You Dumbass

There needs to be a criminal charge for dumbassery. Now, if you're unfamiliar, dumbassery is similar to asshattery, only instead of being an asshat, you're a dumbass. I suppose that there could be multiple criminal charges, one for asshattery and one for dumbassery. I'm not picky. I would just like there to be something available that accurately reflects what it is that someone has done in certain instances. You know. Like telling a flight attendant that you have a bomb in your carry-on luggage. You dumbass.
That's right. Some moron, one who goes by the semi-fabulous name of Draco Slaughter, piped up when, according to NBC New York, "...a flight attendant noticed a carry-on bag near the rear of the jetliner and asked those nearby if they knew its owner." It's hard to tell from the craptastic reporting if Mr. Slaughter (I can't decide whether or not I really want to call him Draco even though it's pretty cool sounding) did, in fact, actually own the bag. What is fairly clear from the craptastic reporting is that Draco (I'm sticking with Draco) "...said it was mine and kidding I also said that there could be a bomb in there." Brilliant. Simply brilliant. You dumbass. It probably really didn't help anything that his last name was Slaughter. Don't get me wrong. It wouldn't have been any better if his last name was "Cutelittlekittens". I'm just saying.

It's bad enough that he said what he said. We're not all that joke-y in this country about this kind of crap, you know? Call us silly. Call it 9/11. Call it whatever the heck you want to, but just don't say that you have a bomb in your luggage. And really don't say that you have a bomb in your luggage when you're at "...Long Island MacArthur Airport in Ronkonkoma, about 50 miles east of New York City". Yeah, New Yorkers especially are still not ready to joke about bombs and airliners. Too soon. Almost ten years, but still too soon.

Draco was arrested after he left the aircraft. Naturally, a couple of hours was spent searching the plane and, thankfully, no bomb was found. Unfortunately, that did sort of delay the plane from taking off to reach its final destination of West Palm Beach, FL by a couple of hours. Sure. Travelers don't mind wasting two hours at the airport because some dumbass said he had a bomb in his bag. Yeah, that's the kind of thing that everyone will just laugh and laugh about later on, right? Not so much.

When asked about the incident by reporters afterwards, a one MacArthur Airport Commissioner Teresa Rizzuto said, "We take this stuff very seriously." Yes, we know. You're supposed to. I don't know what sort of questions she was asked, but did the reporters really expect her to say anything other than what she said? Were they hoping for a "Yeah, whatever. We thought about just flying off, but figured maybe we should look around a little bit. So we had the guy that usually vacuums the planes take a stroll down the aisle and told him to let us know if anything blew up." Oh, but how I can only wish that one day someone will respond with, "What the hell did you expect us to do? Next question!"

He was "...held on bail Monday at his arraignment in Suffolk County District Court. His court-appointed attorney entered a not guilty plea on his behalf to a charge of reporting a false incident, a felony." Did I mention that Draco is 75? Yep. 75. 75 and dumber than a box of hair. Behold!

Huh. Seems to have an awfully vacant stare. Yeah, that seems about right. It says that Einstein is "...due back in court on Friday. If convicted, he could face up to seven years in prison." See, this is where I think that a charge of dumbassery is in order. I'm not sure what the penalty would be, but I'd have it be something more practical that seven years in prison. I'm thinking he has to reimburse everyone who was on that plane (and had to wait for over 2 hours because of his little stunt) the cost of their ticket. That seems reasonable. And no flying for a couple of years. No train either! Only buses. Public transit buses! That alone is punishment enough even if you haven't committed a crime.

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She's a Wii Bit Nuts

I just have one thing, real quickly, about the OctoMom who is now, apparently (allegedly) receiving or has received death threats. (Insert shocking gasps here.)

Let's just remember that usually when the "Death Threat" card is played, it's usually because the individual on said receiving end has been so raked over the coals in the media that by the time the "Death Threat" card is played (and it sounds like great fun! Someone should really invent a game where there is a "Death Threat"card.), it's pretty much the only thing that will cause some people to rethink their position (which usually doesn't need to be re-thought to begin with). They'll start to think something along the lines of, "Oh, well, I thought she was an idiot and irresponsible and crazy and wants to look like Brangelina over there, but death threats?! Well, that's out of line. Maybe we've all gone too far and should just leave her alone for a while and let her collect her thoughts or something." Whatever.

I'm going to suggest holding off any judgment that might let OctoMom off the hook. There is very little that I have read that would indicate in any way at all that these "death threats" are either a) real or b) something to be concerned about. For starters, the number of death threats started off at a couple. It suddenly became 500. I would have almost believed her if she had left it at a few. That's because there are a few nutjobs out there that would actually take time out of their nutjob schedule to send a death threat. But 500? Even nutjobs are lazy. There aren't 500 out there willing to write. There just aren't.

But let's see how worried OctoMom really is about these "death threats", shall we? AND as a BONUS, let's see just how worried OctoMom is about her finances as well. (In case you missed it, OctoMom has 14 children and no job and no source of income. Yep, that's quite the pickle there.) Here we go....According to the NY Daily News, here's OctoMom on Friday, February 13, shopping for Wii video games. Behold!

OK, as a California taxpayer, I am unaware of the clause in my agreement to pay for her video games. Actually, my sales tax just got hiked up another 1 percent (which makes it a lovely 9.25 in this county now. Joy.) because the state is $40 billion in debt. Did I mention that she receives disability benefits from the government? She does. Lots. So she's really part of my problem right now. See, if she can afford video games (when she still has no job and also still has fourteen children) then I'd like her to stop taking money from the state so that I can someday go back to paying a normal amount of sales freaking tax!

Aside from her spending money which I can't even delve further into at this moment, lest I have a coronary, she doesn't seem to be all that concerned about Death-y McThreats-a-Lot if she's out in public. Clearly, the majority of people in this country would recognize her if they saw her and I'd think that the majority of that majority, while not threatening her with death, might have some rather harsh words if they bumped into her. If I saw her buying video games, she'd find herself suddenly in the middle of a rather rapid-fire interview/interrogation session given by me. "I take it you're buying video games because you've already paid the state back for all that you've received from them, correct?' Yeah, it wouldn't be pretty. But my point is that she doesn't seem worried about it. If I were her, I wouldn't be showing my face in public until my last kid was 18 and even then I'd think it over.

But she doesn't seem to be a real honest sort, from what I can tell. Everything seems to be rather inflammatory with her. Everything is either better than it really is or worse than it really is. Here's what she said to The Sun over there in the UK: "There were letters and emails saying we deserved to die. There were protesters in front of my house. There are mentally disturbed people in the world.” Yes. There ARE mentally disturbed people in the world. You're one of them! How do I know? Here are the "protesters" that were in front of your house. Behold!

That would be a one Ulysses Gutierrez. That's it. Just him. And a photographer, but the photographer had no sign. You know, he doesn't really seem mentally disturbed in that photo. His sign indicates that he is not happy about her situation. He, himself, does not look particularly angry. But given that he's standing out in front of her house with a sign, I'm guessing he is rather angry. I know the feeling, dude. Good for you!

So, please, don't stop judging just yet. I'm sure there will be plenty more to come out and be judged by everyone quite soon! And judging isn't always a bad thing, you know. See, it's the "not judging" that might have contributed to enabling her to end up with fourteen children who are all under the age of 8 by the time that she is 33. I definitely would have liked to have had a little judging in place then!

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