No Senators Needed

Recently, there have been at least a couple of incidents (which is at least a couple too many) of elderly passengers going through airport security and being strip searched. And I'm pretty sure that we can all agree that this is just absolutely asinine. That 85-year old woman in Florida who is getting on a plane to New Hampshire or wherever she was going is NOT a terrorist. She's not. I know it. You know it. But do you know who doesn't know it? Some jackass at the TSA. That is correct.

And now, of course, a couple of senators feel the need to get involved in all of this in the most idiotic way ever. According to MSNBC, U.S. Sen. Charles Schumer and state Sen. Michael Gianaris (both D-umbasses) "...want to place a passenger advocate at airports to immediately act on complaints from passengers about security screenings." What? Why?

Here's an idea: How about if the TSA DOES NOT hire idiots? How about if the TSA immediately FIRES anyone who is stupid enough to make an 85-year old woman in a wheelchair take off her pants and underpants? How about THAT? And how about if those senators stay the hell out of this? This has nothing to do with them. They're senators. That doesn't mean that they get to get involved in anything and everything that might be occurring in the country at any given time. (If you have no earthly idea as to what I could be referring to, please see all of the Congressional hearings regarding steroid use in baseball.)

I'd really like to know how these mouth breathers manage to keep their jobs after strip searching an 85-year old woman. Geez. Good work if you can get it, I suppose. And as much as I dislike the TSA and their refusal to hire people who understand what their job actually is (Here's a hint: It is not to subject elderly people who are obviously not terrorists to strip searches.), the last thing that we need to do is to have Congress get involved. And I'm pretty sure that they have things that are a little more Congress-y to do and keep them busy without their butting into this TSA business.

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Security Gropes Explained

Worried about flying somewhere for Thanksgiving? Not sure how to feel about getting groped by the TSA? Luckily, there's this handy video (who I must thank my friend, Julie, for posting on Facebook, otherwise I would still be in the dark about all of the procedures) to let you know what to expect when you're expecting to get felt up. You're welcome.

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Is The Groping Worth It

Way too many news stories focusing on the new TSA searches and pat downs. Way too many stories about people who are not happy with the more invasive body searches down by TSA employees. Way too many stories about the upcoming royal wedding. (Seriously. Does anyone really care about that sort of thing anymore? We were all duped into feeling like we should have given a fat rat's ass when Chuck married Di and look how that turned out.) But there aren't near enough stories about what the new TSA searches are supposed to accomplish.

All I read about is how passengers hate them. I have yet to read if they actually do any good. Now, maybe you have more faith in the TSA than I do and think that of course they do some good. But do they really? Seriously, the United States seems to be a bit reactionary whenever it comes to air travel regulations. Some guy tries to blow up a plane with his shoe? Next thing you know, we're all taking our shoes off. Some guy tried to put together a liquid bomb in mid air? Next thing you know, we can't take more than three ounces of any liquid on a plane. (No one has ever explained why three was the magic number in that instance. No, instead they just settled upon three and that's the way it has been ever since.) It's like there has to be an attempt first and then the policy will be fashioned. I'm not so sure that's the best way to go about this.

Here's the thing: All of these more invasive searches that they've been doing lately? Yeah. Those. Tell me, would they have been able to stop, say, the Grundle Bomber? You might also know him as the Underwear Bomber. Can they see stuff like that? I don't know. The reason why I don't know is that no one has answered that question. I'm guessing that they probably couldn't do much about something like that, but that's purely a guess based upon the little faith that I have in most government operations.

If the TSA would just come out and explain why these extra measures are necessary, perhaps some of the uproar would die down. The bottom line is that we all want to be safe, but we don't necessarily want to be groped by a stranger in order to be safe. And mind you, so far, none of the implements that have been, well, implemented have thwarted anything. Not one thing. All failed attempts haven't been taken down by the TSA. No, all failed attempts have been taken down in the air by other passengers. So, I'm not sure how feeling up my breasts, no matter how soft and supple they may be, is going to help thwart future attacks...especially since I'm not a terrorist.

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