Friday, November 30, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
This needs to be studied. Those people need to be confronted and asked what in the hell they were talking about and why they were flat out lying to the camera. DID they actually buy something that they thought was a Powerball ticket? (Maybe it actually is like Jimmy Kimmel surmised there at the end that they bought Powerade and were simply confused. Then again, I didn't see any sports drinks in their presence, so that might not be the case.) Or were they just flat out lying and making themselves look asinine on purpose? If so, what purpose did that serve, exactly? I'm so confused while at the same time being completely fascinated by this phenomenon. I really need to start doing stuff like this. The video of all this asshattery is below. Enjoy!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Somehow, it would seem that we have regressed back to the days of the 1920s when people did things like eat goldfish. But that was during the Depression when people either needed food or entertainment! We have many, many other forms of entertainment available these days. Have these blokes never seen the Internet (and the many, many varieties of porn available)? That aside, I can just hear it now. Many moons in the future when these fine lads are heard asking, "Dad, why don't I have a job?" "Well, son...it isn't helping things that all of your prospective employers first impression of you when they go the ol' Google is you pouring milk over your head."
Should I be happy that they're not doing drugs at least? I suppose I should, but I'm really not. Seriously, if they're this enthralled by pouring milk all over themselves, can you imagine what's going to happen if they're ever offered heroin? I mean, they really seem to enjoy pouring milk over their head. And I've heard heroin feels pretty good. I'm guessing (having neither done either one) that heroin feels better than the milk pouring. They'll be homeless on the street within an hour of that. OK, I'm probably exaggerating just a bit, but only about the heroin. See for yourself a video of them and all of their milky glory below.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
First of all, given as how we're sooooo enlightened and politically correct these days, I'm surprised that someone has allegedly (probably loudly) that calling it Black Friday is racist. You'd think that we would have heard that by now, especially considering all of the other ridiculous things that we have to hear about as being racist. But we don't. And for that ONE little thing, I am glad.
What does a game of Candyland cost when it is NOT on sale? Eight dollars? Six? I really don't know (even though I loved that game as a child), but I know that I would be willing to pay full price for Candyland as opposed to standing outside in the frigid cold for hours upon hours to get one for the low, low price of four dollars. Are times THAT tough? They can't be.
And one final note: Have you people never heard of the Internet? How great is shopping online? You can be drunk as a skunk, sans pants, still eating leftover turkey and still get what you need/want without leaving the comfort of your home AND without nearly being trampled by a bunch of savages at your local Target store. That's right. The Internet. Check it out. You'll love it.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Friday, November 23, 2012
Wal-Mart has decided that it will open at 8pm on Thanksgiving. There's no real reason for this that makes any sense. It's not like it's going to attract more shoppers. I'm under the impression that you're either the type who wants to go Christmas shopping as soon as you can or you're not. (And really, the Black Friday "deals" that are advertised are really bordering awfully close to being a scam. There are usually only one or two of a certain item at each store for the advertised bargain price. And the items aren't usually as great as they want you to think that they are. You want to pay only $300 for a laptop? Go right ahead. But if you think that your bargain priced $300 laptop is going to work as well as my $800 laptop, think again. That $300 laptop is probably overpriced at $300.) Really, I don't know if shoppers are excited about this or not. But I do know who is not excited about it and that would be the workers.
Some employees of Walmart are flipping out that they have to go into work so that the store can open at midnight. Something about them not being able to spend time with their families. Now, I know absolutely nothing about opening a Walmart store and I know equally as much about working at Walmart. But I do know that opening at midnight shouldn't cut into one's Thanksgiving festivities by that much. Should it? I understand not wanting to go into work on a holiday. I also understand that there are jobs out there where you have to go into work on a holiday. (I worked one of those jobs for 13 years. Hospitals don't care if it's Thanksgiving or not. It's part of the job.) And if you have one of those jobs, you shouldn't really be all that surprised when you're expected to be there on a holiday. But apparently, folks who are working at Best Buy and Target feel differently about all of this than I do.
I'm not so sure that when the unemployment rate in this country is still hovering around eight percent that anyone should be complaining about what their job wants them to do. Shouldn't these folks be happy that they have a job? And really, is going into work at midnight that big of a deal? I don't see how that is going to cut into someone's Thanksgiving time with their family. What time do those people eat, anyway? You have an early dinner, you take a nap afterwards if you're so inclined, and then you show up when you're supposed to. I am not sympathetic to the workers who think that they're being mistreated by having to show up at midnight or 10pm or whatever on Thanksgiving. Yes, I guess it sucks (although I'm still not real clear as to why or how it sucks), but that's kind of how life works. Sometimes, things suck. Sometimes, your work is going to want you to do stuff that you'd rather not do. Am I the only one who understands that concept? I feel like I am.
And really, is anyone surprised that it's come down to this? The way I see it, Thanksgiving is becoming just a huge inconvenience for people who want Christmas to be here NOW. It's become a holiday that everyone just rushes through so that they can get to the Christmas shopping. For years now, people have been lining up outside of stores on Thanksgiving evening to wait until the store doors open at 5am or some other ungodly hour. Those folks don't seem to give a fat rat's ass about being at home on Thanksgiving, so why should the stores? I'm not saying that I agree with that philosophy. I'm just saying that I can see why it's come down to this.
Personally, I think that the whole Black Friday thing has kind of jumped the shark. Trust me, if a store offers a good enough deal but doesn't open their doors until 6am the day after Thanksgiving, there will still be people in line. Do they really think that those extra six hours are going to make or break their bottom line? I don't get it. Then again, the last thing in the world that I would want to do is to line up outside of a store, at night and in the cold so that I can be amongst a swarm of people and attempt to SHOP. Ugh. I don't want shop period, let alone under those circumstances. But good luck to all of you people who think that you're accomplishing something. I hope that works out for you. As far as all of you complaining retail workers, suck it up.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Now that you're all nice and rightly sloshed from playing the Thanksgiving Drinking Game, it's time to play Thanksgiving Bingo! (This is apparently courtesy of Holytaco.com.) Mark off the squares as they're observed. (I for one am looking forward to marking off the "Someone Smoking Weed" square.) I can already come up with nine that are going to be easily checked off within 20 minutes (10 minutes if you only count the drunk aunt). If I can alter a couple just slightly (like changing 'Creepy Uncle' to 'Awesome Uncle' or changing 'racism' to 'extremely heated political discussion which may or may not involve Israel and a brief history of time') then I am golden. There are some that I'm hoping to never check (like both explosive diarrhea AND the clogged toilet at the same time). But I'm fairly certain I can get a bingo before halftime in the second football game. Let's find out!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Saturday, November 17, 2012
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Friday, November 16, 2012
You also get some creamy polenta, wild mushrooms, pancetta and shaved white truffles, a puree of pumpkin soup, faro almonds, pumpkin oil and white truffles, a milanese style egg (Lord only knows what that consists of), truffle bread crumb, spinach, roasted cherry tomatoes, truffle vinaigrette and humboldt fog goat cheese and, of course, some tagliatelle con tartufi bianchi pasta with parmesan cheese sauce and white shaved truffle. (That's fancy pants talk for "spaghetti with mushrooms".) Dessert is chocolate lava cake with truffle ricotta gelato and honey. (That does not sound good.) But wait! There's more!
Now, this is supposed to be a meal for four people. That doesn't change the fact that $26,000 is still ridiculous. If you were feeding a thousand people for that much money, it might be worth it. But four people? Not a chance. But here's where it goes from plain old expensive to just downright ridiculous. The meal comes with a watch. That's right. A timepiece! And not just any old timepiece. No, it's a 47mm Panerai Luminor Submersible 1950 Amagnetic 3 Days Automatic Titanio watch that goes for around $11,000. And that's all fine and good, but it shouldn't count toward what constitutes an expensive dinner!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
He claims to not have any regrets, saying "I’m a tattoo guy, and it was something fun...I was trying to make politics fun. I didn’t change no lives; I’m no hero. But I shed blood for this campaign, and I’m glad to know that I did all that I could.” Well, he's right about some things. He certainly didn't "change no lives". And while he sort of technically shed blood for the campaign (I suppose), when did that become a part of campaigning? (And if it is going to be a part, why couldn't it be bloodier and more violent?)
The article goes on to say that "He said he has learned some lessons from the experience, mainly that “the Republican Party needs quite a bit of reform,” mostly in winning over young voters." I totally agree that the Republican Party needs to be reformed and needs to bring in young voters. But I'm not so sure that the way to do that is by getting facial tattoos for your "cause". I mean, if I were a younger voter and I was trying to decide between the party that tattoos their face and the party that doesn't tattoo their face, I'm gonna go with the non-tattooing party just to be on the safe side.
I think the worst part about this, other than the actual tattoo itself, is all of the explaining he is going to have to do, say, thirty or forty years from now when he's sixty or seventy and people want to know what happened to his face. That would be like someone today sporting a Hubert Humphrey facial tattoo from 1968. (For the record, I had to look up who lost in 1968. I had absolutely no idea. I imagine it's going to be the same with Romney in the year 2052.) How well do you think that would go over? Yeah, probably about as well as a Romney tattoo on your face today. Exactly.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Friday, November 9, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
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Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Saturday, November 3, 2012
But wait! There's more! (Of course there is.) Her full statement reads: "I chose to seek treatment after consulting with my manager regarding my recent use of Xanax, which was prescribed by my physician for panic attacks. There were no other people involved with me entering treatment other than my manager and myself. There was no intervention that took place. I am working in therapy every day with my doctors and therapists regarding the origin of these attacks so as not to have to rely on medications to handle it. I am paying for my own treatment; I am finding my voice here." Wait. What now?
First of all, I don't believe for one effing second that she is paying for her own treatment. Or if she is, it's because it's covered by MediCaid and she considers that it isn't technically welfare that she's paying for it. Mark my words that she is not coughing up cash out of her own pocket to pay for thirty days of rehab. I guarantee you that. But that's not that part that I'm just stunned about. It's the part where she says "I am working in therapy every day with my doctors and therapists regarding the origin of these attacks so as not to have to rely on medications to handle it." What now?
She's working in therapy every day in regard to the origin of her panic attacks? I can figure those out right now. Not in one day. Not even in one minute. No, I can figure that out in one second. Ready? Pay attention now. It's because you have FOURTEEN CHILDREN. The origin of the panic attacks was having fourteen children and no means to support them (other than touching yourself to satisfaction on camera for money). That's the origin! How in the hell can she not know that?! Next!
Besides, how is learning the "origin" of the alleged panic attacks going to help? She has fourteen kids, she's dumb as a post, she's a disaster of a human being and she has no income. There are the origins. Now what? Short of putting the children into homes that are able to take care of them (and homes that do not currently have fourteen children), what is she planning on doing? There's nothing that can be done. Nothing. Oh, wait. There is one thing. She can suck it up, buttercup. God, I loathe this woman.