Saturday, July 17, 2010

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others

I like sports, but I'm not all that thrilled with golf. I used to play golf. I thought I hated it. Turns out, I only hated the guy that I was dating at the time who wanted me to play golf with him. Once I got rid of him, started drinking and rented a cart, golf had much more of an appeal to me. But I digress. The point here is that if there is a major tournament, I might check out a little bit of coverage, just to see how it's going. This week is the British Open and boy am I glad that I did check it out. If I hadn't, I would have missed John Daly in this photo of all of the previous British Open winners. Behold!

Uh, one of these things is not like the others. As confusing as the choice to wear that jacket is, John Daly looks even more confused. Is he back on the sauce? That's not the facial expression, nor the fashion statement of a sober individual. And I would really be doing the whole photo a disservice if I didn't comment on the Farmer Forehead tan that Tiger Woods seems to be sporting there. The guy on the other side of John seems to have the same affliction. But not Lee Trevino down there in the middle at the bottom. Granted, he is unnaturally tan for a 70 year old, but at least it appears to be uniform.

So I started looking back at some of John Daly's fashion choices throughout the years. Hoo-boy! While it was good to know that it's not all that unusual for John to make some interesting choices for what to wear, it still wasn't overly comforting that he chooses these things in the first place. Let's look at some of them, shall we?

Here's John early in his career. He doesn't look horrible. Granted, donning an Indian blanket as one's shirt isn't the most advisable wardrobe selection, but it's going to look tame compared to some of his later looks. (Look at how thin he was, too. Ahh, but those days were few and far between.)


In the photo below, he's still young, yet seems to be getting prepped for that humongous gut that he'll be dragging around with him for years to come. Again, it's not horrible. It's sort of a Christmas sweater sort of look. And it might be his last time looking somewhat presentable.

Yellow will play a part in many of John's outfits. Like here with this inexplicable tartan pattern. (I think that's tartan. I skipped textiles in high school.)

Here he is in more yellow...and apparently on a break from clown college.

Top to bottom yellow, not to mention a crazy hippie-dippy-trippy flower power pattern, never advisable. Ever.


It's even less advisable in orange.


Here he is looking like a pissed off and gay Bill Parcells. Nice man-hoots, John. Nice bright orange man-hoots. Good Lord...no one wants to see that. Er, those. Whatever. It's hideous.


Twister, anyone?



Whenever John can't find his own pants, he apparently just borrows some from the lead singer of Warrant.

Look, when John Daly is playing well enough that it doesn't matter how he dresses, that's fine. But he's really going to have to be on his A-game if he wants to be able to justify the ensemble below. Ever.

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