate lame-ass move for someone who has been caught acting like the pig that they are. That's right. Anthony Weiner went into "treatment".

Treatment for what? You jackass! Treatment for how to not act like the downtown corner trenchcoat flasher? Treatment for how not to act like a 14-year old boy in the full throttle of hormones surges? Treatment for the proper care and usage of a flipping cell phone?! Treatment for how to be a better liar (because you have sucked at lying the entire time)? Treatment for how to not cheat on your wife of about one year who is newly pregnant? Any of those? Any of 'em? Bueller? Bueller? Treatment for WHAT?! You don't need "treatment". You need a friggin' belt! And you need to keep it ON your pants so that you're not tempted to drop them and take pictures of your thing and send them over Twitter to college girls! That's what he needs!

Go! Go away, take your penis with you (as if he'd ever go anywhere without at least an 8x10 glossy of it) and just go away. Please listen to people in your party who are requesting that you resign. Just stop making a mockery of this whole deal and making people think about your weenie. Go! At least if you resign and go away, then you can be your pervo self and not a pervo Congressman. It's none of my business what you do if you're not part of a government that my taxes help support. Get out. Go! And good luck with your "treatment". I hope your wife has lunch with Lorena Bobbitt. She might have some tips on how to handle something like this.

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