Thursday, March 25, 2010

Advertising With Octomom


I've never been a fan of PETA. (Not the bread. That's pita.) They're the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. They're not the People for Ethical behavior That is not Abhorrent. No, that's not them. They feel the need to always have some sort of 'shocking' method for getting people to pay attention to them and their 'cause'. If I had to guess whether they've done more to further their cause or whether they've done more to garner attention for themselves, I'd have to go with the latter. And their latest stunt pretty much demonstrates just that.

I'm sure that you're well aware of the insufferable Nadya Suleman, aka the Octomom. As you may or may not care to remember (but which your tax dollars are none the less being used to support) Suleman was the single mother with six children born from petri dishes who then went ahead and had herself impregnated once again, only to find herself carrying a litter of eight children for a grand total of fourteen. That's right. No husband. No job. No money. Fourteen children. And no freaking sense.

Since she is not currently working due to the taking care of the population of her small village (and the fact that she seems to be mentally unstable in more ways than I care to count at the moment), she is in need of cash. It seems that she garners her income by selling pictures of her lips and her brood to various tabloid media publications. (I cannot imagine how that is profitable for those magazines. Do that many people really have that much interest in her? If I think about it too much, it totally zaps my WTL. Will To Live.) But for some reason, that income isn't enough to support fourteen children (go figure) and so she is currently in danger of losing her house in La Habra, CA, so sayeth Popeater.com.

But what does that have to do with PETA, you ask (provided you read 'Octomom' and continued reading)? Apparently, PETA has "...negotiated a deal with (her) that allows them to post a PETA sign in her front yard trumping the value of spaying or neutering pets." Um, wait. What now?

Correct. PETA is paying the awful individual that is Nadya Suleman (I can barely stomach the 'Octomom' moniker) cash money to put a sign in her front yard that says "Don't let your dog or cat become an 'octomom'." Of course, those words are accompanied by a picture of a splayed out feline which is feeding a pile of hungry offspring. What. The. Hell.


According to the folks over there at OC Weekly, PETA sent a letter to Suleman and her attorney (because everyone with fourteen children needs an attorney to sort through these matters) which read, in part, "In light of recent reports that you may be facing foreclosure on your home, we'd like to offer to bolster your finances by paying to place an ad (enclosed) on your front lawn." Uh, OK. But, seriously, a placard on her lawn? How much is that even worth? A few hundred bucks? (I, of course, am speaking completely hypothetically and in a world where something like this even makes sense. It's not worth a freaking dime and we all know it.) Well, if you were thinking along those same lines as me, you're going to be rather surprised.

The letter closes out with, "Taking us up on our offer is a win-win situation: It would help you and your children to keep your home and also reduce the number of homeless dogs and cats." It what? It will help her keep her home? Let's just do some hypothetical math on this, shall we? A home in La Habra isn't cheap. Let's say a monthly mortgage payment is $2,000. In order to be in foreclosure, let's just say that she's missed six months worth of payments. That's a total of $12,000. You're telling me that her allowing the PETA folks to stick a sign in her front yard is going to net her thousands of dollars?! Hey! All of you nutjobs that actually donate money to PETA! Is that how you want your money being spent? In an advertising partnership with a mentally ill breeding sow?

By the way, the least ridiculous part of this is that there are only six kittens (from what I could count) in that picture that they're using. Clearly, math isn't their strong point and neither is accounting if they're paying this whack-a-do broad enough money to save her house from foreclosure! If they're giving out thousands of dollars to place advertising signs in individual's front yards, I am officially making it known that I am available! You want to pay me thousands of dollars to stick some sign in front of the moat at my walled off compound (to protect me from morons like PETA and Suleman), have at it. You can even make it say anything you want! I don't care! Just give me the twelve grand.

You want the sign to say "The owner of this compound participated in daily S&M sessions with Bob Barker. Have your pets spayed or neutered."? Go for it. That'll be twelve grand, please. That's absolutely ridiculous. But what might be more ridiculous is the amount of money that PETA must have if they can pull a stunt like this. Why can't I come up with an ingenious way for stupid people to give me all of their money? Why??

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3 comments:

Mark said...

"In an advertising partnership with a mentally ill breeding sow?"

I think Suleman is insane, but this is a little over the top, even for you. A sow can provide for her children.

Scott Jacobs said...

"Why can't I come up with an ingenious way for stupid people to give me all of their money? Why??"

Because you have something not unlike a soul - it's hard to separate idiots from their money when you have a sense of right and wrong.

Mare said...

Mark,

You're right. I apologize for speaking ill of the sow. A breeding sow is in a much higher category than Suleman.

And Scott,

You, too, are correct. Damn my sense of right and wrong! That pesky soul of mine is always getting in the way!

~ Mary