She Probably Didn't Know

Ruth Madoff is making the rounds. You might remember her as the wife of scumbag thief Bernie Madoff. You might remember Bernie Madoff as the orchestrator of the largest Ponzi scheme in the history of the world; to the tune of about $65 billion dollars. If you have a hard time remembering his name, just call him Scumbag. It's accurate and it works. But I digress. His wife is now promoting a book (of course) and I needed to comment on some of the delusions that she appears to be suffering from.

First of all, I'd really appreciate it if she would stop talking about this incident as if something, like that akin to a hurricane, has happened to her. She's a little too victim-y for my liking. She can be mad all she wants, but I'd appreciate it if she would direct that anger at her scumbag swindler of a husband and not everyone who justifiably hates her and her entire family. Her not acknowledging that the hatred is probably deserved (or, at the very least,justifiable) isn't going to make anyone like her any more than they already don't.

Next, I keep hearing that she isn't going to be receiving any of the profits from the book that is coming out. Now, when I first heard that, I was fairly surprised and rather pleased. Then I heard that the money would be going to her son's fiance. Yeah, that's the same as her getting the money. Do you really think that she agreed to participate in the writing of the book without requiring one cent in return? I highly doubt it. She's getting paid and I'd appreciate it if folks would stop acting like she isn't.


I watched a lot of her interview on 60 Minutes. I would have watched more than I did except that I kept getting distracted by wondering how much plastic surgery she'd had over the years in order to look the way that she currently does. But one of the things that I did manage to take away from that interview was my assessment of her involvement in the whole ripping off people trying to save for retirement dealio. She says she didn't know and I kind of don't think that she did. Think about it. How much do you know about your spouse's work? I mean the intricate ins and outs. What do you know? Not squat, that's right. I'll give her a break. I'm not so sure about the son, though. That he doesn't appear to have an upper lip isn't helping him win any credibility points with me, either. He really should have had that fixed when they were all rolling around in Scrooge McDuck sized piles of cash.

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The Reselling of a Scumbag's Ill Begotten Items

Let's see what scumbucket Bernie Madoff spent everyone else's money on, shall we? After all, almost 200 items went up for auction yesterday. All items which were bought with other people's money had been seized from Bernie's three luxury properties that he bought with other people's money (you know, the money that he stole via the biggest Ponzi scheme in the history of the world). Here is just a sampling of some of the things that Madoff made off with.

Here we have a NY Mets jacket with 'Madoff' stitched onto the back. Oooh! How cool were you, dude? What exactly did you think wearing that would accomplish? Did you think that folks were going to look at the 70-ish old you wearing that jacket with your name on the back and think that you played for the Mets?!

Here we have some of his wife's jewelry. This would be three pairs of diamond earrings and a diamond and an Edwardian-era (who the heck is Edward? He has an entire era?!) emerald bracelet. Isn't that bracelet the kind that one would see on loan and on the wrist of a celebrity at the Academy Awards or something? Who owns something like that? Ruth Madoff is (was) who.

Speaking of Ruth (you remember her. She's his wife who claimed to know nothing about her husband's scheming ways. And she felt so badly about what he had done that when she was being evicted from their property, she asked if she could take her furs with her. Yeah, she clearly felt terrible about the whole thing. Bitch.) and her furs, here they are! Minus Ruth, of course. From my count, there are at least ten furs in that picture. Look, no one needs ten furs. I don't think that anyone even needs one fur, really. How many animals are running around naked right this very moment because they had to give up their fur for those coats?? What's that? Dead?!!? Good Lord, it's worse than I thought!

Here is a cigar box and a cigar box bag that it would appear Madoff had made up for some little jaunt off the Montauk in 1993. What is with that logo on that bag? Did some 5th grade class do that for him? Who has bags made for their boxes when they're going on vacation? I've never done that. It not only seems silly, it seems like it would take up a great deal of my time to get accomplished. (Then again, looking at that logo, it doesn't appear as if a whole lot of effort went into this idea. That's what will happen when you're pissing away someone else's money. You don't give a fat rat's ass what you spend it on. After all, it's not your money.)

Here are a couple of his boogie boards with his name wrote on them with permanent marker. What? Was he afraid someone was going to steal them? Oh, no! Then he'd have to go out and buy new ones and who can afford something like that these days?! (Um, probably people who are operating a Ponzi scheme so big it's only through the incompetence of the SEC that they don't get caught sooner.)

This is an appropriate item. This is a Rolex watch that was available to British prisoners of war during World War II. It's name is the Rolex Monoblocco, but it's nicknamed "The Prisoner". How appropriate for Mr. Madoff, as that's exactly what he'll be for the rest of his life. The prisoner. Dumbass. By the way, did I mention that this was only one of several Rolexes that he owned. Not just watches, but Rolexes. I didn't? He did. Own several. At least ten were up for sale at this particular auction. Un-believable. What a jackass.

And finally, we have what I find to be one of the more appropriate pieces of the Bernie Madoff era. This would be a life preserver for one of his boats, seemingly named The Bullship. That's just way too close to bullsh*t for it to just be a coincidence. Pretty accurate, I'd say. Everything that guy did or said was all a bunch of B.S. Hopefully this auction will net a large sum of money. It will never be enough to pay back all of the investors who lost the billions that he siphoned from them, but something is better than nothing. And he has a buttload of more things that can be sold, so look forward to more auctions in the future. Now, if we could only look forward to Bernie being someone's bitch in prison, that would be restitution!

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