Saturday, September 11, 2010

The Governator's All A-Twitter


I need for November to hurry up and get here so that everyone can freaking vote and will stop being subjected to the incessant barrage of campaign ads and literature which are seemingly endless. After that, then I need for January to hurry up and get here so that Arnold Schwarzenegger can get the heck out of the office of the governor of California and go about trying to get some cushy job in the Obama administration (which seems to be what he's angling for lately, even though he hasn't said anything about it). Not that his replacement is going to be any better, mind you. We're faced with the abhorrent choices of either Meg Whitman (who has already spent over $108 million of her own money, so you can only imagine how she'll be pissing away mine if she's elected) or Jerry Brown (who might be in the early to middle stages of dementia, depending on the time of day and if he's speaking publicly or not). But I'm so ready to get rid of the Governator right now that either one almost looks appealing.

Arnold hasn't always put being governor first. No, if you've ever heard him talk, you know what his first priority and his first love is. Laughter. That man loves to tell a joke. Making an audience laugh is what he seemingly lives for. He thrives on one-liners. His enormous face just lights up if he can make a crowd laugh with one of his silly jokes. Like back in May, when he was at Emory University in Atlanta to give the commencement speech, and he said, "I was also going to give a graduation speech in Arizona this weekend, but with my accent, I was afraid they would try to deport me." Or in July when he said that "...while BP appears to have contained the Gulf oil leak...no one has figured out how to contain Mel Gibson.” Oh, yeah. He's a riot.

If the state wasn't in the complete s***hole that it is (that could say sinkhole; you don't know), I don't know that I'd give a fat rat's ass what he does or said. But the state isn't exactly thriving, so I guess that's why he irritates me so much lately. And after I read that he was on his way to Asia, the irritation continued. I guess he's going over there to bid on having the World Expo in California in 2020. Whatever. We have problems NOW, Arnold! There a little thing called a 19 billion dollar budget deficit that needs tending to now! (Just four more months. Just four more months. Just four more months.)

But just because he's on his way to Asia, don't let that make you think that he is no longer worried about getting laughs, because they are just as important to him when he's flying in the air as they are when he's doing nothing on the ground. The Governator likes to take to Twitter when he's feeling particularly joke-y and there's no one around to pretend to laugh. He tweets quite a bit when he isn't feeling joke-y, but mark my words, if there's no one around to hear his one liner, it's off to the Twitter he goes!

And tweet he did. Ready for his sky-high snark? He twat tweeted "Over Anchorage, AK. Looking everywhere but can't see Russia from here. Will keep you updated as search continues."



And he even included a lovely photo of him looking for Russia. Behold!


::: sigh ::: Well, I'm glad that he's kept two year old SNL skits in mind for just such an occasion. Now if he would just pay a little more attention to things that are happening now instead of things that might happen ten years from now, I'd relax a little bit. In the meantime, I can't wait for January; after which the only time I'll have to hear from him (hopefully) is when he's doing the talk show circuit for Terminator 12 or Conan The Barbarian 14 - Conan Goes To College.

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