Monday, August 27, 2012

Hay, Mitt.

Mitt Romney gave an interview with Chris Wallace of Fox News over the weekend.  Apparently, the interview was given at Mitt Romney's sprawling country compound.  I don't know that I would have done the interview at my place if I had a place like his, but no one asked me.  (Then again, I don't know if I would have an interview at the place that I live now.  The world doesn't need to see my walled off squalor.)  Chris Wallace was all dressed in his suit and tie and interview clothes and Mitt Romney was all dressed in his "I'm a rich guy who is trying to look like a regular guy, but I'm going to do it in a rich guy way and thereby not come off as a regular guy at all" clothes.  You know what I mean.  The carefully creased and starched pants (they weren't jeans, so that is an improvement) and the shirts that look like graph paper.  And right next to them were three of the most outlandishly, pre-planned, obviously placed hay bales that I have ever seen.  Behold! 

Seriously, I had a really difficult time watching the interview and hearing anything that either one of them said because all I could do is look at those hay bales.  All I could think of was "Seriously?  Somebody approved that?  Somebody decided to do that?  Somebody thought that was a good idea? Someone thought that those extremely out of place hay bales are communicating something positive about Mitt?"  Is that what went on?  Maybe I should consider making the walls around my walled-off compound even higher because this is one of the most ridiculous set-ups I have ever seen. 

How would that help the candidate at all?  Look at how perfectly they're placed there.  It's like a movie set or something.  Two of the bales are at an angle and the third is carefully placed on top.  I guess we're supposed to infer (somehow) that Mitt and his ranch hand were unloading bales of hay off the struck and three of the bales conveniently ended up right there on the edge of the patio where Mitt took a break from 'farmin' in order to do a quickie interview with Chris Wallace?!  Are we supposed to be that stupid?!  Why in the world would you EVER have hay bales on the edge of your patio?  You wouldn't.  You just wouldn't.  Does he have a horse on his patio?  Does Ann's dressage horse eat hay on their patio?  I don't think that it does! 
They look like they're from a Pottery Barn catalog or something.  (New from Pottery Barn's Amityville collection, it's the Stackable Hay Bale Set!  Available in Medium and Large.  Colors limited to taupe and beige.  Extra individual hay bales are available.)  I wonder if they interlock together in a specific way.  Perhaps they click together as if they were purchased from Ikea!  What is it with political candidates and hay bales?!  Hillary did something like this as well back in 2008 as I recall.  She even adopted a weird, fleeting, slight southern accent when challenging then-Senator Barry to a debate that would be held anywhere including doing it on the back of a flatbed truck.  Like Hillary Clinton has any idea what a flatbed truck is. 

Good God, I need this to be over.  Is it November yet?

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