Monday, November 15, 2010

The Most Obnoxious Child Ever

I think I've done it. I think I've found the most annoying 10-year old in the world. I might have found the most annoying child in the world. I'm probably stretching it to say that she is the most annoying person in the world (especially since I've seen episodes of Jersey Shore), but not stretching it too far. Actually, I can't take all of the credit for this one. I stumbled upon this self-important child over at a blog/website that appears to be called either Blog Bethany or Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah. It's one of the two. And whichever one it is certainly does not detract from the content, as Bethany is highly amusing.

Here's the deal: What you're about to watch is a less than 2-minute interview with a one 10-year old Cecilia Cassini. Ms. Cassini is dubbed as the "Youngest Fashion Designer in the Country". I'm not going to doubt that, as I have seen her "designs" and they do appear as if they were created by someone quite young. Granted, I think the term "designer" is a bit gracious. Perhaps they should have tried on something like "Young Person Learning To Sew". I find that title to be a bit more accurate.

Warning: You might not be able to make it through this entire video without feeling the uncontrollable urge to strangle this child. This is not an uncommon reaction, as I have shown this video to several people and all have had visceral reactions to it (the most severe hoping that she OD's on cocaine by age 11). And look, I realize that she's 10. Should I not like a 10-year old as much as I don't like this one? If they act like she does, I think that's just inevitable. Now, I realize that I would probably dislike her parents even more than I dislike her, as they are the ones that are putting up with this sort of nonsense. But since they're not around in the video, I just get to dislike her. And now, behold! The most annoying person you will witness all day (at least)!

How ya doin' over there? You OK? Clawed out your eyeballs? Stabbed your ears? Yelled "Kill it with fire!"? Yeah, I understand. Let's take this from the top. What in the hell is on top of her head? Look, that's not fashion. That's like a startling visual for why you shouldn't do drugs. Is she trying to channel Sarah Jessica Parker during some SATC movie premiere? (That chick always has on a large hat for some reason.) Working on a more modern version of Aretha Franklin's inauguration hat? I don't get it.

Then there is the matter of her designs. They all seem to sport a common theme (aside from appearing to be poorly sewn). The theme is a solid colored fabric on top or bottom of a dress and then a printed fabric (or a really, super sparkly one) opposite of that one. Oh, wait. I forgot about the theme of all fabrics that don't go together at all and look like they were sewn in the dark. Behold!

Wow. OK, then. That's what kids want to wear? Um, have at it, I guess. I don't quite know how to react to those, other than "Run! Save yourself!"

But what I really don't get is that Valley Girl, "I'm so much better than you" tone in her voice. What is up with that? Why is she talking like that? I spent a little time with The Google and found a couple of other interviews that she has done earlier in the year. She was somewhat obnoxious, but nowhere near as obnoxious as she was in the video above. This kid is letting her ego get way too big for herself. Sure, it's cool that she has an interest in designing clothes. Sure, it's great that she's learning (and I stress the word learning) to do what she's doing. I'm sure that she'll have a lovely career in fashion of some sort. You can see more of her "fashion designs" at her website.

The point here is that she is insufferable as a human being. I skimmed through her blog and she seems to delight in referring to herself as "moi". Didn't Miss Piggy do that? Hmmm. It's certainly more endearing for the muppet than it is for her. Her clothes aren't that great (at this point) and are extremely overpriced (for something that isn't that great). Don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled that she will be able to support herself one day and has some sort of a future. But she really needs to work on her attitude, not to mention the quality of her work. (Is a straight seam too much to ask?) The last thing that we need is a bunch of kids running around emulating her and her extreme obnoxiousness. (Is that a word? Obnoxiousness? If not, is it now and it was invented just for her.)

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Scott Jacobs said...

"he most severe hoping that she OD's on cocaine by age 11"

So proud of that...

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh. The valley girl accent. The explosion of gold on her head. Enough said.

Mare said...


I knew you'd enjoy that.

And the terrier,

I like you. That you used the phrase "The explosion of gold on her head" makes me like you more. Well said!

Thanks for reading!

~ Mare

Mark said...

My 9 year old can sew better and has better fashion sense. And she knows better than to have an attitude like that, so she's safe from Mocking Words, for now.

Mare said...


I'm sure that anyone in your clan will always be safe from this blog!

And hey, if your daughter is 9, that makes her younger than this chick, so she should go ahead and slap some fabrics together, put a pom-pom on her head and upstage this pint of obnoxiousness as the country's youngest fashion designer. The hissy-fit that the kid would throw would alone make it very worthwhile!

~ Mare

Anonymous said...

Haha! It's "BlahBethany" ... maybe I should make that a little more obvious. Thanks for the shoutout, this video ended up all over the internet after I posted it and you're one of the few sites that linked back to me :)

Mare said...

Hey, Bethany.

Maybe I should just pay more attention to what things are called! It is now noted that you are BlahBethany. It has been previous noted that you are quite amusing.

Thanks (I think) for bringing the existence of this demon child into my stream of consciousness. I'm always happy to link to someone that can provide me with a daily dose of awe and amusement.

~ Mare