Of Course That Happened!

I don't understand why some people feel the need to make stuff up to get all worked up about. There are plenty of things out there that are extremely irritating and bothersome. And they're not hard to find. It's not like you have to look for them or anything. They're right there. That's why I'm a little perplexed about the latest details coming out about the Amanda Knox ordeal/fiasco.

She still hasn't said much since she was released from an Italian prison where she spent the past four years for maybe/maybe not murdering (or at least taking some part in) her roommate. And really, what is there to say? ("Yeah, I was in jail. Yeah, it sucked. Oh, wait. You're not expecting me to tell you that I was really guilty now that they've let me go, are you? I didn't think so. So, we're right back to 'it sucked'.") And since there isn't a lot to say, the media is now taking what has been said and they are running with it as if she was in Abu Ghraib. Here's their latest over-compensation: Amanda Knox was sexually harassed in prison.

Um, OK. Harassed? That's it? In prison? Personally, I don't think that I'd be complaining if that's the worst thing that happened to me if I was in prison. (Why might I be in prison, you ponder? Come on. We all know that one day I'm going to twist off, probably when California is completely insolvent, and do something nutty. I don't know exactly what form my discourse will take, but it will likely be spectacular. And personally, I hope it involves fireworks. They're pretty. But I digress.) So...what? She had to put up with a bunch of "Hey, baby" and "Lookin' good"? In prison? I'm OK with that. No complaints here. Granted, she doesn't seem to be the one complaining. The media is falling all over itself trying to act like that was so outrageous that it happened. What's amazing is that more didn't happen to her. Seriously, have you seen her? She's kinda hot. Of course she was sexually harassed!

I'm curious as to why there is a different standard or why there was a different stance taken with Amanda Knox than there was with the three idiot hikers that got themselves arrested in Iran. In both instances, an American was jailed in a foreign land for a crime that they said that they did not commit. (Granted, Iran is run by a crazy man, but Silvio Berlusconi isn't exactly the epitome of leadership over there. He appears to be about as mobbed up (not to mention horny) as they come.) But with the idiot hikers (their new moniker), the money that needed to be forked over to pay their ransom was paid for by the United States (aka, you and me). Amanda Knox needed attorneys and legal assistance when she was imprisoned abroad, but you didn't see the country forking over the money for that. No, her family mortgaged their houses and forked over the cash that they raised. Why was it different? I don't get it.

But whatever the reason, I doubt that it will be any different the next time something like either one of the above scenarios happens again. In the meantime, I think that Amanda Knox is going to be just fine. I'm sure that she'll get over her "sexual harassment" she experienced in the Italian prison. Now if only the media could get over it just as easily, then we'd be in a lot better shape.

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So He's Jewish, Eh?

Hey, hiker boy. Yeah, you. And your two dimwitted hiker friends who like to hike right next to the Iranian border. Yeah, you guys. I have a question for you. You all seem pretty down on the United States and its policies toward Iran. Actually, you all seem pretty down on the United States in general. (Don't get me wrong. I'm not a fan of any of the wars. (I've lost count. Are there still just the two or are we counting our NATO involvement over there in Libya as three?) I don't think that the U.S. is perfect and/or flawless. But I'm not so disgusted with it that I'm going to run off and go live in and sing the praises of Syria for cryin' out loud.) You made it VERY clear that you were held in Iran for as long as you were because you were Americans. (Dumbass Americans, but Americans none the less.) You made it sound like the policies of the United States were your ONLY enemy during your situation that you got yourself into. You made it sound like if only the U.S. had done things differently in regard to its stance with Iran that things would have turned out differently for you. Why then is it that everyone went to great lengths to hide the fact that you, Josh Fattal, are Jewish?

Now, I don't give a fat rat's ass what religion anyone is. I kind of care what they do in the name of their religion (Islamic extremists, I'm talking to you), but other than that, have at it! I don't care and I don't understand people who do care. But you know who cares? You know who really, really cares if you're Jewish? That's right. Ol' Ahmadinejad (I'm a Dinner Jacket) of Iran. He's not a fan of the Jew. Or of the Israel. He has infamously said that he'd like to see Israel wiped off the map. (And for those of you sticklers out there, the actual quote was "The Imam said this regime occupying Jerusalem must vanish from the page of time." Yes, I realize that there's nothing in there about a map, per se. But tell me that doesn't mean the same thing. He does not like them.)

So it wasn't until after all of the wayward hikers had been released from Iranian custody that the word gets out that Josh Fattal is Jewish and that it was purposely kept under wraps while he was in prison. (Can I just say that I am amazed that any secret can be kept these days, especially when it involves a story/person in the news.) Now, why would that be an important thing to keep secret if the only reason that they were being held is because they were Americans and because of U.S. foreign policies? Oh, could it be because Dinner Jacket is a lunatic and if he were to find out that Josh was Jewish that he might never be let go? Yeah, that sounds more like it.

Look, all I'm trying to point out is how intellectually dishonest those three are being with themselves and with others in regard to what they "believe". If they truly believed that they were being held simply because they were pawns, then wouldn't they have believed that it should be OK for it to have been known that Josh is Jewish? You'd think. But obviously, since that information was suppressed (and I totally believe that it should have been), there are other components at work here than simply the nationality of a prisoner or the foreign policies of the countries of origin of the prisoners. They're dealing with a country that is run by a man who may or may not be a lunatic. You really can't get into a lot of "reasons" why things happen when that's the case.

I don't know exactly why this particular story has really ticked me off. Maybe it's because these three seem to be so ungrateful for what people in this country have done for them. Maybe it's because they seem to be so ungrateful for this country in general. Maybe it's because this story is treated in the news as if something horrible had happened to these three that was out of their control. (If you didn't know the whole story and you listened to the recaps, you might be under the impression that they were snatched from their beds in Berkeley and taken to Iran for two years. That's because all of the reporters always use their "Something bad that was completely uncontrollable has happened" voices when reporting this.) I don't know, but I think I'm done with it for a little while. I'm at least maybe going to wait until they start making the talk show rounds before I go off again. Look forward to something that is not this tomorrow.

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Show Me The Money

Remember that story of the three American dumbasses hikers who thought that it would be a good idea to go for a little stroll right there along the border of Iran? And then the Iranians arrested them and accused them of being spies? And they've been in an Iranian prison ever since? You remember, right? Right. Well now, it looks like Iran might be willing to release them on "humanitarian" grounds, but there's kind of a catch. See, "humanitarian" to the Iranians means they want a million dollars and then they'll let them go.

And I really don't care one way or the other whether or not they let those numbnuts go. As much as I dislike Iran, I really don't have any problem with any country enforcing the laws regarding their borders and keeping people out of their country. I know it's a foreign concept (pun not really intended) for the United States, but other countries really do seem to give a fat rat's ass about who legally comes and goes. Go figure. But I digress. Where was I? Oh, right. The numbnuts and their million dollars of humanity.

I keep reading all of these news reports about how their release is imminent as soon as the million dollars ($500,000 per dumbass) is paid. As you'll recall, their companion, a one Sarah Shourd, was released a while back after $500,000 was paid for her release. Now, thinking back on that incident and reading about current events, I'm noticing that there is one small item that no one seems to be mentioning. Where, pray tell, is all of this money coming from?

I don't know about you, but a lot of people don't have half a million dollars just lying around in case their children go off on very inadvisable travel plans along the borders of some crazy sand land countries. Where are all of these miraculous half a million dollar ransoms coming from? I mean, those two chicks who got themselves all locked up in North Korea because they were doing the same thing and hiking near the border of a country ruled by a lunatic, they just had Bill Clinton show up and that was that. (Who knew Slick Willie still had that kind of pull?) It didn't cost anything to get them out. But Iran wants money. And from what I can tell, they're going to get it. I just want to know where it comes from.

Please tell me that the United States doesn't have some sort of Stupid Ass Lost Hiker Fund or anything like that. And if we do, please tell me that it's funded by private donations of those sympathetic to stupid ass lost hikers. Don't tell me that it's taxpayer money or anything like that. Sorry that I'm not more sympathetic, but I don't have a lot of patience for things that are REALLY easy to avoid. Look at me! Here I am! NOT hiking anywhere NEAR Iran! See? Easy.

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