Thursday, October 7, 2010

I Like It To Make Sense

With 500,000,000 "members" on Facebook, can't they do something useful with that sort of base? I mean something really useful. Not something that's fake-useful. (By the way, I use the quotes around members because the number of accounts is different than the number of people who actually use the service on a consistent basis. See, I can do that when I'm not one of those who benefits from trumped up numbers. But either way, it's still an enormous buttload of people.) How about if I amend that request? How about if instead of asking if Facebook users could do something useful I instead ask if Facebook users could just stop doing things that do absolutely nothing, all the while pretending as if they're saving the world from certain destruction. (Trust me. Certain destruction doesn't sound that bad when the alternative is surviving with a bunch of morons that just blindly follow something without giving any thought to what they're doing.)

Here's the scoop: A certain status update has been going viral on Facebook. It's women who are blindly doing the updating without stopping to think a) Why am I doing this, and/or b) Why am I doing this? It goes something like this: The status starts off with "I like it on the" and then women are supposed to fill in the blank with where they like it. Like what, you ask? Why, where they like their purse, of course. Wait. Wait. Their...purse? Yes. Their purse. Melissa Bell over at the Washington Post explains it "Women are posting where they like to keep their purses when they come home, but they conveniently leave out the word "purse." Oh. Ha-ha. Is there a reason for this? Of course there is, silly! It's for breast cancer. Wait. What?

Correct. Breast cancer. According to The Huffington Post (which sites other references) "October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, and the "I like it on" trend is an attempt for women to unite around that cause in a top secret way. The idea is figuratively to leave men in the dark." Um, this might be one of the stupidest "feel good" things that I have heard about in quite some time.

First of all, how does posting where you like to keep your purse (assuming that you carry a purse) help raise awareness for breast cancer? And second, how is leaving men in the dark about it helping anything at all? (I realize that it's a small percentage, but it isn't like men don't get breast cancer also.) Is it just women who should be concerned about breast cancer? Assuming that this was even a legitimate tool for raising awareness, why is it that men should be excluded from all of the being aware? Explain to me how it is that men should be excluded from caring about breast cancer? Explain to me how it is that men are not affected by breast cancer? Better yet, explain to some guy whose wife has breast cancer how breast cancer awareness should exclude him.

I'd love to hear from anyone who actually posted this on their status so that they could tell me not where they like their damn purse, but what did they think was going to be accomplished by their going along with it? I'd like to know if they in some way felt smarter by posting it or if the goal was just to feel smarter than the men who had no idea what it could possibly mean (and who, stereotypically, just jumped to the assumption that it was about sex). Thank God that the folks who have been actually been doing actual things to raise awareness about breast cancer didn't run their campaigns with inane Facebook statuses.

Listen, if you want to raise awareness about something, what say you tell folks what it is that you want them to know, OK? Wouldn't you raise more awareness about breast cancer by simply posting on your status "October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Now you know."? Or something like that? I'm sure that you probably would, but that wouldn't be nearly as cutesy as where you like your damned purse. We're so doomed. So, so doomed.

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6 comments:

Juliana said...

We were just discussing this at lunch not 30 minutes ago!! I knew it was something stupid like this. I was telling my group at lunch how something stupid like this was going around last year about what color of bra you had on. Remember?? How funny to keep all men in the dark and this is helping raise arareness about breast cancer?? How idiotic. Thank-you for enlightening us on this new stupid idea.

Scott Jacobs said...

I just want you to know that I didn't read a single word of this post...

But I looked at the pictures with great interest...

Mare said...

Thanks, Jules! I hope to be of service in the future when more "new stupid ideas" crop up!

And Scott...as long as you found a couple of things about it interesting, mission accomplished, I say!

~ Mare

Gerard said...

Hi Mare,

Long time no speak,
well,I must say,I have always been very aware of breasts,perhaps overly aware,since my teens.
Most men I have met seem very aware of breasts,again perhaps overly aware.
I guarantee you that aside from very close family relatives,most men are not only aware of the breasts of 99.9% of the women they have ever seen in their life,
they have weighed up (not literally) all dat breasts and given them a rating -generally 1-10,but many men are now operating on a scaled-down 1-5 system (Yes,I'm serious,most regular guys discuss this sort of thing) I think this is due to the amount of easy access to free online porn (information overload!)

Alas,breast cancer awareness amongst men,particularly amongst regular guys,is that the discussion can go quickly downhill once breast examination is discussed.
Men will be particularly interested in this part of the discussion,though I feel many may not have their heart in the right place at this point.
The last thing guys need is an excuse to look at breasts,examine them,visually or manually or discuss them ad nauseum.
Seriously,if its 6pm already,chances are that guy has already been examining breasts all day,clothed or unclothed,in the street,on the tv,online,etc.
I'm not even talking about the porn,I mean the checkout girl,girls in the mall,the newsreader,the weather girl,etc.
Because he's a MAN.
We're hardwired to be aware of breasts!
Since Neanderthal man,we haven't changed much in that respect,evolution still has us evaluate and catalogue all the breasts we ever see in 0.9 nanoseconds and store them in our adaptive subconscious.
We literally accumulate carry around not just Gigabytes,but TERABYTES worth of breasts in our heads,probably filed next to 'girls asses' or something.

I am reminded of a seminal performance in the movie Office Space where the main characters neighbour would whoop and holler and bang on his wall to alert his neighbour when he found a Breast Exam being performed on TV,to which he would turn on HIS TV to check it out.
Yup,that's regular guys.
Men are still little more than dumb apes with less hair and slightly better hygiene.
The CONTEXT is unimportant-its anopportunity to see breasts!
Men's brains, touted as an advanced computer bourne through millions of yours of evolution,just thinks one thing when we see a breast exam being performed-

BOOBIES!!

Gerard

Gerard said...

Hi Mare,

Long time no speak,
well,I must say,I have always been very aware of breasts,perhaps overly aware,since my teens.
Most men I have met seem very aware of breasts,again perhaps overly aware.
I guarantee you that aside from very close family relatives,most men are not only aware of the breasts of 99.9% of the women they have ever seen in their life,
they have weighed up (not literally) all dat breasts and given them a rating -generally 1-10,but many men are now operating on a scaled-down 1-5 system (Yes,I'm serious,most regular guys discuss this sort of thing) I think this is due to the amount of easy access to free online porn (information overload!)

Alas,breast cancer awareness amongst men,particularly amongst regular guys,is that the discussion can go quickly downhill once breast examination is discussed.
Men will be particularly interested in this part of the discussion,though I feel many may not have their heart in the right place at this point.
The last thing guys need is an excuse to look at breasts,examine them,visually or manually or discuss them ad nauseum.
Seriously,if its 6pm already,chances are that guy has already been examining breasts all day,clothed or unclothed,in the street,on the tv,online,etc.
I'm not even talking about the porn,I mean the checkout girl,girls in the mall,the newsreader,the weather girl,etc.
Because he's a MAN.
We're hardwired to be aware of breasts!
Since Neanderthal man,we haven't changed much in that respect,evolution still has us evaluate and catalogue all the breasts we ever see in 0.9 nanoseconds and store them in our adaptive subconscious.
We literally accumulate carry around not just Gigabytes,but TERABYTES worth of breasts in our heads,probably filed next to 'girls asses' or something.

I am reminded of a seminal performance in the movie Office Space where the main characters neighbour would whoop and holler and bang on his wall to alert his neighbour when he found a Breast Exam being performed on TV,to which he would turn on HIS TV to check it out.
Yup,that's regular guys.
Men are still little more than dumb apes with less hair and slightly better hygiene.
The CONTEXT is unimportant-its anopportunity to see breasts!
Men's brains, touted as an advanced computer bourne through millions of yours of evolution,just thinks one thing when we see a breast exam being performed-

BOOBIES!!

Gerard

Gerard said...

Whoops,I posted twice somehow,sorry!

G