Exhausted? Again?

It's time for another Lindsay Lohan update!  And surprise, I'm not going to tell you that she's dead.  One of these days, I'm sure that I will.  But that day is not today.  Instead, I'm here to tell you that paramedics were called to her hotel room after she was 'non-responsive'.  But have no fear!  The story that she came up with is about what you'd expect.  That being highly unlikely and not very well thought out.  But she's still not dead, so there's that. 

Here's the scoop:  See, for some reason, some producer out there thought that tired and worn out looking Lindsay Lohan would be the perfect choice to play Elizabeth Taylor in some sort of movie.  I don't know exactly why that decision was made or who thought it was a good idea.  Let's just say that she wouldn't have been my first choice.  (She probably wouldn't have even been my last choice, but that's an entirely different blog post.  Sort of.)  And lately, they've been doing some filming.  This requires Lindsay to be there and to actually work.  But that didn't go so well the other night when she didn't answer her hotel room door and someone called the paramedics.  According to the article over at the Huffington Post, "Producers were concerned when she did not come out of her room".  (Translation:  We knocked.  No one answered.  Everyone assumed she was dead.  We were wrong.  This time.)

The paramedics came and went, but not before the story was all over the Internet about Lindsay being found unconscious in her room.  Thus, she needed to go into damage control mode so that people didn't start getting the wrong idea about her, of course!  (Can you imagine if people started thinking that she was on drugs or something?  The horror!)  Naturally, she did what anyone in her situation would do.  She took to Twitter to give her version of events.  As I'm sure you can imagine, anyone without a drug addled noggin may be able to find fault in her explanation.  Let's take a look.  Behold! 

 

Of course!  The old "exhaustion" excuse!  Why didn't I see that coming?!  Isn't that what they always say?  They were "exhausted" and that accounts for their odd behavior that no one else in the history of the world has ever displayed.  Wasn't she "exhausted" right before she plowed her car into a tree or something?  Probably.  But let's try to focus on the real gem of these tweets.  That being this part:  "After working 85 hours in 4 days".  Uh, does someone want to tell Lindsay that there are only 24 hours in a day?  And that 85 hours in 4 days would equate to about 21.25 hours per day?  Call me crazy (or call her crazy), but that seems, oh, excessive?  So, eleven hours of sleep in four days?  Doesn't she have a history with cocaine?  Doesn't cocaine keep you up for hours on end?  Meth does the same thing, right?  Yeah.  OK.  I'm not insinuating anything.  I'm just making a statement in the form of a question.  That's all I've got. 

 

I don't know what her deal was, but I'm pretty sure that she wasn't slaving away for 21.25 hours each and every one of those four days that she was working on a movie to portray a woman that she looks (and acts) nothing like.  And I'm not saying that she wasn't working at all.  I'm sure that she was.  I'm not even saying that she wasn't a little tired.  I'm sure that she was.  But I am saying that her explanation for these events qualifies as a work of fiction, and not a very good one at that.  Does Vegas have an over/under line on how long this chick is going to live?  I'll take 30 and the unders. 

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He's Not Exhausted Either

I am clearly doing exhaustion all wrong. I mean, first I heard about that Jason Russell guy of KONY2012 fame who was "exhausted" and ended up butt naked on a street corner with his junk flapping in the wind. And now I hear about Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino who is apparently doing rehab to kick a problem with "prescription medication use" which apparently stemmed from being exhausted. Who knew?!

According to the huffy folks over there at the Huffington Post, one of the guys who is on the inexplicably successful MTV program "Jersey Shore", Mike, has checked himself into rehab. According to the article, he is "...getting treatment for prescription medication use." Now, can't we all just assume that it's painkillers? What else would it be? I find it highly unlikely that he's hooked on penicillin or something innocuous such as that. I mean, if they're going to tell us anything at all, why don't they just tell us how it is instead of giving us bits and pieces? Because all that serves is to make them look ridiculous for thinking that we're going to buy a lame excuse.

The article goes on to say that "Mike Sorrentino says he's voluntarily seeking to "take control" of medication he was taking to deal with exhaustion." Again with someone claiming exhaustion? When I'm exhausted, I sleep. What I don't do is pop a bunch of painkillers and then head out to some happening bar at the Jersey Shore where I will likely get s***faced drunk and go home and bang some random female with bolt-on breasticles who I will never see again. Exhaustion?

I don't have a lot of respect for a lot of these people to begin with. But I would have at least a certain degree of not loathing them if they would just be up front and honest with the public that they seem to feel that they are either indebted to or who they (wrongly) think are hanging on their every move. I don't give a fat rat's ass about The Situation or any other situation. But if he's going to blow smoke up my ass, the least that he could do is make it truthful smoke.

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