I'm Just Sayin'

You know, it is awesome when you have just the coolest friend. Sometimes, if you really thought about it, you might not even really know why you're friends or why you get along so well, but you just do. And it works and you really don't care why; you're just glad that it does. Other times you know exactly why you get along and why you're friends with that person. That's a lot easier when things hit a bump or a snag or some other poetic obstacle that creates strife and/or angst in between friends. (Hey, I needed the strife and the angst to go with all of the bumps and snags! I was waxing poetically.)

When something comes up (you know, that strife-y angst creator) that puts a little distance or some sort of barrier in between you and your friend for a little while, it really sucks on both sides. Suck, suck, suck. No one wants it to suck and no one likes the suckiness. And both people really only want it resolved (or better yet, just to go away) as soon as possible.

All of this applies mainly to women. Women are a ridiculously complicated creature. And each one has their own instruction manual. Guys are easier. This is an example of how a guy's brain works:

And here is an example of how a chick's brain works:

Since the differences are so subtle, I'll just mention that the female's brain is much more complicated than the male's brain. Now try navigating through TWO of those when two women are involved. Yeah, you get it.

But here's the thing: You'll eventually talk it out. More times than not, things will be alright. (That's because you're friends. That's what friends do. They work stuff out. Because stuff is going to come up. Guaranteed. Unfortunately.) Even after it's OK though, sometimes there's this little part in back of your head or on the lower left hand side of the cockpit there that maybe isn't so sure about something. You don't know what, you can't put your finger on it, so you don't even really know if there's something there, but you wonder if there is.

And right about then, mid-wonder or mid-looking for that damn switch, your buddy comes through for you. Your buddy sends you a text that has less than 10 words, but this is one time when size really isn't important. Whatever it is, and it's different for everyone, it just let's you know that they get it. And they get that you get it. They let you know that they know how you feel and the other way around. And it's not anything cheesy like the "L" word or anything like that. It could say "Yo! Butthead!" It just depends. Whatever it says, your buddy knows, that after you read it, you'll know that everything's OK. And when you respond in a brief, yet similar fashion, they'll know everything's OK, too.

That's when you kind of realize that you do know why you're friends (if sometimes you couldn't always pinpoint it before). And that's when you realize that you do know why you like them. You like them because they "get" you. And they like that you "get" them. You "get" them because they're real, they're not phony or fake, and they're honest (and very polite). (It's really easy to "get" someone when you don't have to try and figure out what you're "getting".) And they "get" you because...well...you're not really sure how they do that, but they do. And man, are you glad.

The point is that they're pretty nifty. Now if there was only some way to let 'em know that......

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The Comfort of Our Lucky Underpants

That Calvin is a wise chap. No, not John Calvin, the guy who helped develop Reformed theology, otherwise known as Calvinism. No, not Calvin Klein, the guy who helped develop the jeans that make your ass look good. Calvin as in Calvin and Hobbes. Calvin can be quite sage-like with his words of wisdom. Turning to him for such wisdom is oddly helpful at times. I don't know why it seems to help, nor do I know the full extent to which it seems to help. But it does.

The key word in the understanding of how Calvin (or anything else utilized in this fashion, really) helps is "seems". As I just said, I don't know if it does help or not. But it "seems" to. Sometimes, things can "seem" to be good, but it turns out that maybe they weren't so good after all. And other times, things can "seem" to be bad, but it turns out that they're not as bad as you thought they were. The thing about "seeming" is that it might not be what you think, which gives a possibility that the situation can change. Whichever is the case, Calvin "seems" to help out.

It's hard to say in which situation the Calvin Comfort theory is the most effective. Most likely, it's when things seem to be good and then they head south that you'd want to induce a little Calvin. I mean, when things seem like they're just a disaster, they usually turn out to be not as bad as they were perceived. (Well, not at first. At first, a disaster is a disaster. But in taking time for a second or a third look, you might see that it wasn't as bad as you'd thought.) Now, when things are good and then turn not so good, it's harder than things that just suck from the beginning.

When it goes from good to not so good for reasons that seem to indicate it can't be better until it's worse, well, that's even harder. That's when you're going to need something other than continually, questioning or wondering WTF? That's when you need to stop trying to figure out why and just try to figure out how. How to deal. How to cope. How to help.

And while Calvin can't fix it either (because it might not be something that's fixable or sometehing that really even needs fixing), he can help you find perspective through words that are oddly inspiring, considering that they come from a comic strip kid who talks to a stuffed tiger that talks back.

Calvin's one sentence statement to Hobbes below sums up exactly how things feel when they seem to be not so great; things feel as if nothing that we have going for us is making a difference at that particular time; not even our lucky rocketship underpants. But Hobbes knows that not everything out there is able to be impacted by us. And he knows that sometimes it's not going to matter what we do because it's not a matter of doing, it's a matter of waiting. And that makes sense.

It seems to help, even if just a little bit, because if Hobbes can see that Calvin wishes that things were different, that's enough for us to hope that someone else will notice that we wished that things were different too. And just like how Hobbes is there for Calvin, and Calvin is there for us, it makes us want to let someone else know that we're there for them. Whether it's just taking time to listen or making sure that they know we're their friend or that we just wish we could help things to get better, there's that hope that it's known that we want it to be different too, and we'll stand by 'em while they figure things out. With or without our underpants.

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