You Can't Be Expected To Read This!

We're in luck! Fortunately, it doesn't look as if Congress is going to be able to vote on the Health Care Reform Bill before they break for the summer or a month or whatever it is that they do. Take time off to shed their skin, I'm not sure, but it seems as if there's going to be a little bit more time to fully wrap our collective melons around this thing and see what's what.

Now that's easier said than done. And that is because for some reason these bills are wrote in such a way that you almost need a secret decoder ring to figure out what in the hell they say. It really doesn't help that they are wrote on a regular sheet of paper, but in one column going down the middle of the page with margins that are at LEAST two inches on each side. It's only 8-1/2 inches wide! If you take two inches off of each side, why, that's only 4-1/2 inches of width for which to write one's misleading legislation. And it really makes it that much more difficult to read. Well, attempt to read. Have you SEEN this thing? As it stands, it's over a THOUSAND pages right now! I swear Behold! (And Click here)

And let me just tell you, there is something in there for everyone. I made a full three-quarter ass effort (which is a step up from just a half-ass effort that you'll get on most blogs!) to try and read a few things here and there. Mostly I just looked at pages that other people had cited as being (and I'm paraphrasing here) "the pages of doom" or "stuff that will literally kill us if this passes". All I figured out is that an awful lot of people tend to use data found floating around on the Internet and never once stop to fact check a couple of the items for themselves. They seem to be perfectly all right with the notion of "It's on the Internet, so it MUST be true!"

I didn't have to look very far with this H.R. 3200, aka "America's Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009" to find some entertainment. If this doesn't concern you, please wear a helmet to protect that soft, soft head of yours. Here we go...this was found on PAGE ONE! Ahem....

"A BILL To provide affordable, quality health care for all Americans and reduce the growth in health care spending, and for other purposes." Huh?

"And for other purposes"? What the hell does that mean? They're not going to TELL me what the "other purposes" are? Why not? I think I need to know that! Are the "other purposes" related to health care? Or are they going to be like the big ass TARP bill or stimulus bill or some other bill that is taking all of our money where they just shoved earmark after earmark in that thing and it still sailed right on through! What are the "other purposes"? Implement Communism? Every third week in January, the President will be known as "The King"? For the purposes of square dance instructions? You have 1017 pages! Could you not have been more specific?!

This bill reads as if all of the ideas that anyone had ever (in the history of time and space) had and loaded them all onto an iPod and then set the iPod for "Shuffle" and as the ideas came spewing out of the iPod in some random fashion they were just placed in the bill in that order. It would also appear that the same "iPod Legislative Bill Shuffle Method" is how the contents of those ideas were constructed, as they're about as convoluted as the order in which they're laid out.

But COULD something like that get passed? Even if it sucks? Sure it could. And not just because your Congressional representatives are morons! Oh, of course that's always part of it, but in this case, it might very well be most of it.

Enter a one Rep. John Conyers, D-Mich. Mr. Conyers is the Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee. I don't know exactly what they do, but you'd have to think that he DOES know what they do, wouldn't you? Well, you WOULD think that...if you were incredibly soft-headed and believed everything that just "made sense". Idiot. Let's see what your impression of Mr. Conyers is after I give you an excerpt of a talk that he was giving to the National Press Club regarding the "America's Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009". “I love these members who stand up and say, ‘Read the bill!'. What good is reading the bill if it's a thousand pages and...and you don't have two days and two lawyers to find out what it means after you read the bill?” Um, wait. What?

What good is reading the bill? Uh, so you know what's IN it? So you know whether you should vote FOR it or AGAINST it? So you can make a decision as to what would best serve the people that you represent? What good is it? How long do you have, Mr. Conyers? (Oh. Just saw what this dude looks like. "Not long" might be the answer to that question. Whoops.)

Do you know WHY it is over a thousand pages?! Because YOU and your constituents MADE it over a thousand pages! And by the way, isn't READING the bill what your DAMN JOB IS?!?! How about you DO your damn job and you ask questions about WHY you're doing it AFTER you've done it? Yo, Michigan! You elected this guy?? Multiple times?! WHY?? Please don't do it again or we'll just have to annex your entire state. (Oh, don't panic. It's only until the island is ready for all of the Michigan residents to be shipped off to.)

How can you vote on something when you have NO idea what it says? It could say that, in order to promote more healthy living, every citizen will be required to purchase and consume three bags of carrots every week for the next two years. It could say that we're changing the national anthem to Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me". It could say that we're eliminating February as a month altogether and just extending the other 11 months to make up the difference. You don't know!! And you WON'T know unless you read the damn bill!

(Seriously, Michigan! WHY??)

If I thought for a second that this was the only idiot in Congress that felt this way, I might be a little more comforted just by that thought. But he's not. I know it. You know it. There are others. Take a one Steny Hoyer D-MD. According to Politico.com, a conservative group called Let Freedom Ring "is circulating a petition asking House members to commit to reading every bill, all the way through, every jot and tittle — which no one did on the rushed-through stimulus". In early July, Mr. Hoyer was asked if he would support a pledge which would essentially be members of Congress committing that they will actually read the bill before voting on it and that they will make the bill available for the public to look it over for 72 hours before they're supposed to vote. His response? He laughed. And he laughed. And he laughed. Finally, he spoke.

“I'm laughing because I don't know how long this bill is going to be, but it's going to be a very long bill...If every member pledged not to vote for it if they hadn't read it in its entirety I think we would have very few votes.” Um, well. That's a little clearer. Anything to add to that?

“Members, clearly — and staff and review boards, they read them in their entirety. They go over it with members, and members read substantial portions of the bill themselves.” Substantial portions? I think you need to have a substantial portion of your ass booted out of there. (A move that, ironically, would give him plenty of time to read the bills.)

So if there's stuff that you aren't going to like in any of these bills that Congress comes up with, you're going to have to read them to find it out for yourself, because you clearly can't count of these guys representing your best interests. Video below of Mr. Conyers not reading the bills. Ugh. What say while they're all on their recess for August that we change all of the locks on the Capitol building so they're locked out when they return?

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You'll Never Forget A Face

Look, dealing with the death of a loved one is hard enough, OK? It's just that death is so...so...final. And trying to come to grips with the fact that you'll never look that person in the face again is a really hard concept to deal with and accept. But fret not! Your problem (that you didn't know you even had) has been solved! That's right! Forget about "never" looking the dearly departed in the face again! Instead, have their ashes interred inside of a personal urn! Behold!

Good Lord, what the hell is that?! THAT is a personal urn, made possible by the folks over there at

Cremation Solutions (Tomorrows Traditions). (They also claim to be "Your complete Source for Scattering Urns and Accessories". And if you're like me, I know you're thinking, "Finally! A scattering source for ME!" Just be thankful it's complete, unlike all of those other incomplete ones that are popping up like weeds everywhere.)

According to the website "Cremation Solutions strives to support the people who choose cremation." And apparently the "support" that those folks need is an urn that looks like a human head. Go figure.


It's explained like this:

"Never forget a face." (Well I should say not! It'd be kind of difficult with the HEAD sitting there on the mantle, just staring at you throughout Wheel of Fortune!)

"Personal urns are a new and exciting way to memorialize your loved one." (New? Oh, hell yes! Exciting? Define "exciting". Watching people scream in horror and run out of the room upon seeing what appears to be the severed head of the dearly departed? Well, that COULD be "exciting", this is true. But I'm not so sure that's exactly the word I'm looking for here. Perhaps "different" or "conversation starter" would be more appropriate. "Friend disappear-er" might be another.)



"Now we can create a custom urn in the image of your loved one or favorite celebrity or hero." (The "favorite celebrity or hero" part disturbs me. Why would someone want to do that? Your fat uncle Alfred dies and so you put him in Marilyn Monroe's head? That doesn't seem right. It kind of feels like you're sticking it to uncle Alfred. Even if he really, really liked Marilyn Monroe, I don't think that putting his remains inside of a replica of her head is showing a lot of reverence for the dead. It's definitely not showing a lot of reverence for Marilyn Monroe. But what about the "hero" part? Like....super? They can make me a Batman head? With the pointy ears? AND the mask? Or are they just talking "hero" like Sully Sullenberger (with or without pointy ears and mask)? Maybe Greatest American Hero? I really have no idea, but I find it odd that anyone would want any of this at all, let alone a head that doesn't look like the one that the loved one was accustomed to using.)

"This is the most heart warming and special memorial product available anywhere" (Again, I believe the word they are looking for is "different". I can't attest to the "heart warming" part of the claim either. Heart palpitating, perhaps. Heart stopping? In some cases, who knows?)

"Available in Two Sizes" (Regular and melon? Oh, but I kid! There's the regular "head-sized" head and then there's the "keepsake-sized" head. I'm picturing the keepsake-sized one to be something bigger than a Pez dispenser and smaller than a Mr. Potato Head (which, incidentally, this is reminding me a LOT of!).

Now, if you're looking at that and you're thinking, "But my loved one wasn't bald!", fret not! That's because "Personal urns come with a bare scalp ready for a suitable wig, which we can provide." They don't say if they can provide a wig that will resemble the hair of the deceased individual or if they'll have a few different ones to choose from, a la Phil Spector, or if they're just giving everyone the same hairpiece. I'm hoping that it's a bit more custom than a "one size fits all" approach. That could stall sales.

The hair part is a bit confusing (as if the rest of this is very straightforward!) as in an article over at The Metro it states that "No hair or wig is provided, but the US-based firm offer to "digitally add hair if you wish". What does that mean exactly? Add the hair "digitally"? How are they going to do that? Laser it on? Print out a picture of some hair and tape it on the head? That doesn't make sense.

"A plaque and nameplate are also available." All right, I'm picturing one of those "Hello My Name Is" tags! I can't help it! It's because of the head!

I suppose that if this is the sort of thing that you really want, then have it. My thought on the whole death thing is that y'all grieve however you want to. Doesn't matter how odd or crazy or strange it may seem, if that's what helps, so freaking be it. But I'll tell you this: It seems just a little bit closer to the next seemingly inevitable step. That's right. Human taxidermy. Ew. No one wants that. Do they?

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$100 Million Little Cuts

I wouldn't normally think that a headline in The Wall Street Journal would be so snippy that it would make me laugh, but that's exactly what happened when I read: "In a Savings Shocker, the Government Discovers The Paper Has Two Sides". The subtitle was equally as amusing, as it read: "Front-and-Back Copies, Other Wonders Help Agencies Save $102 Million". Of course, I was enjoying myself far too much, which is why I suspect that they threw in this last part of the subtitle in order to jolt me back into my usual surly state: ".006% of Deficit". And it was going so well, too. Morons. But more on that later.

Here's the scoop: According to CBS News, back in April, President Barry "...challenged his Cabinet to find ways to trim the budget." And perhaps coincidentally, he did so on the 20th, which happens to be Adolf Hitler's birthday. (Hey, I'm just sayin' is all. You do the math.) He was asking for the departments to find ways to cut a total of at least $100 million from the budget. In a rare show of efficiency, they were actually able to find those $100 million in cuts AND managed to find another "$243 million through 2010 and even more in years after that." Well that didn't seem so hard, did it?! All you had to do was ASK! Sheesh! Come on, do you really think it was THAT easy for the government, THE GOVERNMENT, to find ways to cut $100 million from their spending? It must have been grueling! Because as we all know, the government tries to run its operations at the most efficient spending level possible with a minimal amount of waste and redundancy, right? Why are you laughing? (Hey! Did that guy faint when I said that?! Crap, I was hoping to be up to 10 readers by now. SO close! Way to go, dude.)

Over on the White House website, they have the list of all of the cuts that were found to be possible to make. Let's take a look at some of the areas which were discovered to not have been functioning at the most fiscally sound levels, shall we? Here we go....

- The Department of Justice will save an estimated $4 million in FY 2010 by requiring personnel to make their travel arrangements online, rather than relying on travel agents. ::: blink ::: ::: blink ::: Travel agents? They were using travel agents? To book their flights on zeppelins? Tell me, when they went to book their itineraries with said travel agents, did they get in touch with them via two cans and a string? Who uses travel agents? Oh, that's right. Organizations such as the state of California still use travel agents. How's their fiscal situation looking? That's right, about as good as the moral situation of their state legislature - damn near bankrupt.

- The Forest Service will no longer repaint its new, white vehicles green immediately upon purchase. They're going to wait awhile instead. Um, couldn't they just BUY green ones to begin with? Is there a shortage of green vehicles in the automotive industry? Given their dire straits, you wouldn't think there would be. That's odd.

- The National Telecommunications and Information Administration is, among other things, going to "establish moratoria on unnecessary office renovations and office supply purchases". And while I commend them for identifying both of these as areas where waste can be reduced, I'm curious as to what SORT of office renovations will be deemed "unnecessary". I'd also like to know why "office supplies" that were unnecessary were being purchased in the first place. (I'd really like to know the KIND of unnecessary office supplies that were being purchased. I mean, if you don't need it in your office, why order it? My guess? Printer ink cartridges, which conveniently fit the home printers of several office employees as well. Allegedly.)

- They apparently weren't able to make much of a difference in the Redundant Department of Redundancy Division, as the Renovations Department "will save $131,000 by placing a moratorium on unnecessary office renovations in FY 2009." So the Renovations Department will be cutting back on renovations. Clever.

- Along those same lines, Over there in the Department of Homeland Security, the Equipment and Maintenance Department is planning to realize efficiencies and savings related to equipment and maintenance. Brilliant. They're BRILLIANT!

- FEMA's innovative, cost cutting measures? Instead of just THROWING AWAY 120,000 temporary housing units (ie, Katrina trailers), they're going to find other uses for them OR sell them. And again I say, BRILLIANT!

- HUD is going to (wait for it) "reduce HUD's energy consumption by turning off lights during non-working hours, and centralizing the power management of personal computers (PCs)." ::: sigh ::: God, we're a dumb, dumb nation.

- Taking a cue from HUD is the Department of Justice. "Many DOJ computers remain on when not in use for prolonged periods. DOJ is configuring these computers to automatically shut-down, which will reduce power consumption and costs." The DOJ is also "streamlining its process for paying credit card bills, saving an estimated $2 million annually." Wait. Does that mean we've been paying LATE FEES for the DOJ credit card bills?? DO you KNOW what the interest rate is on those things?! What is WRONG with you people? Late credit card payments! Lights on! Computers on! Office supplies up the wazoo!

- They also discovered that "A large number of DOJ copiers and printers can be configured to automatically print double-sided. Increasing the frequency of double-sided printing will reduce paper consumption and lower costs." And thus, the Wall Street Journal's headline was born!

- The Treasury Department will be shutting off computers when they're not being used and they will also not be running the air conditioning during the evening and on weekends. You know, when there's NO ONE THERE! (See? I learn stuff like that and that is why every time I hear some politician talking about the damned ozone layer and global warming I want to hang myself. They can't even turn off the freaking lights when they go home for the weekend, but I'M supposed to be composting my own feces in order to save the planet?! I don't think so.)

- I also learned about some seemingly antiquated ways that our government has of performing certain tasks. Take over there at the Treasury Department again. "Treasury has implemented an initiative to recycle used material...Treasury will shred classified materials into blocks to be used for recycling in lieu of burning." What now?

What was that last part? After recycling? In lieu of BURNING?!?! What the hell?! Burning?! Are you telling me that all of this time, as I picture folks standing around a big mound of papers with the office pages squirting starter fluid all over the piles, and someone (probably wearing a jungle mask, grass skirt and waving a couple of chicken bones around) strikes that match to throw it on the mound and ignite the documents (probably to protect national security and other, um, stuff), no one EVER thought, "Does this seem right? Couldn't we be doing something other than BURNING all of this crap?" No? Not until now, eh? Just kept right on keeping on with all of the burning, did ya? Interesting. Please see my earlier comments about how I twist off whenever I hear the words "global warming" uttered.

I kept waiting to read that they were going to dismantle ICE, being as how it doesn't do much in the first place, but I never did. It was odd. (Oh, but I kid! Relax! They do a fine job! Of welcoming people from other lands into our country.)

Granted, when I read about some of the cuts, I couldn't help but wonder if they could have cut just a BIT further. Take for example, the training that goes on within Animal and Plant Health Inspection Services. They found that they can cut back on face-to-face trainings and instead use conference calls to save money. They says that they've used this method "to train new staff in Asia on its Offshore Pest Information program." And my question is "Do we NEED an Offshore Pest Information Program? They're offshore! It's right there in the name! Why do I care about the pest's information? Let 'em keep it and let me keep my money!" (There was a question in there somewhere, right? Oh, sure! There it is. Whew! Sometimes I get a bit caught up in the moment, I forget what I had originally intended.)

And then there's NOAA. Man, they cleaned house over there. The summary of their cuts is: "The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) proposes to save $1.5 million over FY 2009-10 by reducing conferences and other non-critical travel, revising existing training programs to focus on in-house seminars and virtual programs, consolidating purchases of office supplies and minor equipment purchases, terminating non-safety renovations at NOAA headquarters, reviewing program administration and information technology support contracts for efficiencies, setting paperwork usage standards, and converting to electronic signatures." (I have an inside source over there at NOAA and from what I can tell, all of these things are a pretty good place to start.)

But that part about the cuts being only ".006% of the deficit"? That makes me insane. And it is a perfect example of why I suspect that the government, at all levels, has a difficult time with the concept of things like "budgetary means" and "savings" and "cost cutting". For some reason, unless the cuts and the savings are monumental (you know, like their spending plans) then they are somehow less meaningful than if they did wipe out the national debt in the blink of an eye. (Just the one eye though. The other one was lost during one of those "eye for an eye" fiascoes.) I don't care if it was .001% of the deficit. It's something!

And you could tell that they weren't even trying very hard to come up with those cost cutting measures. Those seemed to be pretty obvious to me. (Come on! Printing on BOTH sides of the paper?! How long did it take them to noodle that one through and come up with a solution?) Imagine how much of OUR money could be saved if they actually tried to find ways to really cut down on costs?

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Happy Birthday to All of Us

All right, this is going to have to suffice for today, as I am now :::sniff::: too damn old and will be spending the rest of the day curled up in a ball in a corner somewhere, weeping softly and waiting for sweet, sweet death to take me away.

Who am I kidding? I'm too drunk to write much more than this. Woo-hoo! Happy Birthday to Me!

Actually, I've done a bit of reading about August 2nd. If you go by the annals of history it would appear that August 2nd is just ripe for war and death and destruction. I'm not quite sure if I'm supposed to work on changing that or just go with the flow. Changing it seems like too much work and I'm old and tired. Status quo it is then.

• 1990 - Iraq invades Kuwait
  
• 1985 - Delta Flight 191 crashes in Dallas, killing 137
  
• 1980 - A bomb explodes at a train station in Italy, killing 85 and wounding more than 200
  
• 1973 - A flash fire in the Isle of Man at the Summerland amusement park kills 51
  
• 1968 - On the very day and very year that I was born, the Casiguran Earthquake strikes the Philippines and kills more than 270 and wounds 261. It's as if someone said to me, "Welcome to the world. You're going to die a violent and horrific death."
  
  

It only gets worse before 1968. More war. More troops. More death. It's a wonder half of us were even born at all, if you think about it. Oh, here are some other glorious highlights of this day:

• Albert Einstein writes a letter to FDR in 1939 urging him to develop a nuclear weapon


• The Marijuana Tax Act of 1937 passes, rendering marijuana illegal in the US (This really had no effect on me at all. Especially in college.)
  
• Albert Einstein urges all scientists to refuse military work in 1931



• The first US Census is conducted in 1790
  
• And my personal favorite: In 1934, Adolf Hitler becomes Fuhrer of Germany. Ach!
  
  
  

Nice. No marijuana but plenty of Nazis on this day. Grand. There isn't really anyone all that interesting born on this day (other than myself and that's questionable. The interesting part, that is. I'm relatively sure I entered on the 2nd.) There are a few that...well...someone might know who they are, though. Maybe. With hints.

• Mary-Louise Parker, born in 1964 (You know, the actress chick. She was in...um, well...oh! Weeds. There it is. Yeah, her.)
  
  
  
• Wes Craven, born in 1939 (The director guy who makes creepy movies like Hellraiser.)
  
  
• Carroll O'Connor, born in 1924 (Yes. Archie Bunker. Great.)



• Lance Ito, born in 1950 (Judge Ito! From the OJ trial! Right on! At least it wasn't that crying Seidlin guy from the Anna Nicole custody hearings.)
  
  
  

That's who was born. Now, who died? (I swear, I better not be on this list.)

• Warren G. Harding in 1923 (29th President of the US)
  
  
• Shari Lewis in 1998 (The puppeteer who always had her hand up Lambchop's ass.)
  
  
  
• Alexander Graham Bell in 1922 (Made us all want to reach out and touch someone. With or without a phone.)
  
  
• Wild Bill Hickok in 1876 (Shot in the back of the head while playing poker. As an avid poker player, that's not overly comforting.)
  
  

Well, it's a pretty mello day for those being born or those croaking on this day. Not so mello for the death and destruction aspect of it all. But the rest? Fairly calm and boring.

Oh, and Happy 17th Birthday to my cousin, whose birthday also happens to be today. And Happy Birthday to Renee, because about 9 years ago, I told you that, since we had the same birthday, you'd always know that at least one other person was thinking about you on that day, even if you felt like no one gave a fat rat's ass. (Incidentally, I'll be doing the same thing.)

So let's see if I can go the rest of the day without adding to the list of death and destruction that occurs on this day. If this blog abruptly stops, you know that I was largely unsuccessful. Now...where's my beer?

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Not Giving Birth, but Having a Cow Instead

What's up with political groups or subsets of politicians being branded with (or promoting themselves as ) some cutesy little name? Has this been occurring for a while and I've just been able to tune it out until now? Or is this new? Whichever it is, the names are lame and the folks behind the names are often lamer. Seriously. Names such as the oft mentioned "Blue Dog Coalition" in the House of Representatives. That group had sort of evolved from the "Boll Weevils Group". Who in the hell names themselves the "Boll Weevils Group"? Aren't boll weevils those little beetle like things with poke-y ends on 'em? That's what you want your group to be associated with? As politicians?! What's up with that? Was Ladybug's Picnic already taken?

But of the groups with the ridiculous names, there's one that I cannot avoid hearing about no matter how hard I try (and believe me, I've TRIED!). Not only that, they have a cause that is just as non-sensible as their name is. Yes, I'm speaking of those nutjobs who have all joined together to form the largest mass of malfunctioning cerebral matter on the planet; those that we call 'The Birthers'.

I realize that it's very easy to get "The Birthers" confused with other names that might sound a lot like it. Like "The Idiots" or "The Morons" or "Too Much Time On Your Hands". It's very easy to misspeak and use one of those terms when the term that you were really looking for was "The Birthers". So if it keeps on happening to you, if you keep on saying "idiots" instead of "Birthers", just keep at it because you MAY actually get it someday. But if you don't, well, at least you're accurate.

The Birthers are not folks who have given birth, as the name might (and DOES) seem to suggest. No, the Birthers are folks who believe that President Barry, President Barack Hussein Obama, is not, repeat NOT a "natural born citizen" of this country, the good ol' US of A, and is thus not eligible to be our President. Um, wait. For reals?

Yep. For reals. According to the Political Hotsheet over there at CBS News, the whole thing started when President Barry was running for President. I'm guessing it was an offshoot movement to the whole "He might be a Muslim" tangent a bunch of softheaded folks became sidetracked with. So in an attempt to quell the fakeroversy that the Birthers had kicked up amongst themselves, Candidate Barry produced his certificate of live birth showing that he was born in Hawaii on August 4, 1961. Behold!

OK, so that's that right? Let's go home. What? That's not good enough? For whom? For whom is it not good enough? Well, for the Birthers, that's who. They say that his "birth certificate" isn't a "birth certificate" at all and that it's faked. The Birthers continue to (incorrectly) assert that he was really born in Kenya and that the document that is purported to be his "birth certificate" is really a faked up document. And that, my friends, is a pretty serious charge for someone to level. You'd think that someone would look into all of this controversy (er, FAKE controversy, ie, fakeroversy) that these Birther people stirred up and finally get to the bottom of this. What's that?

They DID? When? Numerous times, is the answer to that question. And it is not just the Obama Administration that has been claiming that President Barry is a citizen of the United States. Other groups have researched this and came to the same conclusion, that President Barry IS a citizen of the United States. FactCheck.org wrote a very well researched piece on this topic almost a year ago and yet the Birthers are STILL howling that he is not a citizen! It's almost inexplicable why, not just nutjobs are buying into this ridiculous theory, but it's being given steam AND airtime by folks who (previously) had credibility. Not sure where their credibility stands AFTER they've made it seem like there is ANY possibility that President Barry is NOT a citizen. It's really hard to find someone to be credible when they're just blowing crap like that around. Those if I were having to choose one reason as to why this continues to be an issue that sane people are made to listen to, I'd have to side with Donny Deutsch's reasoning as to why so many doubt Obama's citizenship: "Maybe because they're morons." Well said, sir. Well. Said.

Never mind that Honolulu health director Dr. Chiyome Fukino has said that "she personally seen and verified that the Hawaii State Department of Health has Sen. Obama’s original birth certificate on record in accordance with state policies and procedures." Never mind that there was a "birth announcement that had been published in the Honolulu Advertiser on Sunday, Aug. 13, 1961." And never mind that there IS a birth certificate EVEN THOUGH the title of the document is Certificate of Live Birth, IT'S THE SAME THING!

Pretty much, it's the announcement of the birth in the Honolulu Paper that really should have ended this whole thing as soon as that was produced. Because if THAT is faked as well, then what are you Birther people saying? Are you saying that almost 48 years ago, President Barry's mother and father placed a fake ad in the newspaper, announcing the birth of their son Barack, as to have it appear as if he were born in the United States. And they would do this because they just wanted to cover all of their bases just in CASE, SOME DAY far, far into the future, some suspicious sole would be looking for this very information to confirm their theory that the one they called Barry was born a US citizen. Meanwhile, the secret that the prodigal baby would carry with him for the rest of his life would stay hidden and the rest of their plan would slowly fall into place. And then one day it would all be worth it. That day would be the day on which this half white, half black, Kenyan born baby would be elected President of the United States. Just like they'd planned! Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!!!!!!!

Honestly, do you people HEAR yourselves when you're spewing this stuff out? And you're able to sleep at night? I don't get it. What's the point? So that you can run around and think that you know something that the rest of us don't? Guess what? We know something that YOU don't! Actually, we know TWO things that you don't! We know that President Barry is a citizen of the United States AND we know that you're freaking crazy. Congratulations, Jerome Corsi! You're the jackass who got this whole ball rolling which, in turn, happened to get you a book deal and numerous TV and radio appearances for you to spew your ridiculousness and promote yourself. Huh. Upon further review, it would seem that you had immense help in getting this to the forefront where it currently tries to creep backward into the forgotten abyss of yesterday's news.

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