Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Comedy Central, Meet Facebook

I think an introduction is in order. Comedy Central? Please meet Facebook. Facebook? Please meet Comedy Central. The two of you have an awful lot in common. Dumbassery being the prominent trait that led me to believe that you guys should hook up. Both of you, Comedy Central and Facebook, saw it completely appropriate to censor "images" of the "prophet" Muhammed because it was "offensive to Muslims". The two of you should be very happy together. Morons.

Here's the latest: You might remember (or not, I don't really know) about a month or so ago, Comedy Central heavily censored an episode of the perpetually offensive to humans (and simultaneously hilarious to humans as well) cartoon which is not for children (it's barely for adults) South Park. The episode in question allegedly depicted the alleged prophet, Muhammed, in a big bear suit. Apparently, even though it was a cartoon and even though no one has any idea what Muhammed looks like and even though no one really even saw Muhammed because he was IN the cartoon bear suit, it was still deemed "offensive" to Muslims. Really?

I'm really hard pressed for a time in my life when I have honestly been "offended". Even the folks who leave moronic comments on this blog don't offend me. Actually, those really amuse me. (My favorite was the one guy who called me an "ignorant and ethnocentric blogger". Can you believe that? Blogger?!) But really, lots of things that lots of people do every day are offensive. So why is it that when the extremist Muslim community gets offended do some people even bother paying attention and attempt to placate their wishes with censorship? Because they get rather 'splodey when they're offended.

See, when the Muslim extremists get all upset, their solution is death. Just kill the infidel who has wronged them and things will be fine. And there is no reasoning with those folks because they believe (or justify) that they're doing what they're doing in the name of religion. You really can't argue people out of their beliefs (no matter how bass-ackwards they are) that easily. I guess that's why Facebook got all censor-y on us.

There was a Facebook page called "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day" and it promoted everybody drawing Muhammed on May 20th as a protest in light of Comedy Central censoring South Park because of veiled death threats directed at the creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Apparently, a couple of weeks ago, Pakistan blocked all access to Facebook because of the page. They found it to be blasphemous. To which I say, "Whatever." But apparently, that's just me because Facebook said (in essence), "Oh, my God (Allah), you're offended?! You're going to block all access to Facebook because of that page? Well, we'll take it down right away! We are sorry. Please unblock access so that we may continue to enjoy revenue from ads we place on the site via information that we sell." I was paraphrasing, of course, but you get the drift.

According to the huffy folks over there at
The Huffington Post, a one Majibullah Malik (pronounce that however you'd like), who is the secretary of the information technology ministry in Pakistan, "In response to our protest, Facebook has tendered their apology and informed us that all the sacrilegious material has been removed from the URL." Tendered their apology? What in the world were they apologizing for, exactly?

Malik also claimed that "Facebook assured the Pakistani government that nothing of this sort will happen in the future." Nothing of what sort? Free speech? I've got news for you, Pakistan. I don't give a fat rat's ass what you think. Why in the world Facebook does, I'm not quite sure. But what I do know is that the folks that run Facebook are a bunch of pansies (I wanted to use the other "P" word, but I'm trying to lend a bit of credibility to my argument so that I don't come across as simply hot-headed. That's not to say that I'm not. Oh, I've built up a full head of steam over this one.)

And get this: "Anger over the Facebook controversy also prompted the Pakistani government to block access to YouTube briefly, saying there was growing sacrilegious content on the video sharing website. The government restored access to YouTube last week but said it would continue to block videos offensive to Muslims that are posted on the site." I guess I find it interesting that they're only interested in blocking videos that are offensive to Muslims. Have you been to YouTube lately? There's something on there to offend just about every kind of human being on the planet. Reading the comments alone are enough to lower your IQ by about 10 to 20 points. There are over two billion videos on YouTube. Watching every single one of them start to finish, front to back, would take over 200 years. Good luck blocking all of those "offensive to Muslim" videos, Pakistan. Good luck with that.

What I don't get is if they can just block offensive videos on YouTube, why couldn't they just block the "offensive" page on Facebook? I mean, seriously, it's not like that's the ONLY page on Facebook that would be "offensive" to Muslims. That's the other reason why I don't understand why Facebook removed it. There are plenty more out there that would fall into the "offensive" category. Of course, Facebook could not be reached for comment. (Ironic, considering the purpose of Facebook is to continually share information. Yet, we can't get in touch with Facebook when we want to. Again, I say, "Whatever.")

This has got to stop. Freedom of speech is one of the most important concepts that is necessary for a truly free society to exist. What part of that do people not understand? When did people start getting so freaking soft that just because one group starts whining that they don't like something and implying that folks are going to die for it that people start apologizing and caving into their demands? When did this happen?

The face that Facebook took down that page shows them to be ridiculously hypocritical. They're always talking about the freedom to share information. Well, hey, dipwads! What do you think that "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day" page was doing? Sharing information, that is correct! But that isn't relevant because a bunch of folks in one of the crazy sand lands are "offended"?! Are you kidding me?! What in the world do I care what Pakistan thinks about Facebook? That's right! I DON'T care! You know why? Because they're Pakistan! And because it's a freedom of speech issue!

Good Lord, my head hurts. We're doomed. And screwed. Scroomed. We're scroomed, I tell you.

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