She Doesn't Know Anything

Is it the silly season already? I thought that wasn't until September. I must be wrong because Nancy Pelosi has been spouting out the ramblings of a crazy person. And when someone can do that when they're talking about Newt Gingrich (who isn't exactly someone I would put in the 'completely sane' category), well, that's certainly something.

According to the NY Daily News, Nancy Pelosi was asked by CNN about what she thought about the change that there might be a "President Gingrich". She responded with: "Let me just say this. That will never happen...He's not going to be President of the United States ... Let me just make my prediction and stand by it, it isn't going to happen." Now, while I agree with her feelings, I don't know that I think that it's a very good idea to go around saying it quite like that. There are too many dumbasses out there who go to vote. I'd hate to have any of them get wind of this and think, "Oh, yeah?! C'mon, Cletus. Let's go show her wrong!" (And by the way, there would be no particular reason for the dumbasses to think this. They're dumbasses. They don't need a reason.) But she didn't really stop there. No, she went on to jabber: "There is something I know. The Republicans, if they choose to nominate him, that's their prerogative. I don't even think that's going to happen." Wait. There is something that she knows?

What could she possibly know? (Other than it would appear, based on the photo below, that Dwight Schrute is quite possibly Newt's love child.) Does she know something that the rest of us don't? Really, those sentences didn't string together very well, so it's entirely possible that she didn't know what she was talking about either. (I wonder if that happens when you've had your face lifted just one too many times. Hmm...) But you can't just come out and says "There is something I know" and not back it up with...anything, lest you sound like a crazy(er) person. At the very least, make your subsequent sentences flow!

I can't imagine that she has some sort of 'secret weapon' that she's going to break out if Newt should get the nomination. And even if she did, why wouldn't she keep that sort of thing to herself? You don't want to be letting everyone in on your 'strategy', do you? Granted, if it is a 'strategy', it's probably the worst one I've ever heard of. (It's a good thing she isn't in charge of our SEAL operations. She'd tip everyone off before anything could get done. Can you picture it? "There is something I know. Osama bin Laden is about to hear a knock at his door." Yeah, that wouldn't be very effective.)

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He Doesn't Have Cats

There are a lot of different people in the world. Some are nice, some are not so nice. But here's my take on all of them: Just be who you are and don't try to hide it and while I might not like you, I will at least respect you. You could be the world's biggest bitch or biggest d**k and as long as you don't try to pretend like you're not, I'm good. It's when people who are clearly d-bags try and act like they're not. Those people I have a problem with.

Take Newt Gingrich. His giant pumpkin head aside, he is one who will not embrace his d**kishness. And it's nothing new. Let's remember that at the time of the Clinton impeachment hearings (which you'd have thought were about Clinton getting all Lewinsky-ed in the Oval Office, but were actually not about that at all), Newt was being extremely sanctimonious about the whole ordeal and the entire time that he was doing so, he was cheating on his wife! That's a d**k move if there ever was one. Does he hang out with John Edwards? I think that the two of them would get along just swell together.

Well now, one of his ex-wives has come out with a 'revelation' that she thinks will ruin his quest for the Republican nomination for President. This would be a one Marianne Gingrich, also known as Wife Number Two. (I think she was the second wife. I'm just not sure if she was the wife that he left when she had cancer or if she was the wife that he left when she had MS. See why I think he'd get along so well with John Edwards?) Why she is just coming out with this now is beyond me. But I'm guessing that what she has to say is probably true since after she announced that she was going to make an announcement, Newt swung into full PR mode and had his daughters make statements. One usually doesn't call out the daughters unless they're worried about something. And I could see why this might worry him a little.

The point here is that Marianne Gingrich said that when she was married to Newt and found out that he was having an affair, he not only declined to end the affair, but he also asked her to agree to an open relationship. That's right. Oh, and did I mention that less than 48 hours after asking her to agree to this (she declined, by the way) "...he gave a lecture to the Republican Women Leaders Forum titled, "The Demise of American Culture" in which he decried the way liberals "talk about values." Yeah, he did.

Look, there are a lot of reasons why Newt is un-electable and this is just one of the reasons why he can't be trusted with the nomination. He had to step down as Speaker of the House because of ethics violations, for crying out loud! Does this open marriage request thing surprise anyone? It doesn't surprise me. What surprises me is that people are surprised that someone who has proven himself to be grossly unethical, cheated on his wife and wanted an open marriage, all the while preaching morals and values to the rest of the world. I wonder why she's coming out with this now. And really, I'm a little disappointed that this is all that her information holds. I think I was hoping she'd say something like Newt was a cat hoarder and had 100s of cats living with him. That would have been awesome.

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That's A Lot Of Mitt

If Newt Gingrich was just a little more sarcastic and a little more childish with some of his statements and retorts, he could put his campaign headquarters in a playground somewhere. The man is one step away from going down to a "I know you are but what am I?" level. And in case you haven't noticed, Newt is not a big fan of Mitt Romney. Newt would seem to see Mitt in the same light that I do, that of a phony tool. But since Newt is the one trying to run for President, he put a little more effort into pointing out Mitt's toolishness by making a video of some of his more memorable statements. And don't get me wrong. I don't think that either one of these numbskulls should be President. But that doesn't mean that the video isn't amusing. Behold! (And if it doesn't load, please click here.)

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