That Which Can Kill You, Can Kill You

I suppose that it's necessary whenever there is a public health threat out there to alert the public. But when it involves the quality of the heroin that one may or may not be doing, is it really necessary to make it sound so important? At the very least, please don't use that "something terrible has happened" voice when reporting it.

Down under at the fabulous Australian news source of news.com.au, we learn that "British authorities today warned drug users that heroin in London was highly likely to be contaminated with anthrax." Right. Because if there's one thing you don't want in a drug that can kill you, it's another drug that can kill you. Wait. What?

That's right! There might be anthrax contaminating heroin. Is that even possible? To "contaminate" heroin? I always think of things that are not contaminated as something that is pure. Something that is OK. Something that isn't going to kill you or make you so dependent on it that you lose everything in your entire life, end up homeless and destitute and having to defecate into a wooden bucket at some point (so I've heard).

According to a one Dr. Brian McCloskey, director of the Health Protection Agency over there in London. "While public health investigations are ongoing, it must be assumed that all heroin in London carries the risk of anthrax contamination." Oh, OK. Hear that, heroin users?! Are you paying attention to what the director of the HPA is saying about your illegal drug of choice? (I'm sure that they are. I'm sure that they just shoot up every day whilst watching a little C-SPAN or the British equivalent thereof.)

But fear not, responsible people who do not feel the need to inject addictive substances into your own bloodstream for the purpose of rendering yourself high as a kite and unable to do anything besides be high and drool! Fear not! That's because that same Dr. McCloskey has added that "...the risk to the general population was "negligible." Really? So, if you have heroin which is contaminated with anthrax and you don't actually do heroin, then there's nothing to worry about? Fascinating.

Here comes my favorite part. It's the part about what to do about this problem. That same doctor says that "Heroin users are advised to cease taking heroin by any route, if at all possible, and to seek help from their local drug treatment services." Oh. Well, why didn't you say so?

See how easy it is? All of you people out there who are addicted to heroin? Yeah, all you need to do is just stop doing it. That's right. If you were afraid that it was going to be some big, long complicated solution that involved various types of math or something, you're in luck! All you have to do is STOP doing the heroin! That's all. Just stop.

I think that we all know that the threat of dying isn't exactly something that is going to scare a heroin addict to stop cold turkey. It's not like they're going to hear about the anthrax and suddenly exclaim, "Wait a minute now! You mean this s*** can kill me?! Hoooolllld on! If you're telling me that heroin can kill me, well, then, that's a different story. I shall stop this moment! There! I just stopped doing heroin. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to clean this vomit off of myself and see about getting one of those job things that everyone is always talking about. Good day, madam!"

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Looking Up To Reuters

From the apparently versatile folks over there at Reuters in New York, we have an article that is headlined with "Reuters evacuates NY newsroom in powder scare". Wait. Then who's writing that article?

Apparently, an envelope was opened by a one Brian Rhoads, the managing editor for the Americas (I'm assuming that's referring to the publication and not the geographical masses) and a "puff of powder" came out of it. Now, that's different that a "powder puff", which would be really strange, but likely not cause for evacuation.

So they evacuated the 140 staff members on the entire 19th floor and three hours later, after a thorough investigation consisting of who knows what, it was declared safe to return to work! No word on what the powder was, how they knew it was safe, why it only took three hours, and how this cop and his pen fit into the investigation.

It would seem that earlier this month, several other letters, "...many containing a suspicious white powder, were sent to Chase bank offices and two other financial institutions in several states and to the New York Times headquarters in New York." Isn't ANY white powder that comes flying out of your mail going to be "suspicious"? At least until you find out what it is? And even if it isn't anthrax, which US authorities claim to have been "on alert for since 2001", any substance that comes flying out of my mail is going to be deemed "suspicious" by me. I don't care if it's powdered sugar, Columbian cocaine, that stuff that Pixie Stix are made of, all of it is quite odd if it's flying out of my mail!

According to a one Paul Browne, the spokesman for the NYPD, "no link had been established between the alert at The New York Times and the letters sent to financial institutions, and there was no immediate indication the latest incident was related either." Now, is that supposed to be good news or bad news? It kind of comes across as good news, but if you think about it, it's really not so good. Look, if I'm going to have some nutjob out there mailing stuff containing talcum powder or baking soda, I'd prefer it if it were only ONE nutjob, thank you. I don't want a whole slew of nutjobs out there doing this sort of thing.

I think I would have rather had the guy say, "For the past three hours, we have thoroughly investigated the latest powder in the mail incident. Right now, it's time for lunch and we're a little hungry for all of the investigating. So you'll be happy to know that it's from the same nutjob whose probably hiding out in his parent's basement in the middle of Kansas somewhere and there's nothing to worry about because it's just that one guy. Thank you and have a nice day." It sure sounds a lot better than, "I dunno. Maybe. Maybe not. Look, just get back to work. What do you want from us?"

But here's my question: So, they evacuate everyone from the 19th floor and they all (presumedly) go outside to stand around and wait. Below are some pictures that were taken when they were all whisked outside. Did they make them all lie on the ground? Are the photographers at Reuters only one and a half feet tall? Why are all of the photos taken as if the person taking them was lying with their head on the curb? Is that typical procedure during a suspicious-white-powder-in-the-mail-evacuation? I don't know. Granted, it could be the all-Reuters-photographers-are-one-and-a-half-feet-tall thing, but I'm pretty sure I would have read about a requirement like that somewhere. Regardless, it's still odd.

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