Does This Change Anyone's Mind?

Guess what?! A new picture of George Zimmerman has been released (for some reason). Now, you might remember (or you might not because you might have blocked it all out of your mind because you just couldn't stand to hear about a bunch of speculation over and over and over again) George Zimmerman is the guy who shot Trayvon Martin about a month ago. If you don't know what I'm talking about, might I suggest you volunteer to be on this man's jury. They're looking for people like you. When the video of George being taken into the police station surfaced, I heard way more than my share of "He looks fine to me" and "I thought that he was in a fight". Too rarely did I hear "He could have been cleaned up by the paramedics" and "That video is so blurry that it might as well have been shot with a potato". Anyway, here's the new picture. Behold!

Well, how 'bout that? Looks like the back of his head was bloody because he had been injured. Just like he had said that it was. Just like the police report said that it was. And I'm not saying that this means anything one way or the other. But it does mean that something happened out there before everything got kind of shooty. I'm not saying that I know what happened (and neither do you, by the way). There are only two people who know exactly what happened and one of them is dead. If I hadn't gotten so sick of hearing this story misreported and misrepresented ad nauseum, I might be interested in what people who were so quick to jump to a conclusion had to say about this. (I'm sure they're already got their conspiracy theories a-brewin'.) What I'd like to know is why this information is just trickling out? Or actually, why it's coming out at all? But considering how irresponsible the media has been up to this point, I see no reason to expect them to handle all of this any differently.

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It Sawz-All...Even That!

Look, I know what it's like (OK, I vaguely remember) to be in the midst of the throes of passion. Pretty much anything at that very moment sounds like a good idea. Upside down? Sure! From a chandelier? Bring it on! Hot fudge, strawberries, some whipped cream? All the better? Fully operational and currently functioning saber saw? Hold on there, pardner! Back away from the bed slowly there, champ.

It's hard to know where to start with this one. It's even harder to type at all without constantly cringing. Sometimes, if a particular post has to do with some sort of injury to the penile nether region of the male species, I will mention that I don't even have one and it's making me cringe. This time I do possess (and am fond of) the particular area involved and the cringing has just been constant. I'm cringing right now. But probably not as much as a woman in Lexington Park, Maryland.

Before I continue, I want to give a brief, power tool primer. For those of you not in the know of the realm of power tools, a saber saw can also be called a Sawz-All or sawzall. Why is it called that? Because it "saws all". Saws. As in cuts. Cuts with sharp little teeth. Sometimes when people say "saber saw" they're referring to a jigsaw. It's a different animal than the Sawz-All, but it does possess the same components of sharp little teeth which are powered by an electric motor. Did I mention the sharp little teeth? They're used to cut through wood, you know. Behold! Some power saws that could be called "saber saws"!

We're going to focus on the Sawzall for the purpose of this story, as that's how I'm imaging this unfortunate occurrence took place. It's seeming to be anatomically awkward to use the jigsaw in the scenario I'm about to lay out. Here's what the folks over at WUSA9 had to say to begin their story: "A Southern Maryland woman was seriously injured in a mishap involving a sex toy over the weekend." Oh, God, I think I might pass out. What?!?!

"The man who made the 911 call said he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, (please no) and then used the power tool on his partner (No, no!! No, no!!), but the blade cut through the plastic (Oh, God!) and injured the woman." Yep. Entirely possible I might pass out at this juncture.

Are you kidding me?!?! First of all, I don't rightly know what to say. Again, I'm all for the throes of passion, but not with a Sawz-All and definitely not with it....there!! I don't care how good it's supposed to be, it can't be good enough to risk....that!! And risk it she did. Unfortunately "The victim, a 27-year-old woman, was reportedly injured and bleeding." I can imagine that she was!! She was also likely to have been incredibly horrified and having incredible remorse at that moment.

What were you people thinking? I don't care how great it's supposed to be! You're not comin' near me with a power saw! Did the instructions on whatever miracle toy you folks had say to put the damn thing on a Sawz-All that still had the blade attached to it?! Those Sawz-All blades? Yeah, they come off, you know! I'm really surprised that I didn't read the five words that most commonly accompany this sort of story. Those words being: "Authorities believe alcohol was involved."

By the way, the image below is how the webpage looked when I went there to read about this story. I saw the headline "Woman Injured in Sex Toy Mishap" and then the little Geico gecko (whom I love) and for a moment there, I was really worried that the gecko was involved somehow. Thankfully, he was not. (And if he read that story, he'll know how to avoid that sort of "sex toy mishap" in the future, should the situation arise. Probably no pun intended there.)

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