Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Fictional Newsweek

What is wrong with people? I know that's a question that this blog asks more than it answers, but I still want to know. This time, the questionable action in question involves the surprisingly still published Newsweek. And the cover story that they went with in this week of news? Are you ready? If Princess Diana were still alive, she would be turning fifty on Friday. What would she be like? Behold!

Are you freaking kidding me?! First of all, they have her strolling along on the cover next to her daughter-in-law who she never met (and who was something like 11 when Diana smashed into that wall). I don't know why that's a little weird to me, but it is. Fortunately, her headwear apparently withstands the test of time. Silly things on top of your head continue being silly.

But the article (or fable, whatever) goes on to imagine how Princess Diana would be today. The story is written by a one Tina Brown and she apparently envisions a Princess Diana who tweets the Dalai Lama and who has "...a deliriously designed Facebook page" complete with "...another age projection of Diana clutching an iPhone." Of course. An iPhone. God Forbid if the not-dead Princess Diana were to have learned the wonders of the Android operating system or the smartphone awesomeness that is the HTC EVO 4G. (Um, yeah, I might have one. Why?) It continues to speculate without any basis (or point) that "Imaginary Diana has a lofty apartment in New York, a strange but comforting friendship with ex-husband Charles, Prince of Wales, and naturally a front-row next to Victoria Beckham at Fashion Week." Of course. Or not. (Really? She didn't think that she'd still be hanging out with some rich Egyptian dude in Paris? She's just going to plop her down in New York for some reason? Oh, that's right. This is pure fiction with no basis in fact at all, so I guess that the author could have had Diana as some sort of circus performer or Wall Street banker because it doesn't matter!)

How does something like this fit into a magazine called "Newsweek"? It's not news. It is rather, however. Unfortunately, that's not the kind of week that we're talking about here. I didn't know that it was OK for a major publication to run a cover story that is completely made-up and has absolutely no purpose what so ever. Does anyone really care all that much anymore? Yes, yes, it's sad that she met an early, untimely and likely horrific death. But what purpose does imagining what her life would have been like for a news magazine? None. No purpose! However, if they had shown her without that ridiculous hat, perhaps I might have been more on board.

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Mark said...

It appears that the presumption is that she survived the car wreck but emerged with a hubcap fused to her skull.

Mare said...

Mark, that comment almost cost me a keyboard. I came awfully close to spitting out my drink. Hilarious!

~ Mare