Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Yeah, We Know

I have a question. When celebrities or people who are famous or well-known come out and say that they're gay, who is that for? Seriously. Who is that for? It can't be for regular people. It can't even be for irregular people. So who is it for and what's the point?

I ask the above questions because Ricky Martin has come out and said he's gay. (And in a related story, the sun is really, really hot. Back to you.) OK, he didn't use that terminology, exactly. No, what he said (on his blog of all things!) was that “I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.” All right then. It kind of had that feel of former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevy's admission that he was "proud to be a gay American". (I mean that in the sense that the words kind of had the same sort of sound to them. Not that Ricky Martin was governing an eastern state and had been married to a woman when he had an affair with an Israeli national or anything.)

But here's the thing: Ricky Martin says "I'm gay" and everyone else says "We know". Have you seen Ricky Martin? Ever? Yeah, um, he's gay. So who is that for? Why is it done like that? That's my question. It's not like it's just Ricky Martin who is the only one telling everyone something that they already knew (and really didn't give a fat rat's ass about). It's happened repeatedly. Let's take a look at some of the most un-shocking coming outs, shall we?

We'll start with Lance Bass. Gay. Uh-huh. We knew.

Then there was Clay Aiken. "Yes, I'm gay." Yes, we know.

Sean Hayes. Please. Could he be any gayer? Nuh-uh. Is it any wonder he was so good on Will & Grace?

David Hyde Pierce. Yep. Gay.

Figure skater Rudy Galindo. So gay.

Adam Lambert. Shocking. Or not. He's gay.

Martina Navratilova. A good, manly tennis player. Very gay.

Billie Jean King. Another good tennis player. Equally as gay.

Ellen DeGeneres. Still gay.

Rosie O'Donnell. Gay. (And seemingly angry.)

Tell me which one of those you were shocked by. Oh, wait. Let me guess. NONE of them? That's right. Now tell me which one of those really made some sort of difference in your life after they came out? Oh, wait. Let me guess again. NONE of them? That's right, too.

Can't we make some sort of a deal with...well, whatever department would handle the sort of deal I'm about to propose? Can't we make a deal that unless it's going to be a huge bombshell that someone is gay, that we just don't worry about it? (I'd really like to see it not matter all together, but I'll admit that I do enjoy a good bombshell from time to time. I don't want to lose that form of entertainment for myself.)
What would be an example of a bombshell gay announcement. Um, I'd say if either President Barry or his lovely wife, Michelle, came out as gay, that would warrant a little ink in the news. Actually, any former US President who wanted to leap out of the closet would qualify for bombshell. Arnold Schwarzenegger would qualify. Stephen Hawking would qualify (but probably only due to sheer logistics). Vladimir Putin would qualify. (That guy is a man's man if there ever was one. He might be trying to hide something, but I don't think so. I think he's about as straight as one can get. And I'm not just saying that because he'd probably strangle to death anyone who implied otherwise.) People like that would qualify. Ricky Martin? Yeah, not so much.

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Mark said...

I'm 6'9". If I held a press conference to let everyone know I am tall it would be a more surprising revelation than this news.

(Proofreading is your friend.)

Anonymous said...

C'mon, you should at least put Dougie Howser in list of pictures there, especially since he keeps being cast as a straight womanizer.

d said...

Hi Parester

Mare said...

You're 6'9", Mark?! And you say you're tall? Interesting. In what way? =)

Anonymous, you're right. I should have thrown ol' Neil Patrick Harris into the mix. How I overlooked the obvious I'll never know. (It is a bit of irony that the post was about the obvious and that's exactly what I overlooked, though.)

Hi, Dane. Where've you been? I misses you.

~ Mare