Thursday, July 1, 2010

Twilight Isn't Real

I've come to the conclusion that, in general, these confirmation hearings for a Supreme Court justice nominee are a big, fat waste of everyone's time. What is the point there? The shaping of the court? Granted, I know that a justice can lean to the left or lean to the right. But if they're really doing their job, it shouldn't matter. I don't know how you're going to be able to figure out how someone is going to perform in the future (and for the rest of their life, actually) by asking them asinine questions during the hearings.

Take a one Senator Amy Klobuchar, a Democrat from Minnesota. According to The Huffington Post, Sen. Klobuchar decided that the confirmation hearings for Elena Kagan would be a good time to throw freaking Twilight into the mix. That's right. Twilight. The sparkly vampire movie series thing that I don't understand. How does that play a part in the confirmation hearings? Well, obviously, it freaking doesn't! But Sen. Klobuchar managed to cram it in there anyway. Let's see how she did that.

She started off by saying "You had an incredibly grueling day yesterday, and did incredibly well, but I guess it means you missed the midnight debut of the third Twilight movie last night. We did not miss it in our household, and it culminated in three 15-year-old girls sleeping over at 3 a.m. So I have this urge to ask you about this..."

Let me just interrupt here for a moment. So, she knows that Ms. Kagan had an incredibly grueling day the day before. Why make this day any worse for the woman by asking her a ridiculous question that is purely fictional?! I don't know the answer either. Let's see how Ms. Kagan responded.

KAGAN: I didn't see that.

Wow. She did a lot better than I would have. My response would have been either a blank stare or a string of obscenities. That's probably just one of the reasons why I'm not expecting to be nominated to the Supreme Court anytime soon.

The problem with Ms. Kagan's answer, however, it that it encourages the dimwitted Senator from Minnesota to continue along with her fictional line of questioning.

KLOBUCHAR: "I keep wanting to ask you about the famous case of Edward v. Jacob, or The Vampire v. The Werewolf."

She keeps wanting to ask her? How long has she been a-clamoring to get this out?! It's not a famous case! It's not a case at all! They're fake and sparkly vampires! There's no case! Besides, do we really want a Supreme Court justice that is into Twilight? I can't say that we do. Granted, I can't say that we don't, but I'm leaning heavily in that direction.

Fortunately, Ms. Kagan said exactly what I would have said (only without the obscenities) when she replied, "I wish you wouldn't." Yeah. Me, too.

Of course, that didn't stop Ms. Klobuchar from continuing to try to be witty when she said, "Well I know you can't comment on future cases." Aaarrgghhh! There IS no future case! Vampires AND werewolves are not real! It's a movie! They sparkle! You're a Senator! We're talking about the future of the Supreme Court here and you're asking non-sensical questions about non-existent werewolves and non-existent vampires that may or may not sparkle! What is wrong with you, Senator?

The video of this interchange is below. We're doomed, I tell you. Doomed.

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grannyann said...

You hit the nail on the head. When I heard that I thought - what the h-----! Are we confirming a justice or a movie critic?

Mare said...

Hey, Grannyann!

HA! A movie critic! Most excellent! Yep, it was completely ridiculous.

~ Mare