Wednesday, October 5, 2011

It's Just Rain!

The weather is changing. And that can only mean one thing. Stupid ass suggestions from local media outlets on what to do in the case of weather.



Look, I live in an area where the climate is pretty mild. It rains periodically from about October through at least April. So for six months out of the year, it rains. And for the other six months, it doesn't rain. I know that sounds asinine of me to say it like that (you know, because it's such a simple concept that even my cat could understand it and I don't even have a cat), but it's all in the spirit of how local news media seem to think that everyone is completely retard with little to no capacity for short term memory.




This is seriously what I had to hear today: "With the rains that are forecast for the next couple of days, it would be a good idea to stay inside. When venturing out, consider using an umbrella if it is raining."


::: blink ::: ::: blink :::

No joke. I swear. It's as if it has never rained before, none of us have ever heard of rain and the consequences are dire. And by the way, this isn't even considered a "storm". It's just going to rain. And all hell is apparently going to break loose when it does.

I guess I just don't want to accept that those sorts of forecasts are tailored for a specific group of people that, despite my depression and disbelief, actually do exist. I can tell because for some reason, whenever it rains, they all feel the need to get in their cars and drive as if they are in the Great Blizzard of some year in which there was a great blizzard. They act as if they are driving on sheets of glass. They have their nose about two inches away from the windshield and their hands are in a death grip lock on the steering wheel at the 10 and 2 positions. And if you think that they're doing all of this in a speedily fashion, you would be wrong. 45mph on the freeway TOPS when it starts raining again. It really does wonders for the ol' blood pressure, let me tell you.

I wish that I understood this fascination that folks have with the water that falls from the sky. The power that it has to dumb people down to where they're mouth breathing morons who are terrified of a little precipitation is beyond me.

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Clearly your local media are reporting for those who truly aren't smart enough to come in out of the rain. On the other hand, you could live in the northeast where the local media makes a forecase of a 3 inch snowfall sound like the Blizzard of the Century. (Personally, I think the "meteorologists" have some sort of alliance with the bread, milk, and egg producers since everyone apparently needs to make French toast whenever it snows--that's the only possible explanation for the sudden rush to buy those items EVERY time it snows!)

Mare said...

Hey, Anonymous.

HA! We get the onslaught of those apparently desirous of French toast every time there's a huge rainstorm out here as well! And I agree with the media (obviously) over-hyping things. Every time there's a little rain coming, you'd get the impression from the local news that you're supposed to be readying your ark.

Thanks for reading!

~ Mary