Happy New Year! It's 2012!!

Happy New Year! Or, Happy Saturday (if you tend to look at these things like I do and realize that there's not all that much 'new' going on just because two digits in the year have changed)!

Holy canoli, I did it. I posted at least once, every day, for the fourth year in a row. What is wrong with me? Oh, right, overly opinionated and quite amusing, that's it! Right around 365 posts! I don't care what sort of math you're doing, if you have 365 of something, you have a lot of that thing. And since I'm not one to be a slacker (well, I'm not one to be a slacker so that everyone knows that I'm a slacker. I might be lazy, but I'm crafty!), that is going to have to be the minimum number of posts for me for 2012. And judging from the 2011 debacles that have not yet ironed themselves out, I'm sure that won't seem like such a lofty goal come May or June when I've really got a full head of steam. This blog will practically write itself! (And on some days, that really wouldn't be such a bad idea.) Not to mention that 2012 is an election year and we have Iowa caucuses coming up on Tuesday! That gives me two whole days to figure out what the hell a caucus actually is.

Well, this is all starting to sound a little self serving here, so I need to get to the point that I had meant to hit on to begin with. Pretty much, the only reason that I had for posting every single day for a year was simply just to see if I could. That and to get better at....whatever this is. That's just how I work. If I have an ongoing project, I'd prefer that I continue to improve it and get better at whatever it is that I'm doing. And I really wanted to get better at this...whatever this is. And the first year of doing that was work. The second year, while I thought it would be easier, was more work in some ways (I did not see that coming). And while I think that I have gotten better at it, I know that there's no way I could have done it (nor would there have been a reason for it) over 300 times if it hadn't been for those of you who read this and have encouraged me along the way to keep it up (lest you actually have to hear me rant about something) via your comments, your readership, your emails or just telling me in person:

La Belle Canadienne, (My link to Canada, America's Hat); Remi, my biggest fan in Germany (I'm huge in Europe!); Irritated Tulsan (Some days, he's more irritated than I am!); Granny Ann, for her consistent readership and frequent comments (I love the comments!); My dear, dear friend Julie, for sharing this blog with other people, for leaving great comments and for helping me to think about things in different ways (ie, Christine O'Donnell and Glenn Beck); CW (who was probably the first to let me know that I might be on to something here); Gerard, my London link to all that is whores; Ruth, my UK link to everything but the whores (which is perfectly fine!); CA (who reads the posts, well...who reads the comments in bulk and loves the pictures!), Kate, for reassuring me from time to time that I am still at least a little funny; Scott, for being my far away friend, on the blog and off; King of New York Hacks, for his consistent presence; Terrier, because what's not to like about someone who seems to be around 16 years old and follows a blog like this? Txscwgrl, who finally explained in am easy to understand fashion what the appeal of swinging is. All of my friends who read but don't comment and who include, but are not limited to Robin, Kelly, Patty and C.W. (God, I know I'm forgetting someone there. And I'm sure that I'll hear about it. Soon.) And finally, AliceAmplified (who has helped shape my critical thinking skills, been an avid, yet blog-mocking, supporter as well as the best friend one could ever imagine. She also writes extremely well, which has left me wanting to learn how to express things as well and as concisely as she can. I can get wordy if I'm not careful.).

You guys all rule. Thank you. Thanks for reading. Thanks for commenting. Thanks for coming back. Just thanks.

May all of you have an incredibly awesome 2011.

~ Mare

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Merry Christmas 2011!

I'm sure I could come up with something ludicrous to put here today. But I think I'll pass. It's Christmas. It just wouldn't seem....right. You know, kinda like one of those inflatable, lit up, manger scenes in someone's front yard? You know that the people mean well, but it just doesn't translate into the "feeling of Christmas" all that great.


I don't know if this is going to translate into the "feeling of Christmas" all that great either. So to make sure that nothing gets lost in translation, I'm keepin' it short. (But just in case it does get lost in translation, I really am shootin' for the whole "feeling of Christmas" thing here. Just so you know.)

I'm grateful for this day because it's kinda where it all started or where it all starts. Without the historical events which took place on this day, I wouldn't have a chance to be forgiven for all of the times and all of the things that I screw up. And there's a lot of 'em. Trust me. And it's not just me that has that opportunity. It's everyone. Including all of the morons that I mock incessantly. They too can (surprisingly) be forgiven for all of their evil-doings and their oh-so moronic ways.

The whole Christmas thing just makes me happy. And I try to share that happiness with others when given the opportunity. (And in forms other than this blog. Hey. Why are you laughing?) And this year I had an excellent opportunity to spread my own little version of happiness and I totally took fully advantage of said opportunity (seemingly to the delight of others, which was the point). I also try to enjoy those around me and those in my life and give them just one day where their obvious shortcomings don't annoy me. That's my way of spreadin' the joy. That alone makes others grateful as well. Give it a try is all I'm sayin'.

And you know, I really do have more heartfelt feelings about people in my life than I either care to admit or am capable of expressing without either scaring the other person or becoming inadvertently engaged to four different individuals when I'm done. And at the risk of doing either or both of those things, I'd like to let those of you that I know personally know that I think you're all just great. Some a little greater than others, which means there are a few of you who really need to start pulling your weight a bit more, but I still love ya. Usually. And for those of you whom I don't know personally but who read this blog (and don't leave jackass comments), well, I think you guys are just swell also and I appreciate all of the reading. I know it's not always easy and that's why I really appreciate the effort.

So Merry Christmas. Now go spread some cheer. Or some love. Or both. You've got the whole rest of the year for complaing and mocking all of the other crap. Today? Love, cheer, and thanks. Spread a little of that around, will ya? It's Christmas, for cryin' out loud!

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Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!



My mom is out of the hospital and back at home. This is the most thankful that I have been for anything in a long time. Don't get me wrong. I'm thankful for a whole lot of things. But knowing that my mom is going to be OK takes being thankful to a whole different level.

I hope that you've had a wonderful Thanksgiving and were able to be with people who were important to you. Or, if you lean toward being misanthropic (as I tend to do), I hope that you had a great day doing whatever makes you happy and thankful.

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Happy New Year 2011!

Happy New Year! Or, Happy Saturday (if you tend to look at these things like I do and realize that there's not all that much 'new' going on just because two digits in the year have changed)!

Holy canoli, I did it. I posted at least once, every day, for the third year in a row. What is wrong with me? Oh, right, overly opinionated and quite amusing, that's it! I ended 2009 with almost 400posts and that works out to right around 1.13 posts per day. That's a lot. I don't care who you are, that's a lot. If you have almost 400 of something, you have a lot of that thing. And since I'm not one to be a slacker (well, I'm not one to be a slacker so that everyone knows that I'm a slacker. I might be lazy, but I'm crafty!), that is going to have to be the minimum number of posts for me for 2011. And judging from the 2010 debacles that have not yet ironed themselves out, I'm sure that won't seem like such a lofty goal come May or June when I've really got a full head of steam. (And with so many people still wondering if President Barry is a Muslim who was born in Kenya? (He isn't and he wasn't, by the way.) This blog will practically write itself! And on some days, that really wouldn't be such a bad idea.)

Well, this is all starting to sound a little self serving here, so I need to get to the point that I had meant to hit on to begin with. Pretty much, the only reason that I had for posting every single day for a year was simply just to see if I could. That and to get better at....whatever this is. That's just how I work. If I have an ongoing project, I'd prefer that I continue to improve it and get better at whatever it is that I'm doing. And I really wanted to get better at this...whatever this is. And the first year of doing that was work. The second year, while I thought it would be easier, was more work in some ways (I did not see that coming). And while I think that I have gotten better at it, I know that there's no way I could have done it (nor would there have been a reason for it) almost 400 times if it hadn't been for those of you who read this and have encouraged me along the way to keep it up (lest you actually have to hear me rant about something) via your comments, your readership, your emails or just telling me in person:

La Belle Canadienne, (My link to Canada, America's Hat); Remi, my biggest fan in Germany (I'm huge in Europe!); Irritated Tulsan (Some days, he's more irritated than I am!); Granny Ann, for her consistent readership and frequent comments (I love the comments!); My dear, dear friend Julie, for sharing this blog with other people, for leaving great comments and for helping me to think about things in different ways (ie, Christine O'Donnell and Glenn Beck); CW (who was probably the first to let me know that I might be on to something here); Gerard, my London link to all that is whores; Ruth, my UK link to everything but the whores (which is perfectly fine!); CA (who reads the posts, well...who reads the comments in bulk and loves the pictures!), Kate, for reassuring me from time to time that I am still at least a little funny; Scott, for being my newfound friend, on the blog and off; King of New York Hacks, for his consistent presence; Terrier, because what's not to like about someone who seems to be around 16 years old and follows a blog like this? And finally, AliceAmplified (who has helped shape my critical thinking skills, been an avid, yet blog-mocking, supporter as well as the best friend one could ever imagine. She also writes extremely well, which has left me wanting to learn how to express things as well and as concisely as she can. I can get wordy if I'm not careful.).

You guys all rule. Thank you. Thanks for reading. Thanks for commenting. Thanks for coming back. Just thanks.

May all of you have an incredibly awesome 2011.

~ Mare

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Merry Christmas 2010!

I'm sure I could come up with something ludicrous to put here today. But I think I'll pass. It's Christmas. It just wouldn't seem....right. You know, kinda like one of those inflatable, lit up, manger scenes in someone's front yard? You know that the people mean well, but it just doesn't translate into the "feeling of Christmas" all that great.


I don't know if this is going to translate into the "feeling of Christmas" all that great either. So to make sure that nothing gets lost in translation, I'm keepin' it short. (But just in case it does get lost in translation, I really am shootin' for the whole "feeling of Christmas" thing here. Just so you know.)

I'm grateful for this day because it's kinda where it all started or where it all starts. Without the historical events which took place on this day, I wouldn't have a chance to be forgiven for all of the times and all of the things that I screw up. And there's a lot of 'em. Trust me. And it's not just me that has that opportunity. It's everyone. Including all of the morons that I mock incessantly. They too can (surprisingly) be forgiven for all of their evil-doings and their oh-so moronic ways.

The whole Christmas thing just makes me happy. And I try to share that happiness with others when given the opportunity. (And in forms other than this blog. Hey. Why are you laughing?) And this year I had an excellent opportunity to spread my own little version of happiness and I totally took fully advantage of said opportunity (seemingly to the delight of others, which was the point). I also try to enjoy those around me and those in my life and give them just one day where their obvious shortcomings don't annoy me. That's my way of spreadin' the joy. That alone makes others grateful as well. Give it a try is all I'm sayin'.

And you know, I really do have more heartfelt feelings about people in my life than I either care to admit or am capable of expressing without either scaring the other person or becoming inadvertently engaged to four different individuals when I'm done. And at the risk of doing either or both of those things, I'd like to let those of you that I know personally know that I think you're all just great. Some a little greater than others, which means there are a few of you who really need to start pulling your weight a bit more, but I still love ya. Usually. And for those of you whom I don't know personally but who read this blog (and don't leave jackass comments), well, I think you guys are just swell also and I appreciate all of the reading. I know it's not always easy and that's why I really appreciate the effort.

So Merry Christmas. Now go spread some cheer. Or some love. Or both. You've got the whole rest of the year for complaing and mocking all of the other crap. Today? Love, cheer, and thanks. Spread a little of that around, will ya? It's Christmas, for cryin' out loud!

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You Can't Take Just ONE Day?

I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving. At the very least, I hope you had a nice Thursday. But you know who didn't have a happy Thanksgiving? That's right. Angelina Jolie. She hates it. She hates Thanksgiving. Wait. What now?

I've heard of people hating a variety of different holidays. I'm not a particularly huge fan of Arbor Day. That doesn't mean I'm against planting trees. I just don't see the point in having an entire day dedicated to the subject. Now, Thanksgiving? That's a little different. I can totally see the point in taking a day to give thanks, spend it with people you like (usually) and get paid for the day off. (Thank you FDR for mandating that it be held on the fourth Thursday in November.) But, surprise! Angelina Jolie doesn't see it that way.

According to the fine folks over there at PopEater, a one Rob Shuter tells us that "Angelina Jolie hates this holiday and wants no part in rewriting history like so many other Americans...To celebrate what the white settlers did to the native Indians, the domination of one culture over another, just isn't her style. She definitely doesn't want to teach her multi-cultural family how to celebrate a story of murder." Oh, for cryin' out loud.

And continuing alone in true Angelina style, the article goes on to say that "Angelina gets so grossed out by Thanksgiving that she has made sure her family will not be in America this year on Thursday." Good Lord.

Listen, Angie...through the history of time, across the world, across the entire world, civilizations have been formed by one group of people taking over and/or slaughtering another. This is not unique to America. If there's one thing I cannot stand it is those who feel so enlightened and feel as if they are acting so politically correct, but they're completely wrong about their basis for doing so. But that aside, it's not the point.

The point is that it is a day to give thanks. Maybe if she felt so strongly about it, she would use this day and her immense (yet, unfathomable) star power to do something about it. Then again, considering that she's wrong about her position on this particular topic, it would make her look like a damned fool to do so. That might explain some of it, but I don't think that it really does.

Here's someone who has the entire world on a platter placed before her and she can't see the point in a day to give thanks? Be thankful for your family? Be thankful for what you have? Be thankful for what your life is or is not? One day? She can't get into that? All right then. I knew there was a reason that she's always bugged me.

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! And to those of you not celebrating Thanksgiving today, Happy Thursday!

This may come as somewhat of a shock to some, but yes, even someone as cynical and as sarcastic as I can be on occasion (translation: with every living breath) can actually acknowledge things to be thankful for. And I have plenty of them. I don't know if I constantly think about them year round, but it does occur to me at times other than Thanksgiving that there's plenty to be thankful for.

See, it's coming up on almost ten years since an occurrence that I refer to as The Unfortunate Incident, when a bunch of stoic doctors were predicting that I had about an hour to live. Of course, no one bothered to tell me that. (I'm always the last to know these things.) And almost ten years later, I'm happy to report that, thankfully, they were wrong. (Actually, they probably got the diagnosis right, but just underestimated me is all. Hey, these things happen. No harm, no foul.) While I don't think about it all the time, at this time of year I do tend to think about how thankful I am that I have been able to continue living my life as if nothing ever happened (some minor mangling aside). It's awesome.

So here we go. My thankfulness for this year is that: I'm thankful for my crazy family...even if I don't tell them all that often. (And that trend will likely continue, thankfulness or not.) And if they ever figure out how to use The Innerwebs and find this, then they'll know.
I'm thankful for the things that are typically considered "the basics"; a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear and a bed to sleep in. (Basics are good.)

I'm thankful that even though I write this blog, that doesn't necessarily make me 'a blogger'. (I prefer "That funny chick who writes stuff".) But more than that, I'm thankful that there are folks out there who actually read what I write and (for the most part) seem to enjoy it. That's awesome. Thanks.


I'm thankful for Guitar Hero (I will deny writing this, should it ever come up in conversation.)

And I'm way thankful for my friends for being my friends, even after all of this time.

Right about here is where most of you could stop reading if you wanted, but I hesitate to say that because I need at least one of you to keep on reading. (But besides that, if you stopped reading, you'd miss the most awesome Bloom County strip ever at the bottom.) And yes, it does matter which one of you needs to keep reading.

Dude, I am ridiculously thankful your friendship. I wouldn't have thought that someone who was so kind, real, polite, real polite (that's important, you know), smart, intelligent, really funny, honest, caring and just fun as hell, actually existed. But you do and it's awesome and I am way thankful for said awesomeness.


I'm thankful for all the times we've done stuff together (though not so thankful for the same damn menu at Chili's) and for your patience (and guidance and list of rules) with me during interactions with the general public. I'm thankful that I don't always have to be "on" when we're hanging out (even though I do miss the stand-up routine at times). And I'll deny this if it ever comes up, but I just think that's the coolest thing. Don't know what I'd do without ya. Happy Thanksgiving, dude.

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Happy New Year 2010!

Happy New Year! Or, Happy Friday (if you tend to look at these things like I do and realize that there's not all that much 'new' going on just because two digits in the year have changed)!

Holy canoli, I did it. I posted at least once, every day, for the second year in a row. What is wrong with me? Oh, right, overly opinionated and quite amusing, that's it! I ended 2009 with 415 posts and that works out to right around 1.13 posts per day. That's a lot. I don't care who you are, that's a lot. If you have 415 of something, you have a lot of that thing. And since I'm not one to be a slacker (well, I'm not one to be a slacker so that everyone knows that I'm a slacker. I might be lazy, but I'm crafty!), that is going to have to be the minimum number of posts for me for 2010. And judging from the 2009 debacles that have not yet ironed themselves out, I'm sure that won't seem like such a lofty goal come May or June when I've really got a full head of steam. (And with the recent failed plane blow up and people still wondering if President Barry is a Muslim who was born in Kenya? (He isn't and he wasn't, by the way.) This blog will practically write itself! And on some days, that really wouldn't be such a bad idea.)

Well, this is all starting to sound a little self serving here, so I need to get to the point that I had meant to hit on to begin with. Pretty much, the only reason that I had for posting every single day for a year was simply just to see if I could. That and to get better at....whatever this is. That's just how I work. If I have an ongoing project, I'd prefer that I continue to improve it and get better at whatever it is that I'm doing. And I really wanted to get better at this...whatever this is. And the first year of doing that was work. The second year, while I thought it would be easier, was more work in some ways (I did not see that coming). And while I think that I have gotten better at it, I know that there's no way I could have done it (nor would there have been a reason for it) 415 times if it hadn't been for those of you who read this and have encouraged me along the way to keep it up (lest you actually have to hear me rant about something) via your comments, your readership, your emails or just telling me in person:

La Belle Canadienne, (My link to Canada, America's Hat); Remi, my biggest fan in Germany (I'm huge in Europe!); Irritated Tulsan (Some days, he's more irritated than I am!); Granny Ann, for her consistent readership and frequent comments (I love the comments!); MK, who was kind enough to email me and let me know that one of my posts made her laugh so hard she cried (bringing people to tears in a good way for once! Woo-hoo! A compliment like that really goes a heck of a long way.); CW (who was probably the first to let me know that I might be on to something here); Gerard, my London link to all that is whores; Ruth, my UK link to everything but the whores (which is perfectly fine!); CA (who reads the posts, well...who reads the comments in bulk and loves the pictures!) and finally, AliceAmplified (who has helped shape my critical thinking skills, been an avid, yet blog-mocking, supporter as well as the best friend one could ever imagine. She also writes extremely well, which has left me wanting to learn how to express things as well and as concisely as she can. I can get wordy if I'm not careful.).

You guys all rule. Thank you. Thanks for reading. Thanks for commenting. Thanks for coming back. Just thanks.

May all of you have an incredibly awesome 2010.

~ Mare

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Merry Christmas 2009!

I'm sure I could come up with something ludicrous to put here today. But I think I'll pass. It's Christmas. It just wouldn't seem....right. You know, kinda like one of those inflatable, lit up, manger scenes in someone's front yard? You know that the people mean well, but it just doesn't translate into the "feeling of Christmas" all that great.


I don't know if this is going to translate into the "feeling of Christmas" all that great either. So to make sure that nothing gets lost in translation, I'm keepin' it short. (But just in case it does get lost in translation, I really am shootin' for the whole "feeling of Christmas" thing here. Just so you know.)

I'm grateful for this day because it's kinda where it all started or where it all starts. Without the historical events which took place on this day, I wouldn't have a chance to be forgiven for all of the times and all of the things that I screw up. And there's a lot of 'em. Trust me. And it's not just me that has that opportunity. It's everyone. Including all of the morons that I mock incessantly. They too can (surprisingly) be forgiven for all of their evil-doings and their oh-so moronic ways.

The whole Christmas thing just makes me happy. And I try to share that happiness with others when given the opportunity. (And in forms other than this blog. Hey. Why are you laughing?) And this year I had an excellent opportunity to spread my own little version of happiness and I totally took fully advantage of said opportunity (seemingly to the delight of others, which was the point). I also try to enjoy those around me and those in my life and give them just one day where their obvious shortcomings don't annoy me. That's my way of spreadin' the joy. That alone makes others grateful as well. Give it a try is all I'm sayin'.

And you know, I really do have more heartfelt feelings about people in my life than I either care to admit or am capable of expressing without either scaring the other person or becoming inadvertently engaged to four different individuals when I'm done. And at the risk of doing either or both of those things, I'd like to let those of you that I know personally know that I think you're all just great. Some a little greater than others, which means there are a few of you who really need to start pulling your weight a bit more, but I still love ya. Usually. And for those of you whom I don't know personally but who read this blog (and don't leave jackass comments), well, I think you guys are just swell also and I appreciate all of the reading. I know it's not always easy and that's why I really appreciate the effort.

So Merry Christmas. Now go spread some cheer. Or some love. Or both. You've got the whole rest of the year for complaing and mocking all of the other crap. Today? Love, cheer, and thanks. Spread a little of that around, will ya? It's Christmas, for cryin' out loud!

Sphere: Related Content

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! And to those of you not celebrating Thanksgiving today, Happy Thursday!

This may come as somewhat of a shock to some, but yes, even someone as cynical and as sarcastic as I can be on occasion (translation: with every living breath) can actually acknowledge things to be thankful for. And I have plenty of them. I don't know if I constantly think about them year round, but it does occur to me at times other than Thanksgiving that there's plenty to be thankful for.

See, it's coming up on almost nine years since an occurrence that I refer to as The Unfortunate Incident, when a bunch of stoic doctors were predicting that I had about an hour to live. Of course, no one bothered to tell me that. (I'm always the last to know these things.) And almost nine years later, I'm happy to report that, thankfully, they were wrong. (Actually, they probably got the diagnosis right, but just underestimated me is all. Hey, these things happen. No harm, no foul.) While I don't think about it all the time, at this time of year I do tend to think about how thankful I am that I have been able to continue living my life as if nothing ever happened (some minor mangling aside). It's awesome.

So here we go. My thankfulness for this year is that: I'm thankful for my crazy family...even if I don't tell them all that often. (And that trend will likely continue, thankfulness or not.) And if they ever figure out how to use The Innerwebs and find this, then they'll know.
I'm thankful for the things that are typically considered "the basics"; a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear and a bed to sleep in. (Basics are good.)

I'm thankful that even though I write this blog, that doesn't necessarily make me 'a blogger'. (I prefer "That funny chick who writes stuff".) But more than that, I'm thankful that there are folks out there who actually read what I write and (for the most part) seem to enjoy it. That's awesome. Thanks.


I'm thankful for Guitar Hero (I will deny writing this, should it ever come up in conversation.)

And I'm way thankful for my friends for being my friends, even after all of this time.

Right about here is where most of you could stop reading if you wanted, but I hesitate to say that because I need at least one of you to keep on reading. (But besides that, if you stopped reading, you'd miss the most awesome Bloom County strip ever at the bottom.) And yes, it does matter which one of you needs to keep reading.

Dude, I am ridiculously thankful your friendship. I wouldn't have thought that someone who was so kind, real, polite, real polite (that's important, you know), smart, intelligent, really funny, honest, caring and just fun as hell, actually existed. But you do and it's awesome and I am way thankful for said awesomeness.


I'm thankful for all the times we've done stuff together (though not so thankful for the same damn menu at Chili's) and for your patience (and guidance and list of rules) with me during interactions with the general public. I'm thankful that I don't always have to be "on" when we're hanging out (even though I do miss the stand-up routine at times). And I'll deny this if it ever comes up, but I just think that's the coolest thing. Don't know what I'd do without ya. Happy Thanksgiving, dude.

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