Well, yesterday I posted what I thought were the most depressing poll results ever. Today, I have equally depressing poll results to share with you. The only good news that I have is that these poll results came from the exact same place that yesterday's poll results came from. Thus, we can hold out a sliver of hope that it's just asshats that read the NY Daily News that feel this way. But really, I'm hoping that what Scott said yesterday was true and that Skynet thing becomes self aware and kills us all.Sphere: Related Content
Back to the NY Daily News where we learn about how New York is making all sorts of new regulations for summer camps. You remember summer camp, don't you? If you're like me, you probably look back on summer camp much more fondly than you did when you were actually in attendance. Oh, don't get me wrong, camp was OK. But it certainly wasn't the best thing that ever happened to me. (I'm still waiting for the best thing to ever happen to me to finally freaking happen. I hope it's not much longer. I don't know how much more I have left in me after reading stories like this one.) The point is that there were lots of games at summer camp. And since New York is now regulating summer camp, those games will be no more. Why? Because they're too dangerous, of course.
What sort of games were they offering that put children's lives in peril? Why, games such as (brace yourself) freeze tag, Wiffle Ball, kickball, dodgeball, Capture the Flag, Steal the Bacon and Red Rover are "...deemed dangerous in new state regulations for day camps." Freeze tag is dangerous?! They do know that no one actually gets frozen, right? This isn't some sort of cryogenic camp. Who is doing this and why? According to the article it is the Health Department. "The Health Department created a list of supposedly risky recreational activities - which also includes more perilous pursuits like archery, scuba and horseback riding - in response to a state law passed in 2009." Umm, wait. What summer camp offers scuba diving? And archery is ONLY dangerous if you stand in front of the target. (And if you are standing in front of the target, I'm kind of thinking that you deserve to get shot with an arrow. I guarantee you that it would only happen once.)
It would appear that "The state Camp Directors Association backed the 2009 law, and Health Department spokeswoman Diane Mathis said the list of risky activities was crafted with help from camp groups." Risky activities. That would be fine if they actually included risky activities in their list. Wiffle ball isn't risky! Oh, and if you're wondering what they don't think is risky, that would include Frisbee, tug of war and sack races. Sack races?! There's a risky activity! Trying to hop around in a burlap sack? That never ends well. How did sack races make the list but Red Rover has to go? Because people are morons, that's how.
Now, they did interview two fairly reasonable people who agreed that banning these activities was ludicrous. But, they also interviewed one softheaded individual, a one Kim Wainwright (whose head, I'm assuming, is softer than melted butter), who has a 5-year old and who said, "Kids these days are kinda brutal so I can see those games being dangerous...I agree with it." No mention of teaching kids not to be "kinda brutal". No mention of the games not being dangerous in the first place! Just don't let them do it. Don't try to help them have fun. Don't try to teach them that getting hurt is a part of life. Just don't let them do it. Good Lord....
And my frustration doesn't end with just her. No, I did something that I shouldn't have. Why couldn't I have just learned from my experience yesterday and not taken the poll? Why? I don't know either, but I did. I took the poll. Here is the question: "Do you agree with the Health Department that Wiffle Ball, kickball and Red Rover are dangerous?" Here are your choices (even though you know how it's going to turn out):
Yes, kids could get seriously hurt playing them.
No, they're childhood classics that every kid can enjoy.
I'm too stupid to make a rational decision on this issue. (Again, I made that up and the real choice was "I don't know"."
I hope you're sitting down because eighty seven percent answered "Yes, kids could get seriously hurt playing them." Eighty-seven percent. Eighty-seven percent think that kids shouldn't play kickball or dodgeball or freeze tag because they might get hurt. Eighty-seven percent. We're scroomed. So completely scroomed.