Boring Predictions From 1910

Currently, I am in possession of a laptop that is not my regular computer. Unfortunately, this laptop does not seem to have an overly functional spacebar. And it's making me crazy. The backspace key is getting quite the workout. Therefore, I'm going to attempt to save my sanity and cut this short today. Below are some drawings that are allegedly from the year 1910 and they depict what the world in the year 2000 was imagined it would be like. I must say, they weren't very creative back then. It's a wonder we've progressed as far as we have, really. I mean, if that's what ninety years of progress looked like to them at the time, could you imagine how blown away they'd be with all of the stuff that has actually been accomplished and invented?! Don't get me wrong. I'm pretty sure that people are dooming themselves as a species these days. But at least we won't be going down in a boring fashion. (Click on the image below to make it bigger. (That's what she said.) And if I knew who to credit for these designs, I would absolutely do so. But I really have no idea who drew them, nor where they first appeared. If you happen to know, please relay that information to me so that I can give appropriate credit and not appear like some thieving Internet plagiarist. I've been called a lot of things, and most of them were probably pretty accurate. But one thing that I am not is a thief and/or a plagiarist. Even I have standards.)

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Happy Everybody Draw Muhammed Day

Look, I'm not an overly political activist-y type of person. But if I can make some sort of a stand whilst sitting from the comfort of my walled-off compound, I'll think about it. And today, I've decided to sit here in front of my computer and take a stand.

Today is "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day". According to the self-proclaimed fair and balanced folks over there at Fox News, "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day" was the brainchild of a one cartoonist from Seattle, Molly Norris. Molly was appalled (as anyone else who values the freedom of speech and expression should have been) at Comedy Central's decision about a month ago to censor an episode of South Park which showed the prophet, Muhammed, in a bear suit. Wait. In a....?

Correct. In a bear suit. See, it's apparently against some sort of Muslim or Islamic tenet to depict the prophet Muhammed at all. And so even though he was in a bear suit, that was enough for a bunch of tools over at something called RevolutionMuslim.com to post a message which read “We have to warn Matt and Trey that what they are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show…This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them.” I see. (By the way, Theo Van Gogh ended up dead in the street. Oh, but it's not a threat.)

You know, they can say it's not a threat, but it certainly sounds very threat-ish to me. You know, radical Muslims or Muslim extremists or whatever you want to call them sure do get awfully riled up over cartoons. Wow. And of course, their solution is to just kill people who don't agree with them. Yeah, that seems perfectly normal. Or not.

Molly explained that she had felt "...that Viacom or Comedy Central had overreacted to a veiled threat from a tiny blog or website that not many people even belong to, and I think it just set a precedent for a slippery slope in censorship." She also said that "If artists have to be afraid of what they draw, then what’s the point of even living here? That's what really bothered me." Good point.

Her solution (since we're really kind of grasping at straws with how to handle nutjobs that can't be reasoned with because they justify all of their actions as being under the guise of some sort of religion that sanctions their killing anyone who breaks rules that they don't even have to follow) was that if the market was saturated with images of Muhammed then it would be a demonstration of some sort of solidarity by people who "....will not be intimidated or silenced by those who want to subjugate us simply because they find what we do offensive." I couldn't agree more.

Look, if you've ever watched an episode of South Park for more than a few minutes, you know how ridiculous it is for a group to issue a veiled death threat over some dude in a bear suit (some dude, by the way, who isn't even real as it's a freaking cartoon!). There are FAR more things that are FAR more offensive to get yourself all worked up over. Seriously. I watched an episode last night that had me cringing at times. I'm just going to say that there were gerbils involved and leave it at that. Well, and I wanted to stab my eyes out before it was over. (You can click here if you want to know more. But I'm warning you, that episode should have been rated NO for No One!) But my point is that threatening someone's life over their drawing a cartoon bear is insane. And Comedy Central was insane for editing and censoring the episode.

Therefore, I am totally supporting "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day". I'm not an artist. I don't play one on TV. I didn't even stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. But today, I am drawing Muhammed and posting my drawing here. I'm not afraid of backlash or veiled threats. I am afraid of the First Amendment to our Constitution being squelched because of fear. I'm not going to just sit here (figuratively speaking, of course) and be OK with a group of people trying to scare others into submission. This isn't a stand taken out of disrespect. It's a stand taken sitting down and it's one that's taken out of necessity.

Here is my Muhammed. He's at work. And he's tired. So he's taking a little nap. The office is bright, so he needs that newspaper over his face so that he can get some proper rest. Happy "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day". Now go out there and stand up for something! Even if you have to do it sitting down!

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The New And Improved Barter System

OK, fine. I take it back.

I take back what I said about people not putting time and effort into communicating online. Yeah, I totally take that back because I've learned there is at least one individual out there who puts time AND effort (not to mention a heckuva lot of creativity) into his communications. Especially those communications with those from the collections department of a business to which his payment is overdue.

I speak of a one David Thorne. I don't know if he goes by Dave. He has a website called 27bslash6. He claims it's basically for his own amusement and to amuse his friends and also, on occasion, to annoy others. (I like the guy already) If you're like me, you have no idea what the heck that means. Whether or not the explanation will help you (it didn't help me very much) is yet to be seen. According to David, "The term "27Bstroke6" was used in the Terry Gilliam film Brazil, a dystopian black comedy from the '80s that has always been a favourite." That's nice. I like obscure.

David had let some account with some business (I'm assuming it's a legitimate business. I don't know if hookers or drug dealers run lines of credit with their clientele, but I'm going to assume they don't and, hence, assume the legitimacy of the business.) get past due. And as people who are owed money are want to do, they emailed David and asked for their money. They never say it like that for some reason. It's always all fluffy.

Dear Sir or Madam, (Who? Me?)

We noticed that your account was past due. (Huh. Hadn't noticed that.)

This letter is to inform you that your past due balance that you now owe is $146,286.97. (Uh-huh.)

Please remit this payment immediately. (Yeah, I'll get riiiiiight on that!)

Thank you and have a nice day. (FU.)

Why don't they just come out and say "Yo! Money please!" I don't know either, but they don't. But that didn't bother David. See, David is the kind of guy who will make a concerted effort to hold up his end of a deal. In this case, his end was the end that owed the other end money and even though he didn't have the money on his end, he still wanted to give the other end something. Even if it wasn't money. So David decided that he would make good on his promise to pay what he owed by sending them a drawing of a spider. Wait. What?

Correct. David drew a spider. (it only had 7 legs, but technically, it was a spider. It's not so much what the drawing looks like in the end, but rather the intent of the one who is doing all of the drawing. That's why paintings that are titled "Dog in Daytime" look like "Frog in Blender" and still manage to sell for a bazillion dollars. Intent. It's everything. To some.) Then David sent the spider drawing in an email when he replied to the initial email requesting that he cough up the dough that he owed them.

As you might surmise, this did not exactly bode well with the creditor. Even if we were on the barter system, a drawing of a spider with only seven legs is hardly what I would call something of substantiated value. Oh, don't get me wrong! It's fine drawing! Very good! Accurate. I knew it was a spider the moment I laid eyes on it. It just ain't worth much, is all I'm saying.

But what transpired what a series of email exchanges that David posted on his website for all to enjoy. And I did. Hopefully, you will too. We can learn a lot of things from David. But drawing 8-legged spiders is not one of them. Keep that in mind.

***********************
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,

Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely,

Jane Gilles

***********************

From: David Thorne

Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm

To: Jane Gilles

Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.

***********************
From: Jane Gilles

Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am

To: David Thorne

Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,

Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

***********************

From: David Thorne

Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am

To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.

***********************
From: Jane Gilles

Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am

To: David Thorne

Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,

You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely,

Jane Gilles

***********************

From: David Thorne

Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.

***********************

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached (spider.gif)

***********************
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane,

Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.

***********************
From: Jane Gilles

Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am

To: David Thorne

Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,

Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely,

Jane Gilles

***********************

From: David Thorne

Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am

To: Jane Gilles

Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thank you for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.

***********************

From: David Thorne

Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am

To: Jane Gilles

Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.

***********************
From: Jane Gilles

Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm

To: David Thorne

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,

As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely,

Jane Gilles

***********************
From: David Thorne

Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm

To: Jane Gilles

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.

***********************
From: Jane Gilles

Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am

To: David Thorne

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

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