Should He Be Wearing That?

I've been following the efforts dedicated to the recovery of human remains and debris from the Air France 447 crash. Since there hasn't been a major-major crash in about eight years (thankfully) I don't really have any recent memories to compare this recovery effort to. So these questions are based purely upon my internal "WTH" mechanism, which can go into overdrive sometimes.

At first, when it was realized that something was definitely amiss with said plane, it was being reported as "Air France jet vanishes" or "Contact lost with Air France jet". I'm more OK with the 'contact lost' descriptor than I am with 'vanishes'. Vanishes? Like 'poof!'? I don't think that it 'vanished'. I never did think that it 'vanished'. Pretty much, from the beginning, when you hear a story like this, you know, unfortunately, that it crashed. You also know, pretty much, that it didn't POOF! vanish.

It was a few days after said 'vanish-ment' that I started seeing headlines like "Air France: Missing plane likely crashed." Really? Now, this was the same day that prior headlines with "Air France flight missing mid-flight." were rampant. Likely crashed? Why jumping to conclusions so soon? You sure you want to rule out "sucked out of the atmosphere by an alien craft" or "rendered invisible by magic moonbeams" so soon? It hasn't even been a day yet. You sure you want to go that route?

Of COURSE it crashed!

Look, I'm not trying to be insensitive here, but really, what other options are there? When was the last time that a plane disappeared from radar that did not crash? Don't give me the whole 'Miracle on the Hudson' dealio, because while that plane ended up making an emergency landing, if it hadn't been for Captain Sullenberger, that plane would have ended up crashing. When it disappeared from radar what was it doing? Crashing, that is correct. So why all of the "likely crashed" scenarios making the headlines second instead of first? I don't know. Do they think that "plane missing" is going to alleviate the fears of the friends and family of those on the plane? I don't think it is! That's all I need! To have in my head that a relative or a friend of mine is suddenly a participant on a real life version of 'Lost'! Actually, I think I'd prefer "Can't find the plane, prepare for the worst."

Do I think Amelia Earhart 'vanished'? I think she crashed. Just because she was never found doesn't necessarily mean she 'vanished'.
Then came the announcements that they had found debris. Buoys that would be from the plane in the event of unexpected contact with the water were found. Cargo pallets were found. A LARGE oil slick in the middle of the ocean was found. White debris, which was never explained, was found. Seats and things that would have been from the inside of the cabin were found. Great! That means that they should be able to find the rest of the wreckage, right? Yes, but only if all of those things that they found were actually from the Air France plane. Which they weren't.

What?! Not from the plane?! Well, then where the hell were they from then!? Buoys that are from airplanes and are in the general vicinity of where the plane 'vanished' are not from that plane? How do you figure that? WHAT ARE THEY FROM?!?! I don't get it.

And while I don't understand how these recovery operations work, I do find them fascinating. I love the pictures of the guys doing all of the work out there in the ocean. I love the ocean and it scares the crap out of me at the same time. I have a buddy (who's likely reading this right now. Hi!) who works with the ocean and she went freaking snorkeling in it in the middle of nowhere last year! On purpose! So while I could never do that, I find it fascinating that others can (and do!). That's why I love the pictures. But this one baffled me. Behold!

First of all, holy cats. That's the big ol' tail they're standing on. It's so odd to see people standing on things in the water that should not be in the water. But I digress. One of those things is not like the others. Can you spot the one? Let me help you. Behold!

I believe that man is wearing a Speedo! Yes, that is a Speedo. WTH?

Since when do recovery divers wear Speedos? Was he vacationing and just decided to come along for the ride with the other divers? A wayward triathlete, perhaps? Is that Michael Phelps? I don't know, but he's in a Speedo and it just doesn't seem right. I mean, it's not wrong, but you have to admit that it's a little bit out of place, yes?

If anyone knows why Speedo-Man is there, please let me know. It's things like this that keep me up at night.

Sphere: Related Content

For the Love of Dog

Sometimes, even when things turn out pretty much how you expected them to, there's just a little something that throws you for a loop. Like this high speed car chase in Sacramento on Sunday. You kind of have to assume that anyone who makes the cops chase them for over 50 miles and at speeds topping 100 mph has: a) done something really wrong, and b) isn't just quite right. I knew that "B" was almost always a given. I didn't know that "A" was optional.

So this woman, a one 47-year old Annette Hurd, had "allegedly struck another car on Highway 12" according to the CBS13.com website, and that's when the chase began. Somehow, this wannabe NASCAR driver managed to drive for fifty miles and, for most of the ride, also managed to avoid most of the little spikey things the cops set out to blow out her tires. But even when she didn't avoid them and flattened her tires, did that stop her? Of course not! This is clearly one determined individual. That's why she kept right on driving, flat tires and all.

Now, at some point, if you're the driver and you thought it was a good idea to lead the cops on a high speed chase in the first place, your judgment is definitely in question. Certainly your decision making process is a little out of whack. But don't you think at the point where your vehicle has no tires that you might reconsider your choice? I mean, at that point, are you still thinking you're going to get away? With no tires?! It's over. Give it up. I don't get it.

The chase finally ends with one of the cops ramming her car with their squad car which caused her to spin out and finally stop. So she's stopped, they pull her out of the car and...well....see for yourself. Behold!

Yeah, see I wasn't expecting that. Nope. Actually, if I hadn't known ahead of time that it was a woman, I likely would have just assumed it was a man. I know, I know. But I've seen COPS! They're almost always dudes! I'm just going with odds! And speaking of odds, what are the chances that the five words that always explain this sort of behavior are applicable here? If you guessed 100% that "authorities believe alcohol was involved" you'd be correct! Bravo!

But I'm not done! There had to be a reason for this asinine little stunt, right? Of course. She had to get her dog home. Wait. What was that?

Correct. Again, according to the CBS13.com website, "Annette said she was tired and a "little bit" intoxicated after swimming all day, but was afraid that her dog would be taken away from her if she was arrested." Of course. Because swimming all day will cause one to become intoxicated. Right. I don't know, call me silly, but she doesn't strike me as much of a swimmer. Drinker? Yes. Swimmer? Not so much.

In an interview from the jail, she told a news correspondent, "I wasn't worried about me, I was worried about losing my dog." Why would you give an interview to the local news when you're sitting in jail? Why? Then again, why would you lead police on a 50 mile high speed chase whilst going 100 mph with the intention of taking your dog home? I'm pretty sure the kind of person that does one of those things is the kind of person that does the other one of those things. In this case, I'm really sure of it.

She also made the ridiculous sounding statement, "I didn't want to hurt anybody. I wasn't trying to hurt nobody." Hey, jackass! Were you trying to not hurt anybody? Most people who "don't want to hurt anybody" don't engage in 100 mph car chases with the cops so that they can get their dog home! Given as how you seem to have an IQ just a tad under that of a potted palm, it's a wonder that no one, including your freaking dog, was killed.

Sphere: Related Content