Tuesday, November 1, 2011

72 Days Of Cluelessness

Let's start off November with Kim Kardashian, shall we? Well, you and I will be starting November off with Kim Kardashian. Kris Humphries on the other hand, will not. Kim, as you may or may not be aware, is famous for being famous and has parlayed that oddly established fame into somewhat of a money machine. At her wedding just a mere 72 days ago, she actually made money on the nuptials as all of the businesses and people that do weddings wanted to essentially sponsor the grand event. But here's the kicker: After 72 days of wedded bliss, Kim has decided that she's had enough and has filed for divorce. 72 days. That's all she could muster up. Just a little over two months. On one hand, it's hardly impressive. On the other hand, it's pretty impressive. Her last marriage lasted four years. To give up on this one after barely nine weeks is definitely something.

The rumor mill (aka TMZ) claims that the reasoning behind the divorce is that her soon to be ex-husband, a one Kris Humphries, wanted to live in Minnesota and she wanted to stay in Los Angeles (to further her 'career', whatever it is). Call me crazy, but shouldn't they have maybe talked about this before all of the getting married took place? But here's my favorite part: Kim issued this statement about the marriage: "After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage. I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best.” OK, look, I don't think that you can say that you had hoped it was "forever" when you didn't even make it to Thanksgiving. Seriously, my Halloween pumpkin is going to have a longer shelf life than that sham of a marriage did. Forever? Please.

I'm also quite fond of "...sometimes things don't work out as planned". But that was the problem, cupcake. You didn't plan for anything. You planned to stay in Los Angeles and he planned to live in Minnesota. That's not much of a plan when it comes to a marriage. In fact, that's the opposite of a plan. I also don't buy the part about how it "...was not an easy decision". Of course it was an easy decision. Not an easy decision would be being married for twenty years and then having to decide if you're going to get divorced. I'm thinking that only being married for 72 days would make it really easy. ("Eh. Whatever. It's not like I wasted a lot of time on this marriage. I say I move on. Wow. That was an easy decision. Next!")

Uber-superficial people like the Kardashians amaze me. Don't get me wrong. Kim has done a fabulous job of building up brand name recognition for the Kardashians in general. Maybe she's a genius business woman. Then again, maybe she's just hot and she knows how to work it. I'm voting on the latter. And I'm also hoping that her failed marriage will send her into hiding for a while. Ah, but to dream....

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